It's coming back

  Perhaps it was during all of those miscarriage years, that it happened.  It might have been dealing with cancer or shingles on my brain but sometime in the past 2 decades I lost my voice.  );

  God gave me a beautiful singing voice and I am so glad that He did.  That's probably why I was able to survive my childhood.  Eating my mother's cooking and singing with my parents were the only 2 things that I remember being praised for.  Well, other than working.................

  I didn't notice that I had lost my voice so much when Michael and Cora asked me to sing for their wedding.  That's probably because Michael's sister played the piano for me as I sang.  Some of my childhood family members and I used to sing a LOT while I still lived at home!  It was so much fun to hear the close harmony and to feel somewhat like a family must feel!

  Well, I sure knew it when I was rehearsing to sing at Andrew and Marie's wedding.  I knew that I had lost my voice somewhere.  I COULDN'T STAND THE SOUND COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH!!!  I remember calling Elizabeth crying because I had agreed to sing for my son's wedding and now I knew that I sounded like crap!!!  How could I do that to my son?  How could I sing for his wedding knowing that my voice was GONE!!!!

  Well, I did LOTS of energy work on myself before the big day and, I have to admit, that I didn't sound as terrible as I was sure that I would.  PRAISE THE LORD!!!! 

  Still, after I was home again, I knew that I had sung for the last time in public.  I clearly remember saying at the supper table, which now seated only Robert, Jacob, and myself, that I had sung for the last time in public.

  You have to imagine my surprise when Jacob blurted out, "THANKS A LOT, MOM!" 

  I had to ponder this a little bit.  What was he saying?  Had Jacob opened up his mind to the thought of getting married some day?  Would he really WANT me to sing at his wedding when I no longer had a "Singing for weddings"  voice? 

  That moment changed me. 

  Jacob deserved his mother to sing at his wedding too!!

  I sang at both of his siblings weddings, as I had sung for dozens of weddings before theirs.  Why couldn't I sing at Jacob's wedding too?  Why couldn't I get my voice back?

  That was the start of it.

  Then one day I was talking with a close friend and suddenly I wanted to sing again.  I recall vividly that I told Paula, "I think I'm going to get my voice back."  She laughed and said, "God told me that you were going to get your voice back some day."

  Then, one day shortly after that, when I was doing dishes, I started to sing like I used to do before my health deteriorated so badly that no music came out of my mouth.  I just sang along with the music I was listening to, most likely the Booth Brothers, and my voice was there.  It was strong for just a few moments, but I heard it.  I'm crying now to think that this could happen to me.  Aren't washed up singers washed up?

 This morning a friend asked for suggestions of songs to use at their family fun days.  She wanted the group to sing songs that they enjoy and quick as a wink I wrote to her that she could lead the group in the praise chorus, LORD I LIFT YOUR NAME ON HIGH!

  Then, I had to look it up.

  Then I had to listen to it.

  Then I had to share it with you all.

  Then I sang along.

  TEARS OF JOY.

  I heard my powerful voice as I sang praises to my King!!!  I heard it strong and clear like when I was young. 

  How can this be?

  All I can think is that, if the Father wants me to sing again, I'LL SING--even if it's just to Him in my kitchen. 

  LORD I LIFT YOUR NAME ON HIGH!!!!!!!!!!!

  Dawn

  

Appleseed instructors

Over the past 9 years, I have been privileged to attend many Appleseed shoots!  Each one was an incredible experience!! Each one made me a better person IE less wimpy; more determined; more vocal concerning my rights; more supported by the incredible people who attend and who lead; PLUS I'm a better shot!!

We have had some stupendous shoot bosses namely Alex from Iowa; Kyle from Minnesota; Chris from North Dakota; Steve from Texas; Alex from Minnesota; Jonathan from North Dakota; Tom from Pennsylvania; Dr Rich from Illinois; and now our very own, Andrew Bornemann from North Dakota!!  YAY TO YOU ALL!!!  Also a shout out to Paul, our newest Instructor in training, and to all of the shooters who have filled our firing lines over the years.  You're all WINNERS!!!!!

Lest you think that it is an easy task to become an Instructor with the Appleseed program, I am enclosing these details from their website.  As you read through this, you will come to see the tremendous responsibility that lies on the shoulders of a shoot boss. 

