I don't know if Gospel music comforts you like it does me. Maybe a person would have to be raised in a singing family for it to have such a strong effect. I praise God for how He is able to comfort me by hearing others praising Him! He is soo worthy of our praise for His goodness and kindness and consideration of us feeble souls here on Earth!
Yesterday ended up being frustrating. Perhaps you've had days when every little thing is irritating? Maybe I should have gone back to bed. lol
I was trying to get laundry done; I got requests for 3 BodyTalk sessions; and I had a big mess in my kitchen from having made bread the day before. That meant the bowl from my Bosch machine was full of dry dough pieces; the dough hooks impossibly covered in gook; the bread pans needed cleaning; the rolling pin stuck full of dough dabs from the pizza crust I'd made; and the counter and coffee maker was covered with flour. UG!
I think it's time to confess that I have a bad habit of putting off washing kettles until I feel like it or I need them for cooking. lol There are just so many oven and pantry spots to hide them in and then it's time to wash kettles. Did I mention that I have a pretty small dishwasher? I'm thankful that it does the dishes and silverware but it's not going to handle many kettles at one time. sigh
So it was kitchen clean up day yesterday plus I was trying to do sessions and keep the laundry moving through the machines. I did not have time to spare and I ended up in an argument with a dear friend who was not sympathizing with me just then. big sigh
So I stopped everything and went and used my BETAR table as I neither wanted my heart to act up nor did I desire to loose this special friend! While lying there and chilling the Lord played this song for me. At any rate, it was playing and the Lord drew my attention to it.
Could anything be more perfect for me at that time? God has gotten me through EVERYTHING so far and He will get me through EVERYTHING in the future. That leaves only right now which He can also get me through! I was humbled at His compassion for me and I still am.
If you're having an irritating day, then, I urge you to listen to this song or do whatever you do that makes you feel closer to God! HE LOVES US SOOOO MUCH!! May His compassion for you warm your hearts and calm your fears today!
Right now, on the other side of my walls, it is 15.9 DEGREES BELOW ZERO!! That's as warm as it's going to get here today as a COLD FRONT is MOVING IN!!! By tomorrow morning, it's expected to be 30 DEGREES BELOW ZERO!! Even for North Dakota that's COLD!!!
I'm rejoicing immensely in my 70 degree house while I pray for my guys who just left for the plant. They're pushing hard to get the color sorter ready by Spring! At least the color sorter room is heated to 50 degrees so they'll be warm in their coveralls--once they get there!
As I cleaned my kitchen after making their lunch, this song ran through my head! I felt like Father wanted me to share it with my dear readers. Of course it had to be the Booth Brother's version. ;) Now I'm wondering if Father wanted me to listen to this song so that I get this old body moving on a cold January morning! I love clapping my hands and singing at the top of my lungs about His love for all of us!! I DO feel warmer now! lol
It's not just the brisk pace of this song that's warming me today. I love knowing that I'm clean from the sins I've committed. Even though I sin every day, due to my human nature, I can have victory over all that by simply surrendering my day to Jesus. He has a plan for this day and it is GOOD!! How I love going through life in unity with Him!!! I pray that all of my readers know this joy!
Jesus blood can wash away ALL of our sins! By believing in Jesus as our Savior; by asking for His forgiveness of our sins; by inviting Jesus to come into our lives and take over, we can all be singing His praises no matter what the weather is like outside!! Jesus is there for you now! All you have to do is talk to Him and invite Him to come into your life!!
I hope you enjoy this song!! May Jesus fill you with His warmth today!!
I'm making pancakes for my guys for supper. I've been sick all day and have very little energy so I'm making pancakes for supper. That's not such a bad supper, is it?
Now, this is what I'M having for supper: burnt toast and milk. Due to all of the stress in my life here lately, the ulcer in my stomach has reappeared. I learned decades ago how to heal an ulcer quickly so I'll share in case life has been eating at you too!
1. Take out a frying pan.
2. Add to the pan up to a tablespoon of butter
3. Put the pan on the stove
4. Turn on the stove and the exhaust fan.
5. Burn the toast on one side
6. Flip the bread over
7. Burn the toast on the other side and I do mean black!
8. Get out a cereal bowl
9. Put the burnt toast in the bowl
10. Cover the toast with milk--raw is best
11. Let the milk soak into the burnt toast.
12. Eat this happily knowing that the fire in your gut is soon going out!
13. Repeat as needed--up to 4 times a day if it's very painful
Now I realize that this has close to ZERO appeal but, when your gut is burning in the middle of the night, you'll try anything once. After it worked for me the first time, about 25 years ago, I've used it every time since. THIS REALLY WORKS!!
Still, if you don't want to give it a try, I understand. So I went in search of an article with more ideas for healing ulcers naturally. I liked this particular article as it shows the pitfalls of using drugs to try to heal your ulcer including resultant food poisoning. That surely is an improvement to having an ulcer!
In conclusion, if you have an ulcer, you have my sympathies. My ulcers have always erupted from prolonged periods of stress. Finding ways to relax are paramount in my mind then! Prayer is a super method for relaxing internal tensions--so is gardening. I urge you all to find your joy and partake in it often and regularly. Surely preventing an ulcer is the very best way to go!!
Have a great week!!
