What that must have felt like! To have seen Jesus murdered and buried with your very own eyes. Even though you may have heard Him say repeatedly that He had to die; be buried; and that He would rise again, how could the human mind grasp it?
To think of someone dying and then raising from the dead. How could they "Get it?" Sure, they had seen Him raise Lazurous from the dead but He was alive then. What hope was there with Him dead?
Still, HE KEEPS HIS PROMISES!! PRAISE GOD!!!
Still, what it must have felt like to see Him alive again!!!!!!!!!!!
Praise God!!!
Here are 2 of my very favorite singers expressing all of my thoughts oh so grandly. This is one of my favorite songs!
Today is not the best day in the world. Although it's Cora's birthday, and I am so thrilled to honor my daughter today, I just don't feel well. I mean I truly haven't felt WELL in so long that I'm not sure what it would feel like. However, today is a worse day than normal meaning my stomach hurts; my head hurts; and I can't think very well.
At such moments, I know that I can no longer press on thinking of EVERYONE else's needs before mine. It is PAST time to take care of me!!! Being it takes awhile to fill the whirlpool I decided to lie down on my BETAR table for awhile.
"Now which of the 14,000 songs in my music library, do I want to listen to today?" I asked myself. Too loud would upset my stomach more but too soft wouldn't be enough to shake the headache loose. It's an art, you see, setting up a play list for someone--especially when one is not feeling the best.
I finally settled on a favorite from my youth--the Carpenters. So I was lying there about 15 minutes ago, nearly asleep, when this song came up in the rotation. I was deeply relaxed and starting to feel better when these words leaped out at me. Why had I never heard them before?
SINCE I THREW MY SADNESS AWAY--ONLY YESTERDAY!!!
At that moment, my 8 1/2 years of training my intuition to listen to the prompts of the subconscious came in very handy. I simply envisioned a big red balloon with all of my sadness from my entire life in it. The string was in my hand so I opened my hand, in my imagination, and let it go up and up into the sky until I no longer saw my sadness any longer.
Now, that is still processing but I can tell you that it felt wonderful and I just HAD to share it with all of you. This is a wonderful healing concept!!!!!!!!!! I urge you to give it a try if you are sad today. Thanks to the Carpenters we can just throw it away with the garbage. God means for us to have joy and this is a way to get back to our natural state of JOY!
Thanks for listening and I hope that you give it a try!
I have been in pain so long that I don't even remember not hurting in some fashion--emotionally or physically!! Certainly the past 10 years have been the most painful years. I would have done myself in many times already if it weren't for this one thing--HOPE!!!!!
Hope has taken many forms for me in the past 10 years. First I learned BodyTalk and that continues to be the strongest healing tool that I have. Then I learned radionics, which is also incredibly powerful, and it added another layer of healing.
I have gotten relief countless times with the tool called Emotional Freedom Technique. Kangen water has helped immensely and so have many herbal remedies to help the body cleanse and heal like goDesana's liver care program. Want to know a secret? I have even followed the principles in the book YOUR OWN PERFECT MEDICINE which you'd have to read to grasp.
There are times when I absolutely would scream from emotional turmoil if it weren't for my BETAR table which is like a musical massage. Regular massage has helped at times also--when I could handle the pain of it.
Hydrotherapy, meaning time spent in my whirlpool with Epsom Salts, has saved the day countless times. Visits to the Salt Cave have also gotten me through many hard times and learning how to use Pink Himalayan Salt has helped so much!
Prayer warrior friends have carried me through the night more times than I know!! Also my family has been as supportive as they can be while protecting themselves from the exhaustion that families of chronically ill individuals have to face. Please keep them in your prayers!
Even with all of these tools, though, I would give up hope of ever being well if it weren't for this one thing. My clients need me to stay strong for them. I feel like I have done well by my family!!! Now my children are strong, independent young people who don't really need me any more and that hurts more than anyone could imagine if they hadn't spent 22 years home schooling their children!
So, today, as I pondered continuing the struggle of life, God had me watch this movie. I see, in a fresh light, that I am here for a reason. I am first and foremost a wife and mother but what after that? I am a teacher--I am a teacher too!!