Many people with many firearms must be watched constantly.  Safety is the number 1 concern!  It's that simple.

There's much to be taught and much to learn and it's exciting beyond measure to be a part of a firing line for freedom.  As I think of the attacks that we're having in our world these days, knowing how to shoot a firearm, and how to shoot it well becomes even more significant!

Here's the requirements for all who enter as a leader with the Appleseed program.  There's no pay except the joy of seeing the light of freedom burning brightly in the shooters.  In fact, many of those I've mentioned above, traveled at their own expense to keep the program growing and well.  THESE ARE TRUE HEROES TO ME!!!

If you want to meet someone who loves freedom; who cares about keeping people safe; who conquers their own fears to become a leader; I urge you to attend an Appleseed near you this Summer!

SHOOTERS--YOUR PREPARATION PERIOD BEGINS NOW!!!

I can hardly wait and I'm hoping to inspire YOU to attend a shoot this Summer!

Dawn

The Project Appleseed™ Instructor

Part teacher. Part storyteller.

B
Becoming a Project Appleseed instructor isn’t easy, but it does offer its own unique set of rewards. After all, shooting instruction is only part of the job. The other part is being able to reconnect students with the people and events that helped shape our country, along with the ideals we all hope to preserve from that time.
To become instructor eligible for Project Appleseed, a shooter must attend at least two Appleseeds and achieve a score of 210 or better on the Appleseed Qualification Test (AQT) while shooting from multiple positions. If it’s determined that a potential candidate has the skills and temperament to become an Appleseed instructor, he or she may receive the “orange hat” of an Instructor-in-Training. Then the fun really begins.
Project Appleseed is only as good as its instructors. For that reason, it takes a lot for an individual to earn the coveted instructor’s “Red Hat.” As everyone who attends an Appleseed event quickly learns, the training and hands-on experience of Appleseed instructors result in an experience and level of excellence that’s hard to find anywhere else!

Instructor Boot Camp

An Instructor Boot Camp (IBC) concentrates on teaching instructors and potential instructors how to teach at an Appleseed. The emphasis is on how to teach — not how to shoot. Each student at an IBC should already know the fundamentals of how to shoot. If you’re interested in a fast track to instructor status, think about attending one of our upcoming IBCs.

Register for an IBC

Instructor Training Requirements for Project Appleseed

• Pass a series of five written, oral and hands-on tests.
• Mastery of RWVA Instructor Manual and other training materials.
• Understudy other instructors at a minimum of five Appleseeds.
• Perform selected teaching duties under the supervision of a full instructor including telling the three-part history of the events of April 19, 1775.
• Mastery of Appleseed’s safety protocols including running a safe line.
• Demonstrating an exact knowledge of Appleseed’s instructional method, including the proper positions, steady hold factors, natural point of aim, rifleman’s cadence, and the six steps of firing a shot.

Appleseed Shoot for Patriots

In today’s world of 24-hour news cycles, changing technologies, and push-button gratification, it’s a challenge to stay connected to the values that our great country was built on. Ideals like integrity, commitment, and personal responsibility are what our founding fathers relied on to win our independence and to then make America a great nation. At Project Appleseed™, we’re dedicated to keeping these timeless values alive. We promote civic responsibility through the teaching of colonial history and the American tradition of rifle marksmanship. Even after all of these years, there is much to be learned from our forefathers’ examples of perseverance, commitment, and civic virtue. With a full calendar of shooting clinics and events, Project Appleseed is here to make sure these timeless principles live on for generations to come.

Skilled Marksmanship: An American Tradition

You can’t write the story of America without including several chapters about the skill and bravery of our forefathers. On April 19, 1775, at Lexington and Concord, American colonists stood with muskets in hand and faced down the British forces that were trying to seize their arms. The colonists did it with grit, determination, and superior marksmanship. They were real marksmen: nobly and ably putting their skills on the line in pursuit of liberty.

We are the descendants of those fearless men and women who earned our freedom on the battlefield. We honor their pursuit of liberty by passing along the skills and knowledge that aided them in securing it. Today’s Rifleman understands that owning and mastering a rifle is part of his/her American heritage. Whether you’re a new shooter or a seasoned marksman, Project Appleseed can help transform you from a person with a rifle into a principled and skilled Rifleman.

