Third most incredible day ever!!!

What a way to start a blog post of such significance. Cora said, "You're not REALLY going to post that picture, are you Mom?"

"Of course not," I laughed. However, on second thought, I wondered if it wouldn't be a good mystery picture. I decided to let you wonder about this a little bit but will tell you all about it by and by. Any guesses what these are for?

Here is a clue for you.

Now I think it is time to get on with the story. I am not stretching the truth here folks--yesterday was the third most incredible day of my life! First was when I became a Christian on June 24, 1969; second was when I became Mrs. Robert Bornemann on October 10, 1980; and the third was yesterday when I became set free from the old pattern of self-hatred which has kept me from being totally happy all of my life.

I have already shared in my previous post about how my day started, so I won't dwell on that subject. However, I'd like to share how the Lord totally went on to bless my day in ways that will make the day unforgettable for my entire family.

Shortly after I had posted, we received a phone call from our friend Randy, at North Country Trucks, stating that after 4 weeks of waiting our truck was finally repaired. YIPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, when Robert first asked if I'd like to take him up to get the truck, I had declined. "I have too much to do here," I said.

However, while he continued his search for a driver, it began to register in my mind that I could do a little shopping for office things for my new office if I were to be the one to volunteer to take him up to Bismarck which, for us, is a one hour drive on good roads. After getting Jacob to agree to go with me, I told Robert that I had changed my mind and we got ready to go.

The trip itself was pleasant as the roads were much better than the last time I was on them and I busied myself doing a session for Cora who is still fighting a cold. When we reached Bismarck, I dropped Robert off at North Country and Jacob and I began our day of adventures.

We went in search of a nice chair for my waiting room; a hall tree for my client's coats; frames for all of my certificates which I STILL have not hung up in my office; and anything else that we could find which would make my office complete. I have more than twice the room that I had before so I need to fill it with just the right things to make it as lovely and "Health conscious" as my other one had been.

We made our way to Kathyrn's thrift shop which has come VERY highly recommended to me from numerous sources. Jacob and I had a ball there and we came out of it, over an hour later,with a very large, elegant brass hall tree; a brand new dress which cost me $1.25; and some new videos and dvds for school and family viewing.

The ARC brought me a "New" badly needed pair of black shoes, but nothing else for the office. When we came out of the ARC, I noticed that snow was starting to fall lightly so I decided to head for Sam's Club and then head for home. Robert had cautioned me not to hang around up there if the snow started, as a storm was predicted for late afternoon.

At Sams we took 2 carts. One was for the household stuff and the other for my business stuff. I knew that I needed a new binder for my (as Elizabeth calls hers) "Big book of everything." All of my resource information has been in one large binder which gets used a LOT. Being it's starting to loose it's cover, I decided it was time to fork over for a new one.

I put the pack of 2 (I'll use the other one for my Reiki information) new BLACK binders (which Jacob insists is more professional than white), into my buisness cart along with 3 new BLACK chairs for my office. Along with that went one pink something which shall remian nameless until further down in this post.

After writing out 2 checks, we headed over to the Member's Service counter to pick up the certain something which went along with the cardboard. All of you who have bought one of these at Sam's must certainly know what it is by now, but please don't tell anybody. ;)

Well, we headed for my office where we hung my new FIVE ELEMNTS poster; put the new/used hall tree in just the perfect spot; and took the plastic and singage off of the new chairs. After a little debate we settled on spots for the chairs and headed for home.

It was a journey I'll always cherish in my memory as Jacob talked ALL THE WAY HOME! I have a hard time getting him to talk usually but, you see, he was pumped up about my mystery purchase. I am so ignorant about technology that it will probably take a dozen such trips before I can get the hang of using my new addition to my business. It was so wonderful, though, to have this common link with my son and the hour passed quickly with only a few snowflakes falling as we pulled into our driveway.

Well, I came into the house excitedly as I knew that Andrew was especially eager to see my new purchase. I walked around the kitchen a few times and it seemed as though Robert, Cora, and Andrew were a bit nervous. We all talked gaily, for the approaching Sabbath always produces this affect on us. In addition, my heart was so light and happy from the night before when I began to understand how to help myself become truly happy AND healthy.

