Dad's new home

If you are a regular reader on Cora's blog, then you already know that my dad is moved into his new Winter home. I still want to write about that day, though, as it was a big day in my life too.

On December 29th, the boys and I headed down to Eureka, SD (my home town) to meet with 4 of the staff members from their Assisted Living Facility. It was very much a Winter day and I'd much rather have stayed at home where it was toasty warm. I did a BodyTalk session on my dad on the way down, to help him with the transition, as Andrew drove quickly down to the meeting.

My brother, Duard, and his wife, Sharel were at the meeting too and had brought dad up to the meeting. I found dad calmly chatting with the pretty nurses, so he seemed in good spirits. This is the conference room where they meet with family members. We were told that we can reserve this room for family gatherings and have them cook our meals (if we let them know in advance) for the price of $5.10 per meal. I'm not sure why the 10 cents is necessary but that's the way it is. These ladies are the nurses from the hospital which has been moved upstairs. The facility where the residents live actually was the hospital which I was a patient in several times in the "Olden days." Nowdays one of the nurses goes through every 2 hours at night to check on the residents.

When the hospital quit having births, they moved the hospital upstairs and converted the main floor into this assisted living facility. It REALLY is quite spacious and VERY nicely decorated. I felt my spirits lifting as the ladies went over what the facility has to offer the elderly to help get them back on their feet--and then keep them there.

After the nurses shared what they have to offer, they went over the list of things that they expect from their residents. They expect Dad to eat his meals with the group in the dining room which is GREAT. He's had 8 months of eating alone and frankly, he's not eating one bit healthy. Dad is expected to participate in their group exercise every morning and the group activity in the afternoon. In fact, a resident can be asked to leave if they do not participate in group activities--they were quite serious about this. I sighed a deep sigh of relief when Dad said that he would "Give it a whirl for the winter." Here he's signing the admission papers.

I enjoyed seeing the nurses dealing with dad. He'd been lazy that morning and hadn't shaved. They said, "We'll let it slide today and then, after that, you get one warning, Harvey."

"Then what?" my dad asked.

"You DON'T WANT TO KNOW," the nurses teased but they made it clear that dad WILL keep himself clean, neat, and respectable at all times. HOW WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After the papers were signed, the nurses gave us a tour of the facility. This is the waiting room. I remember sitting on these wretchedly awful straight chairs in that very room when I was a girl and my parents were visiting somebody in the hospital. Can this be the SAME PLACE? Everyone is heading into the dining room.

Three times a day the residents gather here for their meals. In between times, they can come here for a glass of milk or juice or a light snack kept in the refrigerator. That day the snack in the frig was veggie pizza--YUMMMMMM. I made sure that Dad understood that he is NOT to drink directly out of the jug in THIS refrigerator--the nurses agreed wholeheartedly. :) Dad also has a small refrigerator in his room for moments when walking half way down the hallway is just too far to go for a drink of OJ. I don't suppose anyone will yell at him if he drinks out of THAT jug. :)

Right outside the dining room, we found this bulletin board. I guess they always have some little item here where residents can give small gifts to each other if they so desire. Not that dad lives there, there are 11 little stockings.

This is also where the schedule is posted for their group activities. I noticed that they have singers come in at times to do hymn sings with the residents. I asked if they would ever want US to do so or to bring our puppets in for the residents. OH YES--WE ARE VERY WELCOME TO DO SO!!!!!! They have a grand old upright piano in the corner for just such purposes. :)

When we got to Dad's new room, his new neighbor came over to greet us. LO AND BEHOLD, THIS WOMAN JUST HAPPENED TO BE OUR NEIGHBOR OUT ON THE FARM WHEN ROBERT AND I WERE NEWLYWEDS!!!!! This woman taught me to save seeds and was a wonderful neighbor to us! Next month she turns 99 years old and is in better shape than dad is. I'm so hoping that living in this place will be as good for Dad as it was for Mary who has lived there 6 years already.