OK OK so I copied this from the Appleseed website.  Why not?  Why try to reinvent the wheel?  So what I"m saying is this: IT'S APPLESEED TIME AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you live near us, join us here on June 16th and 17th for 2 great days of community building shooting together.  I dare you to join us on the firing line! 

If you're not anywhere near us, then look for a shoot near you.  Bring a friend with you and improve your shooting together.  If you don't have any shooting friends, we'll be your friend.  All you need is a desire to improve your shooting; to become a better citizen; and to make new friends who love our country as much as you do!

See YOU on the firing line in June!!

Dawn

Newest twist

When a person has been ill most of their life, as I have, you keep searching for the underlying causes for what is causing the problem.  My friend, Ed says, "We have to find the cause behind the cause behind the cause....."  

Ed is right.

There is something wrong with me.  I have found a way to live mostly peaceably with MS.  I have learned to support my heart in the way that it needs me to.  I have many tools that help me maintain my emotional health.  I dare not go a day without doing Lumosity if I want to be able to function as a practitioner, which I do, so I fight the mental decline of MS with that tool.

 That aside, there is something wrong with me!  My daughter said not too long ago, "What is it that keeps you from getting well?  Why is it that things that help others only help you for a little while if at all?"  Yes, INDEED.

 Well, I think that I may have been led to the answer to that question.  As I read this article, I felt tingles going up and down my spine.  When I read this statement, I had the first real hope that I've had for a recovery in over a decade.  When this goes undiagnosed and untreated it becomes very challenging for these individuals to ever get well despite the use of holistic therapies.  Most will struggle with their health throughout their life and never find any long-term answers.  BULLS-EYE!

This explains why I could have this issue.  Pyroluria is a genetic condition that is typically related to familial alcoholism and/or environmental toxicity.  If an individual has a family history of alcoholism they may very well have this genetic mutation.  It can be induced with childhood trauma or a chronic infection early in life.  The onset usually begins in the late teens and is often triggered by a traumatic life event.

So, I've got a genetic condition from my parents who both have alcoholism in their family lines.  Several close family members were/are alcoholics.  I recall my collage days hearing my subconscious mind warning me to keep away from alcohol as I had the capability for alcoholism.

 As for the traumatic life event, which one should I mention?  I guess none of them but, if you've read here for any length of time, you get the picture.

 So, I did it!

 I ordered the test for pyroluria from http://drjockers.com/pyroluria-testing/.  Yesterday I took a sample and sent it to the lab who tests for pyroluria.  The results will go to Dr. Jockers who will make recommendations based on the presence and the severity of this hidden enemy in my life.

 I know that I need to do more tapping on this.  It seems sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo unfair that after surviving an alcholic home, with all of it's abuses, I ended up with this enemy!!!  I've been in pain (physical, mental, emotional) for so long that I can't remember when I wasn't hurting.  Could I FINALLY have come face to face with that underlying monster that is making all remedies only band-aids for a few minutes; a few hours; or a few days at the very best?

 I'm sharing this with you all in case you are one of the many who are dealing with this without knowing about it.  Please take the Pyroluria Questionnaire which is listed below.  If you answer at least 15 of these with a yes, then I urge you to contact Dr. Jockers for a test kit.  

 I'll let you know my test results as soon as I hear.  In the meantime, I'll be reading all I can find on this and share if I find any more helpful information.  

If this sounds like something that you have been dealing with, the very first step I would urge you to take is to forgive everyone whose alcoholism has messed with your happiness.  We forgive for US!

 Hugs, 

Dawn

 

Pyroluria: The Most Common Unknown Disorder

Pyroluria, also called Malvaria, is a unique metabolic condition that is very rarely recognized in both the medical and natural health world.   Some researchers in the orthomolecular medicine and orthomolecular psychiatry believe that up to 10% of the population has this metabolic condition (1).  It is considered by many in the functional medicine world the most common unknown disorder.  Pyrolurics need a specific diet, lifestyle and supplementation program to get well.
Pyroluria is a genetic condition that is typically related to familial alcoholism and/or environmental toxicity.  If an individual has a family history of alcoholism they may very well have this genetic mutation.  It can be induced with childhood trauma or a chronic infection early in life.  The onset usually begins in the late teens and is often triggered by a traumatic life event.