I showed them my new/used shoes which they all agreed were just "Perfect." I showed them my new mystery purchase which we all agreed would have to wait until the supper was ready and the kettles all washed and put away. I kept walking around excitedly and Andrew especially is in my memory as one who has swallowed the cat.

I can't recall now what it was that took me into the laundry room but when I did, my heart lept into my throat. Andrew burst into laughter and, as I looked around the small group which is my family, I saw them all smiling at my shock. There, leaning up against the back refrigerator, were two HUGE boxes which I knew could only be my tanning units that I had ordered from Dr. Mercola.

Suddenly I just broke into laugher of immesarable proportions and ran to sit down at the table. I was trembling with excitement and my feet stomped happily on the floor. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME," I asked?

Robert laughing said, "Because we wanted you to find them for yourself." This is the box of the one that we didn't open but will transport up to my Bismarck office in it's packing.

After we lugged the humungous box into the dining room and took the straps off, they let me open the box.

It arrived in perfect condition with awesome packaging.

I'm so glad that my guys aren't afraid of assembling things.

"Please put the coasters on now, Andrew and Jacob."

After some pondering on the perfect location, we put it in this little nook right outside our bedroom. In case you're like me and have never seen the special glasses that one needs to wear to protect your eyes when using a tanning system like this, that is what I was wearing in the picture up above. Cora was laughing uncontrolably as we each put them on and she took our pictures. Of course, when it was her turn to try them on, she held on tight to her camera and I was too excited to go for mine.

Just in case any of you are wondering, YES, I did use it this morning for the very first time and yes, I did wear those silly looking glasses. I am so excited to have the Sun Splash in my life now!!! For anyone who wants more information about this health product, please look at my former post on the subject.

And now, for the rest of the story. Yes, there is actually more to make yesterday so phenominal for me. You see, Andrew has been doing a great sales pitch and Jacob has been pitching in for awhile now too.

You see, they watch me doing my distance sessions then typing them out in an email to send to the clients thereby doing them over again. You see, last week one night Andrew said to me, "Tonight, Mom, you WILL record your session on my IPOD and I'll show you how to send it to your client tomorrow." You see, I absolutely LOVED not having to type the session all over again the next day!

So, yesterday afternoon while Jacob and I were in Sam's Club, he said to me, "Well, Mom, are you ready to buy your very own IPOD?"

GULP!

To make a long story short, I called Andrew and asked his opinion. "For recording my session reports, and everything else that you know that I need for my business, do you think that I need a laptop or an IPOD?"

After a lenghty discussion, Andrew and Jacob both convinced me that buying a Gen 4 34 GB IPOD TOUCH was just the thing for me.

SO I DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What in the world does that all mean? I have no idea right now, but I do know that I was getting pretty excited with all that Jacob told me about it on our way home together. You see, I have always been pretty suspicious about technology pulling our family apart or worse--pulling me away from God. Now, though, I have come to see that God can use this new tool to give me more time to be with my family or helping more people through sessions, or even reading my Bible on it when I do have a few moments alone with my King.

I amazed to think that this little technological wonder, which can do so many things to simply my life and my business, is so small that it can even fit in my purse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jacob was so cute when, after I had slipped it into my purse, he said, "You keep your eyes on that, Mom! Lots of people would love to come along and help themselves to THAT!" And so I entered the world of IPOD owners.

So then last night, after the lasagna was in the oven and the Sun Splash was in it's new home on our wall; I called the boys to watch me open the small package that will change my life in so many ways that I can't even imagine yet. I do know, though, that I do not have to purchase a date book for 2011, as I was planning to do, because I can record all of my session times in my IPOD. Can you tell that my son's have been trying to help me to come to grips with the near $300 price tag?

"Will you hurry up and open that thing, Mom?"

Here I am holding my very own IPOD. Actually, as I write this, it is now playing the Raleigh Ringers handbell choir's CAROL OF THE WISE MEN which Andrew put on it for me. Indeed, he just told me that he put his entire musical collection on it for me in "Around 10 minutes." Thank you, Andrw and Jacob, for pushing me over the edge into this new world--I THINK!

Well, it is the Sabbath and everyone is playing Foosball downstairs. I'm tired and in need of my usual Sabbath afternoon rest, but I just wanted to finish this post. I just HAD to share with you this thought which entered my mind as I drifted off to sleep last night.