Dawn
Your Stomach Pain May Be Due To An Ulcer (here’s how to detect and treat it) hare
Peptic ulcers are an extremely common health problem, affecting as many as 50% of Americans. Other terms used for this condition are gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) or Acid reflux disease. A popular symptom of acid reflux or an ulcer is "heartburn", the burning sensation behind your breastbone that sometimes travels up your throat. In some cases, this pain is severe enough to be mistaken for a heart attack.
Along with discomfort and pain in the abdomen, a stomach ulcer can cause nausea, vomiting, heartburn, poor appetite, and weight loss. Stomach ulcers can even lead to a hole in the stomach, which causes an extremely painful stabbing pain in the stomach and requires immediate surgery. A very small fraction of ulcers might signal cancer.
What Causes Ulcers
Acid reflux and ulcers are thought to be caused by excessive amounts of acid in the stomach, which is why acid-blocking drugs are typically recommended and prescribed. However, this is a serious medical misconception that adversely affects hundreds of millions of people, as the problem usually results from having too little acid in your stomach. However, ulcers can have several different causes, so traditional treatments depend on the root of the cause. Stomach ulcers are often treated with antibiotics for an infection or medications to reduce, block, or neutralize stomach acid.
After food passes through your esophagus into your stomach, a muscular valve called the lower esophageal sphincter (LES) closes, preventing food or acid to move back up.
Acid reflux occurs when the LES relaxes inappropriately, allowing acid from your stomach to flow (reflux) backward into your esophagus. But it's important to understand that acid reflux is not a disease caused by excessive acid production in your stomach; rather it's a symptom more commonly related to:
Hiatal hernia
Helicobacter pylori (H. pylori) infection (H. pylori bacteria is thought to affect more than half of the world's population, and has been identified as a Group 1 carcinogen by the World Health Organization)
While these two conditions are unrelated, many who have a hiatal hernia also have H. pylori, which cause a chronic low-level inflammation of your stomach lining that can result in an ulcer and associated symptoms. If you have a hiatal hernia, physical therapy on the area may work and many chiropractors are skilled in this adjustment.
Stomach ulcers are open sores in the lining of the stomach. Because of the amount of acid present in the stomach, ulcers there are often extremely painful. Certain prescription and over-the-counter (OTC) medications can also cause stomach ulcers. Typically the use of painkillers, such as aspirin, and nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory pills, such as ibuprofen or naproxen. Other common culprits include anxiety medications and antidepressants, antibiotics, blood pressure medications, nitroglycerin, and osteoporosis drugs.
If your heartburn is caused by a medication you're taking, the answer is to address what, when, and how you're taking that drug. Please do not make the mistake of simply adding yet another drug to counteract this side effect. Some helpful tips for how to address drug-induced ulcers/heartburn are:
Avoid taking more than the recommended or prescribed dose
Some medications are best taken on an empty stomach, while others are less likely to cause side effects when taken with a meal. Check the label for instructions, or ask your doctor or pharmacist for advise on when and how to take your medication
Ask your doctor or pharmacist to review ALL the medications and supplements you're taking to see if one or more of them cause heartburn.
Avoid laying down right after taking your medication
Changing the dose or switching to another medication may be advisable to ease your discomfort. You can also drink some ginger tea.
Why Medication Isn't Always A Good Idea
One of the most commonly prescribed drugs for heartburn and acid reflux are proton pump inhibitors (PPIs), which are very effective at blocking acid production in your stomach. While that may sound like an appropriate remedy, in most cases it's actually the worst approach possible, as the problem is typically related to your stomach producing too little stomach acid.
Medication like Nexium, Prilosec, and Prevacid are made to treat a very limited range of severe problems, and according to Mitchell Katz, director of the San Francisco Department of Public Health, they are only warranted for the treatment of:
Bleeding ulcers
Zollinger-Ellison syndrome (a rare condition that causes your stomach to produce excess acid)
Severe acid reflux, where an endoscopy has confirmed that your esophagus is damaged
Katz states that, "about 60 to 70% of people taking these drugs only have mild heartburn and shouldn't be on them." Part of the problem with PPIs is that when you suppress the acid in your stomach, you decrease your body's ability to kill the helicobacter bacteria. So if your heartburn is caused by an H. pylori infection, it makes the condition worse. Also, reducing stomach acid diminishes the primary defense mechanism for food-borne infections, increasing the risk of food poisoning. PPI drugs can also cause potentially serious side effects, including pneumonia, bone loss, hip fractures, and infection by harmful intestinal bacteria.
You can also develop both a tolerance and dependence on PPI drugs, so you should not stop taking them cold turkey. You must wean yourself off of them gradually or else you might experience a severe rebound of your symptoms. In some cases, the problem may end up being worse than before you started taking the medication.
There are over 16,000 articles in the medical literature showing that suppressing stomach acid does not address the problem, and that it only temporarily treats the symptoms.
There are also natural home remedies you can use to help ease the symptoms of a stomach ulcer and help it heal.
Easy Natural Ulcer Remedies That Are Extremely
Ulcers can flare up and become a chronic problem, that lead to a number of serious complications including bleeding, so it is important to treat them promptly. Instead of pursuing the most common conventional treatment, which only leads to further problems, following all-natural ulcer remedies is best and easiest.
