Changes

Did you ever notice that making changes in our lives is hard?  DA--I can hear some of you thinking, but we really truly do NOT naturally enjoy making changes in our lives.  I just remembered an article that I read in my massage therapists office 24 years ago, when my marriage was on the fritz and the first farm that we had invested in was near bankruptcy. 

  This article stated that a mentally healthy individual will welcome changes in their life--actually SEEK THEM OUT!  I thought this guy was insane as I was sure that everyone else in my life was to blame for my misery and I was nothing but a victim with no personal power to change anything.  The truth is, because I thought that way about myself, I truly WAS powerless.  I praise God that HE intervened in my life in a big way and helped me begin the life of personal growth that has shaped the woman that I am today.

  So what all has changed for me over the past 24 years, you may be wondering.  I truly haven't thought about it until this moment so I will begin the list and perhaps add to it later.  You can analyze, along with me, if the changes that I've made were truly good--meaning better than if I hadn't made the changes

1.  I own my own farm instead of working for my father-in-law for $300 a month milking 160 cows.

2.  I have 3 children instead of only 1.  Plus I have 17 waiting for me in Heaven.

3.  I am a home school mother.  This thinking would never have happened if I hadn't left the town where I was so abused.

4.  I have my own health care business instead of running to the doctors and being sick all the time. 

5.  I now write my thoughts here for the whole world to read instead of keeping everything locked up inside of me until I feel like I will explode.

6.  I cook with natural healthy foods instead of buying everything from the grocery store.  I use the meat from our farm; the milk from sweet Sally and/or the goats; the vegetables from our garden; and we make bread from our organic wheat that we grew here at SEEDS OF HONOR. 

7.  My children are disciplined workers of the soil instead of spoiled brats like we noticed when we lived in the city.

8.  WE DON'T OWN A TV!!!!!!!!!!!

9.  My joys are found here at home instead of running to meetings; endless church activities; and countless singing engagements.  I truly did enjoy those things then but I see now that I was using them to escape the pain inside of me.

10.  I start and end every day with cortices in addition to my prayers.

11.  I no longer hate potato salad.  I always wondered why I hated it but during one of my sessions I remembered making potato salad just hours before a molestation.  Now I enjoy it IF I make it myself and I am more open to other people's than I have ever been before.

12.  I no longer sleep with my rifle if Robert stays overnight with the truck somewhere.  Don't get me wrong, it's still within several feet of where I'm sleeping, but it doesn't have to be right on the bed with me.  One thing that hasn't changed is my strong desire for EVERY law abiding citizen to own one AND to know what to do with it if they are ever attacked. 

13.  I now own a whirlpool which is, next to God and BodyTalk, my best friend when I have too much stress pain in my neck and shoulders.  In fact, I'm going there now.  Yesterday was quite a stressful day with Jacob buying a pickup; Robert NOT buying one; and Andrew in Fargo helping to gain Dr. Ron Paul delegates in the NINE district conventions all taking place at the same time. 

14.  I survived a deadly illness.  Instead of dreading illnesses, like I used to, I ward them off before they get out of hand with the skills that God has given me.  There's something wonderful about being able to say that the thing you most dreaded is in the past! 

One thing that hasn't changed is my love for God who has sustained me through it all.  I'm talking about the God of the Bible; the creator of Heaven and Earth; the one who sees every sparrow fall; and the one who loves even me.  Well, I guess, if I think a little deeper here, I can see that, YES, even this has changed.  MY LOVE FOR GOD HAS GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN EVEN LARGER!!

Happy Sabbath to all,

Dawn

PS.  I did think of a #15 after all--I got a PASSPORT and have actually flown on an airplane all by
myself internationally!  Here I am in Winnipeg at a BodyTalk class on Kintyre Street which is the name of the little village I can see from my window.  So you see, all things are possible to those who believe IF they are willing to make changes--but then, why not?