It was one year ago tonight (at 8:22) that my mother died. One of my friends said to her husband that night, "It is the best thing that has ever happened to Dawn!" I know that many people will gasp at that statement, but I guess that you would have had to have REALLY known my mother, to be able to grasp the truth in what was said about her.
My mother was one of the most selfish people that I've ever met. EVERYTHING HAD TO REVOLVE AROUND HER WISHES OR SHE'D POUT LIKE A TWO-YEAR-OLD! Perhaps you recall the grape video that I posted about her right after her death? If not, you can look it up under videos to try to understand what I'm saying here.
Truly, not once in the past year, have I missed my mother! I kept checking my heart to see if I REALLY missed her, but it was just some memory of wishing that she and I would be close that would surface. I cried for about 2 weeks after her death. Jacob asked me then, "Why are you crying when she was your biggest enemy?" I told him, "I guess it's the loss of hope that we'll be close someday that I grieve."
I did decide to mark this day with a blog post, though, because I WANT to believe that my mother left me with SOME good character traits in SOME way. Here are a few pictures of the treasures of hers I've inherited since her death, along with comments that I recall about things she said.
Perhaps you recall that I had my mom's expensive fur coats made into teddy bears for my children and I? I decided to post a picture of mine for those of you who have joined my blog since that time. The fur came from a leather coat she had and Martha made little vests for the boys' bears out of that coat too. Before my mother was rich, she was poor. That was when she taught me the art of recycling and making do with what you have. Thanks for this lesson, Mom!
About 2 months after mom's death, I finally agreed with dad's wishes to have me come and take away all of her clothes. I just couldn't stomach the thought before that. When I got to the back of the shelf in her closest, I discovered this box. Now, having watched THE CHRISTMAS BOX repeatedly (AND read the true story), I have been captivated with the idea of finding a treasure in a lovely, old box hidden away somewhere out of sight. When I found this box, I held my breath just KNOWING that there WAS a treasure inside. I WAS RIGHT!!!
The lovely, old box was filled with lovely, old handkerchiefs that my mom had neatly ironed and put away decades ago. I gave one to each of my children and then proceeded to use them WITHOUT ironing them in between. GASP!
I still recall asking Mom about 10 years ago, when I had just sewn my children all new handkerchiefs for Christmas gifts, "What ever made you give up using handkerchiefs, Mom?" I can still recall my stomach churning when she answered, "They were always full of snot." I suppose that some of you will find that funny, but I just cannot STOMACH anything vulgar like that! I can only think that, as my parent's bank account grew, my mother felt like she could afford to join the throw-away mentality which permeates our culture now. She and I never could come to terms with THAT difference in our thinking when one of my favorite books is THE TIGHTWAD GAZETTE! The ironed ones are the ones that she ironed and I haven't used yet. Maybe, someday, I'll take up ironing my handkerchiefs, but I don't think it will happen any time in the near future.
Here's another treasure that I inherited from my mother. My mother really did like to cook and this is a collection of her favorite recipes! I confess that I haven't spent much time looking in here until today. I just assumed that it was full of, "You open a can of this, and a box of that, and stir," as so many cooks do these days. In the bottom drawer I found a note on how to get tar out of clothing--USE PEANUT BUTTER! Perhaps I'll take a little more time today to honor my mother by studying her collection of recipes? Who knows, there may be a recipe to a childhood favorite? Thanks for teaching me how to cook, Mom!
Here's another treasure that I inherited from my mother. My mother really did like to cook and this is a collection of her favorite recipes! I confess that I haven't spent much time looking in here until today. I just assumed that it was full of, "You open a can of this, and a box of that, and stir," as so many cooks do these days. In the bottom drawer I found a note on how to get tar out of clothing--USE PEANUT BUTTER! Perhaps I'll take a little more time today to honor my mother by studying her collection of recipes? Who knows, there may be a recipe to a childhood favorite? Thanks for teaching me how to cook, Mom!
As I think of my REAL treasures, though, I know that there is none so wonderful as my precious family!!!! Cora snapped this picture of Andrew and I yesterday before they left for a friend's home-school graduation. What would I be if I weren't a mother? What would I be if I hadn't learned to unselfishly teach my children year after year? What would I be if my mother hadn't given birth to me? changed my diapers? made me German strudels to fatten me up? .......
I close this post in honor of my 1 year of life without my mother with the words of my Uncle David at her funeral. Uncle David hugged me and said, "She wasn't perfect, Dawnie, but SHE WAS STILL YOUR MOTHER!" I couldn't say it better!
Although I am REALLY glad that she isn't harassing me anymore, and everyone has said repeatedly this year, "It is so much more peaceful without Grandma getting Mom worked up all the time," she was STILL MY MOTHER.
Somewhere back there, she must have shown me the value of love because I know that I certainly could NOT live without IT! Here's to love then--may it thrive upon the earth and fill homes with LOTS OF IRONED HANDKERCHIEFS, AND OTHER SUCH TIME-CONSUMING NICETIES, THAT PEOPLE REALLY APPRECIATE LATER ON!!!! Goodbye Mom--thanks for the ironed handkerchiefs!
Doing well,
Dawn
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