The answer to this problem is to restore your natural gastric balance and function. Eat a lot of vegetables and other high-quality, ideally organic foods. Also, eliminate food triggers from your diet. Common culprits here include caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine products. Eating large amounts of processed foods and sugars is a surefire way to exacerbate ulcers, by further upsetting the bacterial balance in your stomach and intestine.
Consume Probiotics Daily
Make sure you're getting enough beneficial bacteria from your meals. This will help balance your gut flora, and eliminate H. pylori bacteria without resorting to antibiotics. It will also aid in proper digestion and assimilation of your food. Ideally, you should get your probiotics from fermented foods, but if you aren't eating fermented foods, you need to supplement with a probiotic on a regular basis. Ideally, you'll want to include a variety of cultured foods and beverages in your diet, as each food will inoculate your gut with a variety of different microorganisms. Fermented foods you can easily add to your diet are:
Fermented vegetables like sauerkraut
Chutneys
Cultured dairy, such as Greek yogurt, kefir, and sour cream
Miso
Buttermilk
Tempeh
Pickled Veggies
Eat Your Cabbage
To get more beneficial bacteria in your body, and keep the disease-causing bacteria in check that can lead to ulcers. One of the best ways to fortify the "GOOD" bacteria in your gastrointestinal tract is by regularly including cultured and lactic acid–fermented foods in your diet, that I talked about above.
But when it comes to ulcer treatment in particular, one lactic acid food stands out above the rest: cabbage juice. Decades before antibiotics, cabbage juice was successfully used to prevent or heal peptic and duodenal ulcers. In one study, it was shown that cabbage juice alone had a cure rate of over 92% in the treatment of these ulcers. This compared to about a 32% cure rate in those using a placebo or other treatment.
The dosage in the study consisted of only 50 mL of raw cabbage juice derived from a quart of freshly pressed cabbage. Based on numerous studies and early clinical work, researchers have begun to refer to this unknown ulcer-healing factor in cabbage as vitamin U.
Although in the above studies the cabbage juice wasn’t fermented, keep in mind that vegetables that grow close to the soil are naturally rich in beneficial lactic acid bacteria. That's why "starter cultures" aren't needed to ferment these vegetables, only salt and water.
Cabbage is also a reliable source of vitamin C, which has been found to be lower in the gastric juice of ulcer patients. So if you have ulcers, cabbage juice is a safe, effective, and inexpensive remedy. If you "culture" it or give it a chance to ferment, you'll experience even more benefits.
Garlic
I've often written about the miraculous powers of garlic and I highly recommend its use in cooking for good reason. Research on its preventive and therapeutic benefits continues to grow. It now appears that garlic keeps levels of the Helicobacter pylori (H. pylori) bacterium in check, that can contribute to the development of stomach ulcers. Researchers at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle discovered that garlic exhibits specific antimicrobial activity against H. pylori without entirely eliminating the strain, that can cause other digestive issues.
Pure Raw Honey
Honey possesses a number of powers and has been shown to be an effective ulcer treatment for two reasons. First, glucose oxidase, an enzyme in honey, produces hydrogen peroxide, that kills harmful bacteria that contribute to the development of ulcers. Antibacterial substances in honey add to honey’s effectiveness in eliminating bacteria.
Certain varieties of honey, however, can be more effective than others at healing ulcers. I have reports from Saudi Arabia, where local honey was used to cure ulcers, and from doctors in Egypt and Russia who have had positive results using their local honeys.
However, the key to successful ulcer treatment appears to hinge on it being natural, raw, unprocessed honey. Two tablespoons a day should do the trick, and when the problem has eased, 1 tablespoon daily should be enough.
Coconut
All forms of Coconut are very helpful for people suffering from stomach ulcers, because of the antibacterial qualities kills the bacteria that causes the ulcers. Coconut milk and coconut water actually have anti-ulcer properties, so drinking a few cups of fresh coconut milk or coconut water daily is very helpful. Also, eating the meat of the tender coconut for at least one week to get positive results. You can even take one tablespoon of coconut oil in the morning and another at night for one week. As coconut oil is mainly composed of medium-chain fatty acids, it is also easily digested.
Bananas
Compounds in dried, unripe bananas increase mucus in the digestive tract, that provides a strong protective coating to help prevent and heal ulcers. Unripe bananas also promote cell growth in the intestinal tract. And bananas contain water-soluble polysaccharides, the same compounds found in the anti-ulcer prescription drug Carafate.
I don't know about you but I get a little nervous when the lights start flickering. We had a 3 day power outage at the end of 2016 that none of us have forgotten. We were glad for a large wood pile and our fireplace those days.
The sticky wicket was that we had 3 households and 1 generator. It was the generator that we used across the road when we lived there. We hadn't gotten around to getting one for this house and Andrew and Marie had just gotten home from their honeymoon the day before the outage began.
This meant that the guys had to go out in the blizzard and move the generator from one house to the other so that nobody's pipes would freeze. It was a miserable day. The next day, the second day of the blizzard, Robert got up early and headed for Bismarck's Menards which is 60 miles away.
We fed the fire and prayed that he would be ok. Robert got there as generators were flying off the shelves. He was able to get 2 good sized ones--1 for our house and one for the newlywed's home. That helped a lot.