This blog has been my attempt to teach things that I find to be helpful in life. This blog is my attempt to share what I've learned and that is commonly called teaching. Today it seems immensely satisfying to urge you all to reach out and teach someone the things that you know. It doesn't do any good to feel sorry for ourselves because we are older or in pain or washed up or shrunk down to nothing. If you have something to teach, teach it to whoever will listen, and then see how wonderful you will feel! Maybe someday someone will actually thank you for it!!
As I have become more and more crippled from MS over the past few years, my hopes of doing anything really great for the Lord grew dimmer and dimmer! Some days it's hard to see the screen as I write. I LOVE to write. It's always been wonderful therapy for me, but what happens if I can't ever see to do it? What then??
Well, you can imagine (I hope), how much Pastor Prince's meditation today means to me!!! Is it REALLY possible that HE now has me where He can REALLY use me? Has He shaped me through these years of pain to do something totally WONDERFUL for Him?
This concept is flooding me with hope this morning. I started this blog originally to share hope with others who are suffering too. May these words stir up hope in you today, as they have in me, to open your mind to see where God is taking you from here.
God bless you all and God bless Pastor Prince whom God has used to bless this weary one!!!
Dawn
PS. I daily covet your prayers as I search for meaning and purpose to keep going!
GOD
CAN USE THOSE WHOM THE WORLD REJECTS
1 Mar
1 Corinthians
1:26 For you see your calling, brethren,
that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are
called.
You may think that you are a nobody, maybe even a has-been or a loser in the
eyes of the world. Take heart because God’s Word says that if you are not wise,
not mighty or not noble according to the flesh, then you are a prime candidate
for Him to call on! And when He begins to use you, you will see His favor, power
and increase change your life.
In the eyes of the ancient world, Moses was the rising star of Egypt. The
Bible tells us that in the first 40 years of his life, “Moses was learned in all
the wisdom of the Egyptians, and was mighty in words and deeds”. (Acts 7:22) But
God could not use him then because he was too smart, strong and full of
himself.
It was only 40 years later, after having been in the unglamorous desert of
Midian, emptied of himself and thinking that he was a has-been, that God sent
him to confound the might of Pharaoh.
The world may pass them by—the weak, the small, the forgotten and the losers,
but God chooses them to confound those mighty in the world.
I know this to be true. As a little boy, I grew up facing rejection and
ridicule because of my Indian-Chinese racial mix. And as a teenager, I was the
butt of many jokes because of my stammering and stuttering.
When I was in my teens, I remember praying to God, “I don’t know what I can
do for or give You, but You got me—spirit, soul and body.” I don’t know how many
times I prayed that prayer. But I knew that God heard me because He called me.
Only God would dare choose me, a stammerer and stutterer, to pastor a church for
Him that has since grown to more than 30,000 members today.
I know what I was and where I came from. I know I have done nothing and can
do nothing apart from His anointing and grace in my life.
My friend, when you think that you are weak and small compared to others in
the world, that is when God can use you to do great and wonderful things for
Him!
I just read an excerpt from a book, written by Craig Groeschel, that crossed my path recently. The book is called, "When you believe in God but don't forgive." These words could have been written by me except that it was written by the brother of the victim and not the victim herself. Still, they touched my heart and I share for any of you who were molested as a child too--or loved someone who was!
When
my little sister, Lisa, was born on my third birthday, my parents told me that
she was my birthday present from God. We’ve been inseparable ever since. Of
course we endured occasional sibling rivalries and conflicts, but she was always
my baby sis, whom I loved as much as anyone else in the world. She still
is.
I always believed I was her protector. Like a mother lion protecting
her cubs, I was the big brother looking out for his little sis.
You can
imagine how I felt when I learned of the tragedy. I found out that my little
sister had been molested for years by a close family friend. Max had been Lisa’s
sixth-grade teacher. He taught me to play racquetball, shopped at my dad’s
retail store, and often cheered for my sister at her school drill-team
performances. At the time, this single man in his mid-thirties seemed like a
nice person looking for friends. Our family readily accepted him, unaware that
behind the supportive teacher facade was a very sick man who repeatedly abused
numerous girls over many years.