The Symptoms Associated with Pyroluria:

It is estimated that as many as 50% of those with autism, 40% of alcoholics, 70% of schizophrenics, 70% of depressed individuals and 30% of people with ADHD have pyroluria (2, 3).  When this goes undiagnosed and untreated it becomes very challenging for these individuals to ever get well despite the use of holistic therapies.  Most will struggle with their health throughout their life and never find any long-term answers.
The symptoms of pyroluria include chronic anxiety, poor stress tolerance, digestive issues, poor immunity, joint pain, acne or eczema, mood swings and poor short term memory.  These individuals often have difficulty digesting and absorbing protein and they are easily wrecked by increasing stress (4, 5, 6).

Diagnosing Pyroluria:

Pyroluria can be diagnosed through a specific Kryptopyrroles urine test.  Normal amounts of kryptophyrroles in the urine should be less than 20 ug/dl.  Numbers greater than 20 ug/dl would be a positive test for the diagnosis of pyroluria (7).  Many clinicians have found that this number should be less than 15 ug/dl.
The lab that I use for this test measures kryptopyrroles in mcg/dl and the number should be less than 9 mcg/dl.  Anything between 10-15 is considered mild pyroluria, 15-19 is moderate and anything above 20 mcg/dl, we consider a severe case.
Other warning signs you may have this disorder include an inability to remember dreams, hair loss, light, thin pale skin that is prone to stretch marks, white spots on the fingernails and poor tooth enamel (8).
The topic of Pyroluria was discussed in a lot of detail on the Depression Sessions online video series.  You can check this program out here, although it is not airing for free anymore, it is a very low price and well worth the value of the educational videos and transcripts you will receive.

What is Pyroluria:

There are several waste products that are produced when the body makes hemoglobin for the red blood cells.  These waste products are called kryptopyrroles which are technically called hydroxyhemoppyrrolin-2-one (HPL) which are typically excreted by our body.  Individuals with pyroluria are unable to clear the HPL effectively and they build up in the system (9, 10).
The HPL binds strongly to zinc, biotin and vitamin B6 which are critical nutrients for cellular metabolism.   Over a period of time, the body becomes very deficient in these critical nutrients and symptoms arise.  These people will often go years suffering the effects of this disorder despite a clean diet, supplementation and holistic therapies.

Nutrition & Supplementation:

Pyrolurics have a greater need for omega-6 fatty acids than most in our society (11, 12).  They need both arachidonic acid (AA) and Gamma linolenic acid (GLA).  A diet rich in pastured eggs, pasture-fed butter, grass-fed beef and wild game and organ meats supplies the body with significant amounts of essential fats.  These foods are also rich in zinc.
GLA is found in borage oil, evening primrose oil, black current seed oil and hemp oil.  This is typically supplemented with one of these sources as it is hard to get enough in our diet.
These individuals need to supplement with zinc and co-enzymated form of vitamin B6 called P-5-P (13, 14).  A general methyl donating supplement with P-5-P and other methyl donors such as trimethylglycine, methyl-folate, methyl-B12 and riboflavin 5’phosphate sodium is quite effect with this process.
Vitamin B6 is found in seafood, meat and green leafy veggies among other things.  However, the number one way we get B6 into our system is through fiber that our gut microbes break down and produce B6 as a byproduct of their metabolism of the fibers.   Probiotics and fermented foods are also necessary for these individuals to reduce inflammatory gut related stress and heal appropriately.

Lifestyle & Supplements Get Results:

With the right diet, supplementation and stress reduction most pyrolurics see results very quickly.  More severe cases usually experience slow progressive results.  Very stubborn cases are typically having issues with heavy metals or mold toxins.
They will need to remain on this lifestyle with moderate supplementation for the rest of their life or risk symptoms coming back.  Typically, large doses of supplementation is used in the beginning and the individual tapers down to smaller doses as they feel better and have a return to nutrient sufficient status.
Clinically, I use high doses of zinc, methylation support, mitochondrial support (CoQ10, Lipoic Acid, N-Acetyl Cysteine), Probiotics and GLA.