Of course, a generator doesn't enable a family of 4 (my mother-in-law was with us at that time) to use electricity like normal. Then we had another problem that our children's households were not dealing with.
I can't recall exactly the cause but our brand new generator broke something in our furnace so we STILL were without power. We kept feeding the fire; played games in front of it; and pondered our neighbor's offers of a shower. None of us 4 were inclined to go out in the blizzard just to take a shower; fight through the storm; then come back to a cold house.
With the fire going in the family room 24/7 we were able to keep the temperature in the house between 40 and 45. MANY layers of blankets helped us to sleep when we weren't feeding the fire which we took turns doing.
The last day of the blizzard, as it was loosing it's strength, Robert took his mom home (she had to get to a doctor's appointment for her scheduled cataract surgery) and got the part for our furnace. He arrived safely home and put the part in. Then he had to make some adjustment to the generator and lo and behold our furnace started.
We watched with delight as the temperature started rising in the house. It had reached about 55 when the POWER CAME BACK ON!! It's not that we weren't glad but poor Robert had driven through the blizzard twice to get us heat in the house...............
All in all, it was NOT a pleasant experience and I'm shivering just thinking about it as I write. We didn't even have it bad compared with those who had livestock to care for. Michael and Cora had milking to do; calves to feed; and the rest of their livestock to care for through the 3 day blizzard. YUK!
Being we've had a few flickering lights here lately, I thought I'd write to encourage everyone to make preparations for power outages. If you've never had one, that's great, but that doesn't mean that you won't.
I looked at several articles on making preparations for power outages. This one from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention seemed very helpful to me. I urge you to read it, or something similar, to be prepared for whatever our electrical grid may experience in the years ahead. Or you may want to go a step further. Perhaps you, like our son's household, will want to set up a solar heating system??
Keep warm,
Dawn
PS Where is that flashlight anyway?
What You Need to Know When the Power Goes Out Unexpectedly
To prevent carbon monoxide poisoning, use generators, pressure washers, grills, and similar items outdoors only. Generators should be used at least 20 feet away from your home.
Identify and throw away food that may not be safe to eat.
Check with local authorities to be sure your water is safe.
In hot weather, stay cool and drink plenty of fluids to prevent heat-related illness.
In cold weather, wear layers of clothing, which help to keep in body heat.
Avoid downed power lines, if a power line falls on a car, you should stay inside the vehicle.
CDC offers these tips to help you prepare for and cope with sudden loss of power.
Food Safety
If the power is out for less than 4 hours, then the food in your refrigerator and freezer will be safe to consume. While the power is out, keep the refrigerator and freezer doors closed as much as possible to keep food cold for longer. Visit Keep Food and Water Safe After a Disaster or Emergency for more information.
Safe Drinking Water
When power goes out, water purification systems may not be functioning fully. Safe water for drinking, cooking, and personal hygiene includes bottled, boiled, or treated water. Your state, local, or tribal health department can make specific recommendations for boiling or treating water in your area. For more information, visit Keep Food and Water Safe After a Disaster or Emergency.
Medications
Some drugs require refrigeration to keep their strength, including many liquid drugs.
When the power is out for a day or more, throw away any medication that should be refrigerated, unless the drug’s label says otherwise.
If a life depends on the refrigerated drug, but the medications have been at room temperature, use them only until a new supply is available.
Replace all refrigerated drugs as soon as possible.
Be aware of yours and others’ risk for heat stroke, heat exhaustion, heat cramps and fainting. To avoid heat stress, you should follow CDC’s heat safety tips.
Heat stroke is the most serious heat illness. It happens when the body can’t control its own temperature and its temperature rises rapidly. Sweating fails and the body cannot cool down. Body temperature may rise to 106°F or higher within 10 to 15 minutes. Heat stroke can cause death or permanent disability if emergency care is not given. Visit Warning Signs and Symptoms of Heat-Related Illness for more information on how to recognize symptoms and what to do if someone develops a heat-related illness.
If air conditioning is not available in your home:
Contact your local health department or locate an air-conditioned shelter in your area.
Spend some time at a shopping mall or public library- even a few hours spent in air conditioning can help.
Take cool showers or baths.
Don’t rely solely on fans to keep you cool. While electric fans might provide some comfort, when temperatures are really hot, they won’t prevent heat-related illness.
For more information on heat-related illnesses and treatment, see the CDC Extreme Heat Web site. Information for workers can be found on the NIOSH Web page Protecting Workers from Heat Illness.
These resources also provide information about extreme heat:
Heat Stress National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) Comprehensive heat-induced occupational illness and injury information.
Cold
Hypothermia happens when a person’s core body temperature is lower than 35°C (95°F). Learn more about how to recognize and prevent hypothermia.
First Aid for Electrical Shock
If you believe someone has been electrocuted take the following steps:
Look first. Don’t touch. The person may still be in contact with the electrical source. Touching the person may pass the current through you.
Call or have someone else call 911 or emergency medical help.
Turn off the source of electricity if possible. If not, move the source away from you and the affected person using a nonconducting object made of cardboard, plastic or wood.
Once the person is free of the source of electricity, check the person’s breathing and pulse. If either has stopped or seems dangerously slow or shallow, begin cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) immediately.