This is Dad's room. It has a toilet in a spacious bathroom. We put a cabinet in there for him to store his laundry supplies--everyone in the building does their own laundry instead of paying someone else to do it. The frig is sitting on top of it. This is Sharel, Dad, Duard, and Bonnie who is one of the nurses in charge of the program.

This is the community shower. Each person has a time slot of their choice which they are expected to use daily. I wonder what Dad will think of such a waste of water? :)

Dad checking out the laundry room while Andrew and Lettie, the other nurse in charge of the program, look on.

This room is the beauty shop. :) The nurse said that Dad can ask any barber in town to come up there and cut his hair. He asked if his "Girl," would come up there to give him a haircut and they said, "Oh yes, she comes up here all the time." How's THAT for service? See the hymnals along the wall? They're for the hymn sings any time that they can get a pianist to play for them. :)

Well, once it was all agreed on, we took dad to his house and proceeded to take it apart. He needed a twin bed which is the one thing that he didn't have. Sharel told me that they had already ordered one with a built-in headboard that would be delivered the next day.

Dad needed his recliner; some lamps; a small table and chair; his laundry things; his clothes; and personal care items. My nephew, Cody, came over and we hustled. Within a few hours, everything was up in the room and the house looked like Swiss Cheese. I regretted that I didn't have time to make it look a little more homey, but there was no time, as we needed to get home for chores.

I did a load of laundry and Sharel came downstairs to talk about what else needed to be done. We decided that the best thing to do would be to empty the refrigerator. Just before we left, then, I went through the frig and threw out everything that had green growing on it. Then I sorted off what dad wanted to take up to his room and the rest we loaded up and brought home.

This was a VERY hard time for me. I was crying in Dad's basement, after I started the washing machine, when Sharel came in. I wished that I'd had more time to think it all over but I knew instinctively that if we didn't move him when he was willing to go, that we'd regret it later on. I said to her, "Some day you and I are going to have to go through everything that is in this house." We both groaned but I knew that somehow the Lord would give me the strength when that day comes.

The boys and I ate supper with my dad and then took a few more things up to dad's room. Andrew took this picture of Jacob and I in the group's living room. It all is very pretty and, for an institution, it is very homey. I didn't realize, until I looked at this picture later, how stressful the whole day was for me. I was STRESSED OUT but was stuffing it for dad's sake!!!!!!

After this, we visited with Mary a little longer; drove 80 miles home; and carried in the contents of Dad's refrigerator. When everyone went out to the barn for night chores, I tried so hard to make myself go out to the barn after I'd washed up the milking supplies. I walked over to the barn closet and looked at my barn clothes. That's when the alarm went off in my head which I got used to listening to in '06. It said, "You've had enough stress for one day, Dawn."

Then I went over to the food and decided that I should at least be useful enough and put the food away. I started looking through the 4 boxes of things when the alarm got louder. I literally do hear an alarm in my head when I've reached the limits of my endurance. I listened to it for 4 months in '06 when I had a freight train running through my brain constantly night and day.

Finally I LISTENED to the alarm and went into the whirlpool room and started filling the water. Even with a wonderful, long soak that night, the next morning I felt as though the freight train had run over me. Still, there was a peace that I'd not had in 8 months since mom's death. I did Access on myself; popped 2Tylenol; and headed to work in my office in Bismarck. All that day I noticed that a most glorious calm was starting to seep into my spirit. It grew and grew all day and hope started to enter in where the despair had been. GLORY!!!

That wonderful peace has stayed and I know that the reason is because DAD IS IN A SAFE PLACE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! As hard as it was for him to leave his home, his new home is a very nice place! Now he's with other people who use walkers when they need them; who exercise daily while sitting on the couch; who need to sleep 12 hours a night; and whose children were getting stressed out by having them alone in their homes after their spouses died. Besides all of that, he can come and go as he pleases! What could be better?????

PRAISE THE LORD FOR DAD'S NEW HOME!!!!!!!!! I'm sending many thanks to all of you who prayed for him to get over the hump of mom's sudden death. God bless!

Dawn