Testing for Zinc and B6 Status:

The easiest way to test for zinc sufficiency is through a zinc tally test.  This is a test done by tasting a liquid zinc supplement.  With zinc sufficiency the liquid tastes awful but those who are deficient in zinc will not taste the liquid supplement.  This is a positive flag for a zinc deficiency.  Blood work could also be done to verify but most experts like the zinc tally test as it is easy and inexpensive.
The subjective test for B6 sufficiency is the return of regular dreaming that the individual can remember.  They don’t have to remember the entire dream but bits and pieces is a sign of sufficiency.  When they are deficient they will typically be unable to remember anything about their dreams (15).

Additional Tips to Know:

Pyrolurics also need to be sure to eat very clean and avoid phytate containing foods such as grains, nuts, legumes and soy.  Phytic acids in these foods bind to major minerals like zinc and render them useless in our body (16).  Soaking and sprouting legumes and nuts reduces the phytate count.
Due to zinc deficient states they are more susceptible to heavy metal toxicity from mercury, cadmium and copper.  When the individual is unable to develop a zinc sufficient state despite very large supplemental usage it is most likely related to heavy metal toxicity.  Special testing can be done for heavy metal levels.
Chronic stress, alcohol consumption, sugar consumption, smoking and pharmaceutical drugs will all further aggravate the symptoms and severity of pyroluria.

Pyroluria Questionnaire:

The following includes the most common symptoms associated with the condition Pyroluria.  If you answer “yes” to 15 or more of these then further testing may be worthwhile:
1. Little or no dream recall
2. White spots on finger nails
3. Poor morning appetite +/- tendency to skip breakfast
4. Morning nausea
5. Pale skin +/- poor tanning +/- burn easy in sun
6. Sensitivity to bright light
7. Hypersensitive to loud noises
8. Reading difficulties (e.g. dyslexia)
9. Poor ability to cope with stress
10.  Mood swings or temper outbursts
11.  Histrionic (dramatic) tendency
12.  Argumentative/enjoy argument
13.  New situations or changes in routine (i.e., traveling) particularly stressful
14.  Much higher capability and alertness in the evening, compared to mornings
15.  Poor short term memory
16.  Abnormal body fat distribution
17.  Belong to an all-girl family with look-alike sisters
18.  Dry skin
19.  Anxiousness
20.  Reaching puberty later than normal
21.  Difficulty digesting, a dislike of protein or a history of vegetarianism
22.  Tendency toward being a loner and/or avoiding larger groups of people
23.  Stretch marks on skin
24.  Poor sense of smell or taste
25.  Feel very uncomfortable with strangers
26.  Frequently experience fatigue
27.  A tendency to overreact to tranquilizers, barbiturates, alcohol or other drugs (in other words, a little produces a powerful response)
28.  A tendency toward anemia
29.  History of mental illness or alcoholism in family
30.  Easily upset by criticism
31.  Sweet smell (fruity odor) to breath or sweat when ill or stressed
32.  Prone to acne, eczema or psoriasis
33.  A tendency toward feeling anxious, fearful and carrying lifelong inner tension
34.  Difficulty recalling past events or people
35.  Bouts of depression or nervous exhaustion
36.  Prone to frequent colds or infections
I have a specific blood test that lets me know if someone is positive for the Pyroluric condition and I have a specialized nutrition and supplement protocol to help these individuals regain their health.

Sources For This Article Include:

1. Nutritional Healing – Pyroluria
2. HOFFER A, OSMOND H. MALVARIA: A NEW PSYCHIATRIC DISEASE. Acta Psychiatr Scand. 1963;39:335-66. PMID: 14078702
3. Gebel L. [Occurrence of the mauve factor in schizophrenia]. Psychiatr Pol. 1973 Mar-Apr;7(2):153-9. Polish. PMID: 4710987
4. HOFFER A, MAHON M. The presence of unidentified substances in the urine of psychiatric patients. J Neuropsychiatr. 1961 Aug;2:331-62. PMID: 13714995
5. HOFFER A. The presence of malvaria in some mentally retarded children. Am J Ment Defic. 1963 Mar;67:730-2. PMID: 13963913
6. Ellman GL, Jones RT, Rychert RC. Mauve spot and schizophrenia. Am J Psychiatry. 1968 Dec;125(6):849-51. PMID: 5698458
7. A Rapid Screening Test for Pyroluria; Useful in Distinguishing a Schizophrenic Subpopulation Link Here
8. Hoffer A. Malvaria and the law. Psychosomatics. 1966 Sep-Oct;7(5):303-10. PMID: 5912644
9. Walker JL. Neurological and behavioral toxicity of kryptopyrrole in the rat. Pharmacol Biochem Behav. 1975 Mar-Apr;3(2):243-50. PMID: 1096175
10. Krischer K, Pfeiffer CC. Biochemical relationship between kryptopyrrole (mauve factor and trans-3-methyl-2-hexenoic acid (schizophrenia odor). Res Commun Chem Pathol Pharmacol. 1973 Jan;5(1):9-15. PMID: 4686114
11. Heleniak EP, Lamola SW. A new prostaglandin disturbance syndrome in schizophrenia: delta-6-pyroluria. Med Hypotheses. 1986 Apr;19(4):333-8. PMID: 3520252
12. Horrobin DF, Huang YS. Schizophrenia: the role of abnormal essential fatty acid and prostaglandin metabolism. Med Hypotheses. 1983 Mar;10(3):329-36. PMID: 6348496
13. Treatment of Pyroluric Schizophrenia (Malvaria) With Large Doses of Pyridoxine and a Dietary Supplement of Zinc Link Here
14. Zinc and Manganese in the Schizophrenias Link Here
15. Ebben M, Lequerica A, Spielman A. Effects of pyridoxine on dreaming: a preliminary study. Percept Mot Skills. 2002 Feb;94(1):135-40. PMID: 11883552
16. Torre M, Rodriguez AR, Saura-Calixto F. Effects of dietary fiber and phytic acid on mineral availability. Crit Rev Food Sci Nutr. 1991;30(1):1-22. PMID: 1657026

A mother's thoughts

 If you've come here for very long, you know how very much I love my children Cora, Andrew, and Jacob! 

You know that they are the ones who I kept living for in '06 when I was dying from a mysterious disease. 

You know that they are the ones I gave 22 years of my life for to assist them in their educational process. 

You know the joys I felt on their wedding days and the hopes that I hold in my heart for another wedding day in the future.

You know the excitement I feel for this September when there will be new family members that join us on this Earth. 

You know of my grief that never stops, only ebbs and flows like the tides, for those children that I have sent ahead of me to Heaven. 

I know that they are happy!  I know that they are loved but I also know that they are missed even now.  When I think of my future with them in Heaven, I am comforted.  When I think of my life here without them, though, I think of all the things that I missed out on.

 I wondered if I could find a poem that would express this for me.  When I found this one, I thought of my living children immediately.  Then I thought of those who have passed.  I thought of all that was taken from me and I weep now today, on Mother's Day, for my empty arms and my lonely heart that they never filled!! 

My heart grieves today most of all for the times that I never had with them!  The birthdays we never got to celebrate.  The books I never got to read to them with them snuggling close to me on the couch.  The graduations that never happened................. the weddings that never took place............... the grandbabies that were never born.........................

Oh my aching heart, will you never stop grieving their loss?

NO--not until Heaven is my home!

So, to those of you in the midst of all that parenting means, please know that this time is a GIFT to you from God!!!!  PLEASE cherish every minute with your little ones; not-so-little ones; and your adult children!!  They ARE God's gift to us!!

Dawn

Being Your Mother

Being your Mother
means that I have had the opportunity
to experience loving someone
more than I love myself.
I have learned what it's like
to experience joy and pain
through someone else's life.

It has brought me pride and joy;
your accomplishments touch me
and thrill me like no one else's can.

It has brought me
a few tears and heartaches at times,
but it has taught me hope and patience.
It has shown me the depth,
strength, and power of love.

Being your mother
hasn't always been easy,
and I'm sure
I've said or done things that have hurt or confused you.
But no one has ever made me as satisfied
as you do just by being happy.
No one has made me as proud as you do just by living up to your responsibilities.

No one's smile
has ever warmed my heart
like yours does;
no one's laughter
fills my heart with delight
as quickly as yours can.

No one's hugs feel as sweet,
and no one's dreams
mean as much to me as yours do.

No other memories of bad times have miraculously
turned into important lessons or humorous stories;
the good times have become precious treasures
to relive again and again.

You are a part of me,
and no matter what happened in the past
or what the future holds,
you are someone
I will always accept,
forgive, appreciate, adore,
and love unconditionally.