If the person is faint or pale or shows other signs of shock, lay the person down with the head slightly lower than the trunk of his or her body and the legs elevated.
Don’t touch burns, break blisters, or remove burned clothing. Electrical shock may cause burns inside the body, so be sure the person is taken to a doctor.
Power Line Hazards and Cars
If a power line falls on a car, you should stay inside the vehicle. This is the safest place to stay. Warn people not to touch the car or the line. Call or ask someone to call the local utility company and emergency services.
The only circumstance in which you should consider leaving a car that is in contact with a downed power line is if the vehicle catches on fire. Open the door. Do not step out of the car. You may receive a shock. Instead, jump free of the car so that your body clears the vehicle before touching the ground. Once you clear the car, shuffle at least 50 feet away, with both feet on the ground.
As in all power line related emergencies, call for help immediately by dialing 911 or call your electric utility company’s Service Center/Dispatch Office.
Do not try to help someone else from the car while you are standing on the ground.
Avoid Carbon Monoxide
For important information about the risk of carbon monoxide poisoning during a power outage, see the following resources.
Gasoline may be in short supply, before, during, and after natural disasters, such as hurricanes and floods. When there is not enough gasoline, people may want to take gasoline from one container and put it into another. This can be done by siphoning.
Siphoning gasoline can harm your health. Do not try to siphon gasoline. It can cause serious injury or illness.
Siphoning is when you use your mouth or a pump to suck a liquid such as gasoline out of one container, such as a gas tank, through a funnel or tube and into another container
Possible injuries and illness from any form of siphoning include:
Burns and injury from unintentional combustion of gasoline and/or gasoline vapors. This may happen if the gasoline or its vapors come into contact with a lit cigarette or static electricity.
Confusion, drowsiness, headache or problems concentrating from breathing gasoline vapors
Irritation of skin, eye or mucus membranes on contact
Other possible injuries and illness from siphoning when you use your mouth for suction include:
Lung damage, if gasoline is inhaled into the lungs (aspiration) during mouth-based siphoning
Gastrointestinal (GI) signs and symptoms such as nausea, vomiting and stomach pain if any gasoline is swallowed
Irritation of mucous membranes inside your mouth, throat and stomach on contact
If you do breath gasoline fumes or swallow gasoline and feel ill, see a doctor and/or call the poison center for help at 1-800-222-1222
Safety at Work During Power Recovery
As power returns after an outage, people at work may be at risk of electrical or traumatic injuries as power lines are reenergized and equipment is reactivated. CDC recommends that employers and employees be aware of those risks and take protective steps if they are in contact with or in proximity to power lines, electrical components, and the moving parts of heavy machinery.
CDC recommends that people make an emergency plan that includes a disaster supply kit. This kit should include enough water, dried and canned food, and emergency supplies (flashlights, batteries, first-aid supplies, prescription medicines, and a digital thermometer) to last at least 3 days. Use battery-powered flashlights and lanterns, rather than candles, gas lanterns, or torches (to minimize the risk of fire).
To learn more information on emergency plans and supply kits, see
There's all kinds of grief so it's hard to know how to comfort someone who is grieving. The most obvious is the death of a loved one. This morning I read about the grief of a family whose dog they loved for 14 years just died. I've even grieved the death of my garden in the Fall after I nurtured it and loved it for months and watched it develop. In one cold night, it was all gone!!
Right now I'm grieving the death of a dream. Robert and I worked hard to have our children living and working with us. Now that is ending as my daughter and her family are moving away.
So how does one comfort someone who is grieving? I wonder how many times that's been asked? I've experienced recently some ways NOT to comfort a grieving, lonely, sad person. That led me to a search for an article with some suggestions to help us out. What truly IS helpful to someone who is lost in a sea of their tears.
I liked this article. I pray that it will bless someone out there who is at a loss for a way to comfort a friend who is grieving. There are some really good ideas in here. I learned to appreciate the one about the postage stamps when my parents died. WOW was that ever nice to have stamps when we faced that monumental task of writing thank you cards to all those who had expressed kindness to our family.
My condolences to all of you who are grieving today! I am very sorry for your loss!! I pray that you will feel the hug that I am enclosing for you in this post. I pray that this post will bless you as you weave your way through your grief. Perhaps you can use these ideas in the future when someone you love is grieving.
In collage I took a class called DEATH AND DYING. I needed one more credit and my advisor recommended the class to me. The class focused on the different ways that various cultures deal with death. I'm sad to say that the American culture has one of the worst ways of dealing with death--we don't. We pretend that it will never happen to me and my family. What rot!! Everyone dies!!!!
That class helped me to appreciate life more than I had been doing. You see, when we know that our life will end at some point, each day becomes more precious. In 2006 I lay on my deathbed and that REALLY gave me a love for life. God sent me back when I stood at Heaven's door begging to be let in. He said, "No, you must go back. You have work to do yet!"
So I'm still here, and I'm glad, even though grief is a natural part of life on Earth. It seems to me that we ought to be using grief as a way to be drawing closer to each other. Here's a news bulletin--WE NEED EACH OTHER!!
May this article be a blessing to many as we learn together how to be truly present for someone who is grieving.