To say that I wanted Max to die and burn
in hell doesn’t even begin to convey how much I wanted him to suffer. Although
the words rage, hate, and revenge come to mind when I think
about Max, the English language simply doesn’t have a word for what I
felt.
We all know Christians are supposed to forgive. But many of us
Christian Atheists think that there are exceptions to this rule. Sure, we should
forgive most of the time — maybe even almost all of the time. But
forgive a guy like Max?
Forget about it.
Bitterness
Hopefully
you’ve never experienced something that hurt you as deeply as Max hurt our
family. Unfortunately, chances are good that you have or that someone you know
has. Sexual abuse is one of countless different kinds of betrayal. You might
have confided in someone who betrayed your trust. Perhaps a close friend
gossiped about you or cheated you out of money. Maybe your spouse lived a secret
life and crushed you. If you’re like many, one or both of your parents did
something that deeply disappointed you. Perhaps right now you’re reeling in pain
from being trampled by someone you loved and trusted.
After the raw shock
of discovering Max’s abuse of my sister, one feeling festered inside me:
bitterness. Truthfully, feeling bitter felt right. What else should I feel?
After what he did to so many innocent little girls, he should suffer like they
suffered, right? One day Max will get what’s coming to him.
As a
Christian Atheist, I felt justified in my bitter hatred, but the Bible clearly
illustrates the danger of this natural response. One verse in Hebrews is easy to
miss. It’s tucked between one verse about holiness and another about sexual
purity. Hebrews 12:15 says,
See to it that no one misses the grace of
God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile
many.
The root of bitterness grows in the soil of hurt that has not
been dealt with properly. Unknown to me, a root of bitterness started to grow in
my heart. Roots absorb and store, and my heart absorbed and stored hurt, anger,
hatred, and thoughts of revenge. Love keeps no record of wrongs, but bitterness
keeps detailed accounts. And that’s what I did. Over and over I played the story
in my mind. Each time I pictured Max, my hatred grew.
Soon the root of
bitterness started to push shoots out into my life. The verse in Hebrews warns
that this bitter root can “cause trouble and defile many.” My sister was
permanently scarred by this cruel offense. As her brother, I took her offense as
my own and allowed her wound to stain, pollute, and contaminate my heart.
Bitterness is frighteningly easy to justify. Since I’ve been wronged, I have
a right to feel this way.
When the target of our bitterness suffers,
we celebrate their misfortunes. After all, they are getting what they
deserve.
When we found out that Max had been diagnosed with muscular
dystrophy, I naturally concluded God was giving him his due. But when anyone
celebrates another person’s being diagnosed with a crippling disease, it’s time
for a heart check. The longer I allowed the root of bitterness to live, the
harder it was to kill. The root bored deeper, and the poison spread.
Killing the
Root
When
you pull a weed from the ground, if you don’t get the roots, the weed will
return. So it is with bitterness. Fortunately, Scripture shows us how to kill
the root of bitterness. And unfortunately, we Christian Atheists are often
skilled at avoiding this spiritual medicine. According to Ephesians 4:31-32, the
only way to eliminate the root of bitterness is forgiveness.
Get rid
of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form
of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just
as in Christ God forgave you.
Forgiving is easier said than done, of
course. Only God’s power can bring us to a place of being willing to forgive.
How could human willpower even begin to want to forgive someone like
Max?
Praying for the
Miracle
As
I sat in church one Sunday, my pastor preached a convicting message on
forgiveness, explaining how we should release those who’ve wronged us. As he
read the words from Scripture commanding me to forgive, everything in me
screamed, No! I don’t want to forgive Max! I refuse to release
him!
My pastor preached on. And God ever-so-slowly chipped away at
the rough edges of my heart. As church neared its end, I walked alone to the
altar to ask God for His help to forgive. I remember telling God that I knew I
should forgive this man I hated, but I didn’t want to. And even if I did want
to, I wouldn’t know how to forgive such a wrong.
The next week, in my
personal Bible study, I came across a verse that helped to soften my heart a bit
more. In Luke 6:28, Jesus teaches us to
bless those who curse you,
pray for those who mistreat you.