Being your mother
means that I've been given
one of life's greatest gifts: you.

Author: Barbara Cage

Eye on the target

HE WON!!

One of Appleseed's rules is, "Keep your finger off the trigger 'til your sights are on the target!"

Andrew has had his sights on the Chairmanship of District 28 for many years.  He sighted in; did his homework to be ready when the time came; got experience leading our group of citizens studying the Constitution; and BANG!

From setting up chairs to making phone calls to driving folks to meetings to learning backwards and forwards Robert's Rules of Order, you name it ANDREW DID IT!!

All of his hard work paid off as our 2 State Representatives nominated him for the seat of distinction.

I loved how he gave Robert and I some credit stating that he'd grown up going to the Capitol and writing his Representatives in Congress and in North Dakota!

Congratulations to the new District 28 Chairman--my son--Andrew Bornemann

Dawn

PS.  All of this makes us sense that Andrew is pulling away from farming, which makes us sad, but you can't have everything.

Andrew

Dear Christian friends around the world.

Can I ask you a favor?  Will you all please join me in praying that my son, Andrew, wins the election for District Chair that is being held tonight in our area?  God has been grooming Andrew for this position for several years now and Andrew is ready.

There is great opposition to one so conservative to be in charge of our District.  All prayers are needed to make it happen.  I have already been visited by a demon this afternoon to try to scare me off.

 

PLEASE PRAY FOR GOD'S WILL TO BE DONE!!!  Either way, whether Andrew wins Chairman or Vice or nothing, we WIN when we pull together for good!

 

Here's a hymn for you all to enjoy.  Listen to the organ.  It sounds much like the organ playing on one of Andrew's favorite albums from long ago.

 

WHO IS ON THE LORD'S SIDE?

 

I am!!!!

 

Dawn

 

 

 

Ulcer recovery

This past week has been TOUGH!!!  I discovered that my old ulcer had sprung back to life and it made my life hell!  Seriously, an ulcer can give a person an idea of what hell must be like.  A burning on the inside of you that doesn't stop--that digs deeper and deeper--and that drives you insane with desperation to end the pain.

This is a good article that I found while seeking some relief.  http://www.healthline.com/health/natural-home-remedies-ulcers#overview1

I'm sharing what I did to bring relief so any of you dealing with ulcers may find relief too.  An old trick that I've used in the past did NOT bring relief.  You take a piece of bread and BURN it.  I mean the smoke needs to fill the kitchen.  Then you cover it with milk.  In the past this would get rid of the ulcer pain in about 3 treatments.  Not this time, though.

So I had to look for what else I was needing to get past that pain.  I read a lot looking for any little thing that I could try.  My favorite Essential oil manual, NATURE'S PHARMACY had a few ideas that I tried such as geranium oil in a capsule and also clay in water but nothing brought much relief.

Of course MMS soaks always help but the relief from the ulcer was not as long lasting as I had been hoping for.

I zapped with my brand new zapper from Dr. Hulda Clark store.  This seemed to help some.

I did broadcasts for myself for days..............

I gave myself BodyTalk and Body Code sessions like they were candy but the burning continued.

My friend and fellow BodyTalk practitioner, E, worked on me but my gut was on fire.  Finally she said to me 3 letters that made all the difference:  EFT.

That stands for Emotional Freedom Technique and it is the very first energy clearing tool that I learned.

So Friday afternoon, as I pondered suicide or the emergency room, I began tapping out the EFT points and said whatever came to my mind.  It all flowed out from a too-weak-to-fight-it-anymore body.  All sorts of nasty details from my childhood flowed out of my subconscious mind where they had been stuffed 5 decades ago.

 Memories as fresh as the moment they occurred.

Sickening memories and I fought off vomiting.  Maybe I should have just done it but frankly I was just too weak!

I started tapping Friday afternoon and said everything that came to my conscious mind.  I needed to hear it!  I needed to be reminded of all that I suffered in my childhood home.  I needed to understand the burning seething anger that my brother's funeral had unleashed in my subconscious mind.  I needed to GET RID OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I tapped solid for over an hour and started to feel a lessening of the squeezing, burning torture in my poor abdomen.

Then the guys came in for supper and I paused the tapping.  I could not eat. I had not eaten all week more than a few tablespoons of food at a time.  Any more and I felt that I would surely vomit.