Dawn
13 Awkward (But Useful) Ways To Help Your Grieving Friend
The first weeks after losing my husband are a total blur. I sort of remember there was food and lots of hugging visitors. Unfortunately most of the faces and their gifts are swirled up in the tsunami that was my grief and I don’t remember much of it. It was so primal those first weeks; there really wasn’t much capacity for permanent recall.
Over time, I’ve regained a few of the brain cells no longer preoccupied with mere survival. I’ve found lists of what people brought and can now remember extraordinary ways people showed up to love us. I can’t begin to name all the things, but there are a few rock star grief goodies that stand out. Helpful things people gave, said or did that were extra useful, even if I didn’t realize it at the time. Most of these things came from people who have walked through their own hell.
Grief makes us amazing comforters and helpers if we let it. I could immediately tell who had experienced great loss in their lives by the things they did or said.
Their words and gifts helped in ways beyond the comfort of feeling loved. They were often ordinary and usually practical. And they were things I’d usually never considered before. Flower-givers, casserole-makers and card-senders are equally important, don’t get me wrong, but I’m going to share some less than obvious ways you can help your grieving friends.
The tricky thing is, grieving people are so weird. It’s such an individual thing — what we need, what we want, how we feel — all so different from one another and also likely to change in the blink of an eye. It can be really hard to know what to do, so people often tiptoe around, feeling helpless. They often say, “Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”
I’ve said it myself to grieving friends and family, but I will rephrase my condolences from now on, because now I know. The truth is, I wasn’t able to think about what I needed from all of the helpers offering their assistance the first month. And by the time I had regained half a brain, most of the helpers were gone.
As it turns out, grief lasts longer than sympathy — way longer.
I feel bad for all the people who wanted to help right away because I didn’t know what I needed. I don’t blame them for moving on when I wasn’t able to give them instructions. I mean how many times should they need to ask? I would’ve moved on too….before. But now, because grief has changed me, I’ve learned a few things.
If you’re a friend to someone who’s experiencing loss and you’re just not sure what to say or do, here’s a list of 13 ideas:
Write something personal in the sympathy card
My favorites involved lovely, often funny stories about my husband. Sure, they made me cry, but the personal stories brought me comfort. Realizing people actually knew my husband and would miss him too was reassuring. Plus they provided more memories I could call upon later.
2. Gift cards to restaurants
It was almost three months before I could do more than prepare a bowl of cereal or toast for my family, and even that felt overwhelming. The freezer was bursting at the seams but defrosting things and turning on the oven? More than I could handle.
3. Paper goods
Toilet paper, paper plates, paper towels, Kleenex, napkins, food storage bags, etc. There’s lots of people, and even more food when someone dies. There’s no time for doing dishes and not enough Tupperware in the cupboard to handle it all. And also, who has time to run to the store for toilet paper when you’re grieving? Plus, there are people at the store and they might ask how you’re doing and no. Just NO to that for a while. Too much.
4. Breath mints
Do you know what happens when you cry a lot and are running on emotional fumes? Bad breath, that’s what. I honestly don’t even know if I brushed my teeth those first weeks, which is totally gross, but who knows? It’s a grief mystery. All of the hugging and having to talk close-up makes this a gift that keeps on giving.
5. Postage stamps
I received a few sympathy cards containing stamps. Thank you! Because running out to buy a stamp was a tiny bit not even on my priority list. These same beautiful people usually wrote their name and address and what they gave inside the card (so I didn’t have to!) and also gave me a free pass on sending them a thank you.
6. Less talk, more listen
Listening is probably the most underappreciated gift, yet one of the most valuable. It’s especially an excellent choice when you’re just not sure what to say. Don’t feel bad, most people don’t. It’s just as awkward for you as it is for me.
7. Things to occupy the kids
Books, toys, craft kits, Legos, board games, movie theater gift cards — all of these types of things helped give my kids something to do while their Mom was distracted and unavailable. It’s awkward for kids to have a bunch of adults invade their house when they’re craving a sliver of “normal.”
8. Things kids will actually eat
Granola bars, cereal, juice boxes, Lunchables, fruit, frozen waffles, etc. The truth is, kids just don’t appreciate a green bean casserole. They did, however, eat up the kid-friendly food that was delivered. And that, in turn, helped me. When my son asked me one evening, “Mom, are you going to feed us tonight?” (don’t judge — grief is hard), I had things I could feed them that didn’t require thought.
9. Gift cards for retail therapy
Sometimes the greatest gifts aren’t practical gifts. It took many, many weeks before this was fully appreciated, but it turns out when you’re ready to take that first step forward out of grief, a new outfit really helps.
10. Rescuing the kids
If you’re close enough to the family, rescuing the kids from grief-central is so kind and gives them something else to think about for a minute. Taking them for a walk, to a movie, playing with them somewhere other than where all the grief is happening is an amazing gift. It also eased my guilt about not spending time with them because I had to be on the phone handling post-death details.
11. Touch base regularly
I have one friend who set an alarm on her phone to remind her to check-in with me via text message every day. It’s not as frequent now, but she’s still checking in. Some days I had the energy to reply, some days I didn’t, but every time I appreciated knowing someone was still thinking about me. It took less energy than a phone call too, which I appreciated. And for the love, please don’t stop doing this after a few months have passed. Do it a year or two later too!