I’m supposed to pray for those
who mistreat me? Sure, I’ll pray for Max. I’ll ask God to give him a case of
eternal hemorrhoids. I certainly wasn’t ready to pray for anything
good.
Later I stumbled across another one of Jesus’ annoying commands.
This one is found in Matthew 5:43-44, where Jesus says,
You have
heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell
you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
There
it was again — love and pray for your enemies!
Knowing I couldn’t ignore
this command any longer, I tried to pray for Max. In sheer obedience to God, I
simply prayed a grudging but obedient three-second prayer: “God, I pray you work
in his life.”
Over the weeks and months, I continued uttering those same
words. At first it was as painful as walking barefoot on burning coals. But
eventually it became more bearable. Then I actually started to mean what I was
praying. God, work in his life.
When we’re told to pray for
those who’ve hurt us, I’m convinced our prayers are as much for ourselves as
they are for the offender. As God has helped me move beyond my Christian Atheist
doubts about prayer, now I see an added value of praying for those who hurt me.
My prayers for others may or may not change them. But my prayers always change
me.
Praying for Max over time changed me. It made me a different person,
so different that I began to contemplate the impossible: asking God to help me
forgive Max.
Reluctant
Forgiveness
I
knew I was supposed to forgive Max for what he did to my sister, but I honestly
didn’t have a clue how to do it. God had convicted me and convinced me to begin
but Max’s actions still seemed unforgivable.
The answer is simple, but
the farthest thing from easy. Colossians 3:13 teaches us to “forgive as the Lord
forgave you.” God has forgiven us freely and completely, without any strings
attached. And that’s how we’re supposed to forgive others. In what’s now known
as the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus taught us to pray,
Forgive us our sins,
for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. - Luke
11:4
Nothing in me felt like forgiving, but I still made the choice to
try.
By faith, I asked God to help me forgive Max for what he’d done to
my sister. By faith, I told God that I released Max from his sin. My prayer
didn’t feel sincere, but at least I was trying. Daily I bounced between wanting
to forgive and wanting revenge. By nothing short of the power of God, I finally
started to believe forgiveness was possible.
I can’t overstate what God
had to do in my heart to get me to this point. This predator never apologized.
He never attempted to right his wrongs. He never begged for our
forgiveness.
My heart was stone hard. And only God could soften it to the
point that I could even consider forgiving this molester. Miraculously, that’s
what God did. To this day, I don’t know exactly how or when it happened. But it
did. By God’s grace, I had forgiven Max for his sin and abuse. With God’s help
I’d done the humanly impossible, and I felt as though a spiritual weight had
been lifted. The Bible became clearer. God seemed nearer. My heart was
purer.
One Christmas, when I was visiting my parents, I decided to write
Max a letter expressing my forgiveness. The task wasn’t easy, but that’s often
par for the course. In the letter, I explained how much God had forgiven me. I
told Max the story of Jesus and His love for us. I explained that I had forgiven
him and that God could as well. I included a short prayer he might pray, asking
Jesus to heal his heart and forgive his sins.
I didn’t realize that Max’s
sickness had advanced. He was losing the battle with muscular dystrophy. In
fact, at the time he received the letter, Max was under the care of a hospice
nurse, waiting for inevitable death.
Months after Max passed away, his
nurse sent us a letter asking if she could talk to us. When we agreed, she told
us about the last days of Max’s life, believing we needed to know. The caregiver
explained that Max’s eyesight had deteriorated and that he had asked her to read
him my note. Although she wasn’t aware of what he had done (and I never told
her), it was obvious to her that he had done something grievously wrong.
According to the nurse, he listened with tears streaming down his face. He asked
her to pray the prayer with him. She recalled that his whole countenance changed
as he asked Christ to forgive him and make him new. He died a few days
later.
We Christian Atheists can rationalize as many excuses as we need
to avoid forgiving. We Christians, however, can find in God the sheer strength
to battle through the feelings of anger, hatred, and bitterness, and fight our
way back to the cross. That’s where Christ forgave us. And that’s where, by
faith, we can find the ability to forgive those who’ve wronged
us.
Excerpted from The Christian Atheist by
Craig Groeschel, copyright Craig Groeschel. Published by Zondervan.