After supper I began tapping again.  It was as if I would die if those horrid thoughts were not released.  Indeed, I was dying.

I went back to bed and did more EFT.  More memories surfaced and I wept.  I wept for myself!!  I wept for little Dawn like I had never done before!!

We had family prayer and I went back to the guest bedroom where I was staying so that Robert could get some sleep.  On my mind was the birthday party that we were having for Robert the next day but I could do nothing about that now.

I slept for a little while between 10:00 and 11:00 and then I woke up with more memories.  I tapped and tapped and tapped then slept about 45 minutes.

Then I woke up again and the most hideous memories that anyone can ever imagine surfaced.  I would gladly have died than face them.  NOBODY SHOULD BE A VICTIM OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE!!!!!!!!!!!

Then I slept a few hours.  I woke again sometime in the darkest of the night and wept uncontrollably with what was coming up from my subconscious mind.  I grabbed my vomit bucket but nothing came.  I noticed that the fire in my abdomen was lessening.  I knew that the worst of it was almost over.

I tapped out every memory that surfaced from those pit-of-hell years.  I tapped and tapped myself out of the trauma of incest and then I slept.

When I woke up, the sun light was flooding my room and the fire in my abdomen was gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I survived!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even though I was immensely weak, there was a party to prepare for.  I knew that E had me covered and that my incredible children would all pull their weight.  I moved back to my bedroom and slept like I don't ever recall sleeping.

Is it possible that my past is FINALLY laid to rest?

Time will tell.

I write all of this to say that if you were/are being sexually abused, please learn how to do EFT from Nick & Jessica Ortner.  They are a brother/sister team who are changing the world through EFT.  I praise God for bringing them into my life when He did!

If you are sexually abusing someone, you need to STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!!  I urge you also to learn how to do EFT from the Ortners.  You can get rid of whatever is driving you to do such things to others that ruin their lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You can get the help that YOU need to have a great life too!!

Most of all, if you have not given your life to the Lord Jesus Christ, please do so right this minute.  Only He can wipe away our stains of being sinners--which we ALL are!

I have shared my innermost pain to help others who have been forced to endure such things.  There IS hope for a happy life with the right therapies; the right support; and a total surrender of your life to Jesus Christ.

Tap, tap, tap!

Dawn


  

May 3rd

On May 3rd, 1980 I graduated from collage at Brookings, SD.  I graduated with a major in Sociology and a minor in Law Enforcement.  I have no idea where a photo of that would be so you'll have to imagine me as a very happy young women with my parents, my fiancé; several close friends; and my little brother all present to see me walk the stage. I was also sad to be leaving one of my very favorite places.

 

On May 3rd, 2014 my dad died.  Here's a photo of us shortly before that day.  I was sad that he was leaving us but happy that his sufferings were over.

 

 

 

 

Today is also a May 3rd.  This time I am sad that my brother has passed away and left his wife a widow and his children fatherless. On the other hand, I am happy that his sufferings have ended now.

 

So, what I'm seeing here is that each day we can choose between being happy and being sad.  It's not always easy to choose to be happy but that IS an option too!!

 

 

Let's choose to be happy today!!



To LIFE!!!

I thought about my miscarried children as I read this.  I thought of how bland life was after I lost each child. How empty................

Yet the end of this poem is true, too.  Sooner or later, the joys of life would make themselves apparent to me again.  Sooner or later, LIFE would become worth living again.

To those of you who are grieving today, I hope that this poem brings you the comfort that life itself IS joy!

Hugs,

Dawn

The Thing Is
by Ellen Bass

to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you’ve held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.

Oh so precious.............

This is how I feel when I read my mother's recipes.

                         Death Sets A Thing Significant -

Poem by Emily Dickinson

 

Death sets a thing significant
The eye had hurried by,
Except a perished creature
Entreat us tenderly.

To ponder little workmanships
In crayon or in wool,
With 'This was last her fingers did,'
Industrious until.....

The thimble weighed too heavy,
The stitches stopped themselves,
And then 't was put among the dust
Upon the closet shelves.

A book I have, a friend gave,
Whose pencil, here and there,
Had notched the place that pleased him,--
At rest his fingers are.

Now, when I read, I read not,
For interrupting tears
Obliterate the etchings
                         Too costly for repairs.