12. Extra Grace
This should really be at the top of this list. I can’t speak for other grievers, but the most inappropriate things flew out of my mouth the first month — especially at the funeral. I think I told everyone in the condolences line (is that what it’s called?) that my husband’s funeral was the best funeral EVER! (Seriously?!) Sorry about that — and also probably my bad breath.
There are so many more ways you can bless your grieving people. These are just some of the ways. The traditional ways are still beautiful, loving and helpful methods too, so don’t feel badly if that’s what you do. But don’t we always wonder how we can help someone that’s hurting in real, tangible and even more useful ways? The things I found ridiculously helpful may not resonate the same way with another person. Grief is so tricky, isn’t it?! Just do your best. We grievers can give extra grace too. And if we don’t, forgive us. We don’t mean it.
13. Prayer
Prayer deserves a huge shout-out. Sometimes that’s the best thing to say. “I’m so sorry and I’m praying for you.” But mean it.
Nothing is more powerful than prayer…paired with a hug or shared cry…and maybe some chocolate. Because after a few weeks, food doesn’t taste like cardboard anymore and chocolate becomes necessary.
Showing up, in whatever way you can is what really matters most. If you know someone hurting after loss, just show up in the ways you’re most equipped and realize it’s going to be awkward. Awkward is ok — it’s just part of it, so please don’t let it stop you. There’s a place for everyone at the grief table; the Kleenex givers, the huggers AND the casserole makers.
I'm writing to ask you to ponder taking your prayer life to the next level. Last March my friend, Paula, sent me a book called OPERATING IN THE COURTS OF HEAVEN by Robert Henderson. In fact, Paula told me the story of why she sent me the book. It's quite interesting.
Paula was having a hard time falling asleep one night about a year ago. She kept praying to Father to help her to relax and slip into dreamland as she had work the next day. He kept refusing to let my friend fall asleep. Finally she asked Him why. Father told Paula that she had to get up; go to her computer; order a copy of Robert's book; and have Amazon send it to me. Once she did this, she was sound asleep and completely rested the next morning.
After I read the book, Paula asked if I would be her prayer partner in the courts of Heaven. WOW--we were both novices and not quite certain about the process of getting charges against us removed from our life's books. We began quite timidly but the Judge is VERY patient and loving!! He showed us many things about how to win in court!!!
You see, if we have charges of sins in our books in Heaven (these can be inherited from our ancestors unrepentant sins), the enemy can use these charges to torment us!! By repenting of all the sins involved; asking for Jesus' blood to cover all of the sins we (or our ancestors) committed; and then asking for the charges to be removed from our books THEN things change in the physical realm and only then.
What an amazing wild ride it's been. Many times Paula's and my eyes are wide with wonder as we get this glimpse into the proceedings in Heaven's court. All I can say is that this truly works!! We are not the same helpless people we were a year ago. THANK GOD!!
I hope that I have opened your curiosity enough to watch this video. It features Robert Henderson who was given this information by God Himself as Robert prayed for his son. I pray that many will begin to use the Courts of Heaven to disarm the enemy's attacks in their lives and their families. Go for it!!
A number of my special friends celebrated their birthdays recently. I did so also.
I was just thinking about how even birthday celebrations came under our scrutiny when we were raising our children. We wanted to make absolutely certain that what we were teaching our little ones had a Biblical foundation.
Many things changed in our lives during those years such as the day we worshipped on; discarding holidays which weren't sacred; wearing and then not wearing the head covering; which foods we eat; using natural healing methods; choosing to home school; even where we lived and what we did for a living.
A number of our fellow home schooling parents chose to discard birthdays at that time. We pondered this even as our children kept dying to miscarriages. We sought the Lord's will about honoring our births and found no reason for us to throw out birthdays with the bath water. I know that others have come to other conclusions and I respect that. However, we know that God leads each family where He wants them to be in all areas of our lives--physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
I'm sad to say that some friends did not wish to affiliate with us as we made these changes in our family. We decided to take one day a year to thank God for our special family members. Others did not wish to do that in their families. That's fine. What was hurtful was when solid Christian believers refused to communicate with us on the basis of things we DID or DID NOT discard. BIG SIGH!! I will write a disclaimer that ONE Christian family came to us saying that they were hoping we'd agree to disagree with them and they left our community with peace between us. Thanks much Hamiltons!
We kept following the Lord's plan for our family acknowledging that His plan for other families IS different than what He has planned for ours. What right do we have to judge His plan for another family? Even more necessary to ponder--what right do we have to reject other families if God's plan for them isn't just like what He has planned for us?
It is in this spirit of openness that I share the article that Father just asked me to read. I think it is VERY well written but others may not agree. I see often how satan uses these differing plans God has for families to divide and conquer the communion our Father in Heaven desires for us. How this must grieve the heart of our Father who loves all of us and who has a plan for EVERY SINGLE LIFE to be fulfilled and happy.
I pray that the article below blesses everyone who has taken the time to read my thoughts today. To all who have birthdays around the holidays, I wish a very blessed belated birthday greeting. If you are following Christ, you're not getting older--YOU'RE GETTING BETTER!!
Answer: There is no prohibition against a Christian celebrating birthdays in Scripture, nor is there anything to indicate we are required to celebrate them. Scripturally speaking, a Christian’s celebrating a birthday is a non-issue. The Bible does mention two individuals celebrating birthdays: the Egyptian Pharaoh in Joseph’s time (Genesis 40:20), and King Herod in Jesus’ time (Matthew 14:6; Mark 6:21). Some point to these references as evidence that celebrating birthdays is wrong; since both men were non-believing individuals, their birthday celebrations are seen as some form of pagan ritual. However, that conclusion is not readily drawn from either passage. The Bible does not even hint that it was wrong for Pharaoh or Herod to celebrate his birthday. Neither does Scripture anywhere discourage a Christian from celebrating a birthday.
In his epistle to the Romans, Paul addresses the issue of which day should be the day of worship, but perhaps we could also apply this to Christian birthday celebrations: “One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord” (Romans 14:5–6). If a Christian celebrates a birthday as a special day, that’s all right; if a believer does not celebrate birthdays, that’s all right, too. Let each be “fully convinced in his own mind.”
Of greater importance than whether or not a Christian celebrates birthdays is how he or she glorifies the Lord in all activities (1 Corinthians 10:31). If a Christian throws a birthday party, the party should glorify the Lord; sinful behavior should not be part of a birthday celebration. If a Christian skips birthdays, he or she should fill his time with things that glorify the Lord.
Whether or not a Christian celebrates a birthday, he should strive for a clear conscience and love of his brothers and sisters in Christ. Those who celebrate birthdays should not despise those who don’t, and those who don’t celebrate birthdays should not look down on those who do. As with all issues not specifically addressed in Scripture, we have the freedom to celebrate or not celebrate birthdays, according to personal preference.Recommended Resource: Balancing the Christian Life by Charles Ryrie
I was buzzing around here this morning working on preparing for Shabbat. I have some sessions to finish up before Sabbath gets here. I laid out a roast to thaw for our Sabbath feast. There's the usual house cleaning and finishing up the week's laundry. I wondered if I'd have enough time to make a pie for my guys.
I was minding my own business when the Lord ran this song through my day as I was listening to Rejoice Radio. Anyone who knows me knows that I have a soft spot in my heart for this group--- the Booth Brothers. In my opinion, nobody writes songs and sings them like these men of God. Their music has blessed my life in countless ways.
So I came here to the computer and found it on YouTube and listened to and watched this video. How could I not weep for families who are going through this? Yet another part of me, the professional part, the Certified BodyTalk Practitioner part, was unnerved by the fact that so many people don't know about BodyTalk--or don't trust it and don't use it.
My brain was damaged worse than this woman's featured in the song when I developed shingles there in the Summer of 2006. My head bobbed like one of those toy dogs people used to have in their cars. I couldn't remember anything I had said just moments before. Now, 12 years later, I see clients every day and do highly complex mental functions to help them to heal. What happened to cause this change?
What happened is that my naturopathic doctor nudged me in the direction of BodyTalk. Although she helped me survive the first year of shingles on the brain, I was getting worse. I needed a more rapid healing system and God led me to the BodyTalk system. Every day now I get to see brains healing and then the body follows. Every day I get to see people relax as they can think and as they move through their days. People feel more competent and, therefore, more confident!
Although this Booth Brothers song touched my heart, it also moved my pen. Folks, this does NOT have to happen!!!!!!!!!!!! Brains can heal and then they can heal bodies. I'm writing with good news that God is blessing the world with many wonderful natural healing systems that are inexpensive and, better yet, THEY WORK!!!
As you begin 2019, I urge everyone to get in the habit of tapping out your cortices. I normally don't get out of bed without first tapping out my cortices. By connecting the 2 sides of my brain, it is able to work as the unit it's made to be. Stresses of all kinds cause the communication between the 2 hemispheres of our noodle to weaken. This is when problems begin. Had I known how to do cortices in 2006, I doubt that I'd have laid for 18 days at a healing center doing bee venom therapy!
So, here it is dear reader, the very best gift I could possibly give to you. Here is the founder of the BodyTalk system explaining how to hook up your brain. Do it often. Do cortices every time you can't remember something. Do it when you're in pain. Do it before a test or job interview and you'll be your best possible you.
So, although I love the Booth Brothers with all my heart, it's Dr. John Veltheim's BodyTalk system that saved my life as I struggled over a year to recover from shingles on the brain. He's the hero God used to save my life!! Thanks forever, Dr. Veltheim!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I pray that you'll open your mind to God's method of healing for you this year! I know several awesome ones and would be happy to help you with them as I have been trained to work on folks from a distance.
Although I would love to work with EVERYONE, that seems unlikely to happen any time soon. I am happy, though, to know that there are incredible natural practitioners all around the world. I would urge you to pray to our loving Heavenly Father for whom He would have you turn to for help if you're sick.
It seems wise to advise seeking out a Christian to work with!! Christian practitioners hear from God how to help the person lying on their table. It's the bonus we have to offer our clients that non-Christians can't. I pray before every session that I give to someone and so do many other practitioners that I know. I know I'm super thankful for every Christian practitioner that the Lord has led me to when I asked Him for advice. They're why I'm still alive! I praise the Lord often for His marvelous healing tools!!
To Dr. John Veltheim--founder of the BodyTalk system of healing--MY HERO!!