As I bade my loving Heavenly Father goodnight, I felt Him again very close to me. Then I sensed Him asking me this question, "Dear Dawn, do you really think that you'd have bought the iPod if you hadn't had the experience last night of understanding your self-destructive ways?"

"What do you mean, Lord?" I asked in the darkness.

I almost heard Him chuckle as He said, "Well, you know, if you STILL believed that you were stupid, would you have ever thought that you could master an iPod?"

Tears flowed then--tears of joy--as I saw how God Himself has step by step brought me out of the land of darkness, fears, doubts, and self-hatred that I was born into.

As I drifted off then, I heard myself and perhaps another voice comforting me with my most recited Bible verse found in 2 Timothy 1:4: FOR GOD HATH NOT GIVEN ME THE SPIRIT OF FEAR--BUT OF POWER, AND OF LOVE, AND OF A SOUND MIND!!!

Isn't He absolutely wonderful?

Sabbath blessings to all,

Dawn--new iPod owner

Office day

Hi everyone,
I'm off to see clients in my Bismarck office today. I'm riding up with Andrew and have lots of errands to do up there as well. I took these pictures last week. It's not completely finished yet, but I like the blend of professionalism and homeyness in my own office at 2910 East Broadway; #44. It is sooooooo wonderful not to have to share it with anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is my waiting room. Esther Hanson arranged the flowers, feathers, and balls when she was in there last month. I was so glad that the Lord sent her as I do NOT have the knack for such things and Esther had just taken a class in it. Those are Helen Steiner Rice poetry books to match the seasons and a little cross that always sat on my parent's table. It says, "With God ALL things are possible." AMEN!

My new friend, Bonnie, who works at the Welcome House ministry in the building with me was walking down the hallway with a young man whom I believe volunteers for the ministry. I overheard him say to Bonnie, "Boy, THAT sure looks pretty." I was so glad to hear it as I spent quite a bit on the screen which has metallic panels in it. When the lights hit it, those panels just sparkle.

This is the work area on the other side of the panel. I still haven't had time to put up the border yet but maybe today.

I have been praying for the perfect "Something" to hang in this spot that I look at almost all of the time when I'm with a client. Well, I bought this picture at my dad's auction sale for $2 and, as I took it back to join Robert and Cora that day I said out of the blue, "This is for my office." Cora had looked at it then and said, "Oh look, Mom, it even has orange in it." It's not like I set out to have an orange office but it just came together that way.

Last week I looked at it often and drew strength from knowing that, thanks to God leading me to BodyTalk, those people did NOT destroy me. That picture will be a symbol of my victory from now on and I just love it there.

I'm off to the shower and then to this special quiet place that the Lord has given me. How I rejoice in His provision for me to have my very own office.

Happy Summer day,

Dawn

Youngest clients

I am so pathetically behind in posting, but today Andrew got things going so that I can add pictures again. THANK YOU, ANDREW DEAR!!! Of course, now I'm too tired to write a lot. However, when I browsed through the pictures quickly, I thought that these were just too adorable not to post right away.

These are my youngest clients who are outside of the womb. It's kind of hard to take pictures of a fetus, so these are the youngest ones that I can get pictures of. This is Landan and Jocelyn and I worked on them, and their mom, on Thursday. Their mom snapped this cute pictures of us all swinging our legs off of my new massage table. I'm still not finished decorating my office, but it is presentable now for clients.

When I was working on Jocelyn, Landon had to come and sit on my lap. It's all in a day's work, but those of you who know me well, know how very much I loved spending time with these little people. :)

I

It was a wonderful Sabbath rest today with my precious family. We're studying a Preterist tape series now and we watched an awesome Jimmie Stewart movie called, "Pot of Gold." I rested a lot and tonight we played a new game called, "Golden 10." I lost BIG Time, so it's certainly not my favorite, but it was good to see Jacob smoke everybody else. :)

Tomorrow we're going (except Cora who has to work) to a home school graduation at the Geiger house so I guess I should head for bed. It's just so good to be able to come here, to my little place in cyberspace, and share a bit about my life. I hope to write a nice, long post soon to show you a big surprise that my dad had for me last week. I don't have a good picture of it, though, so it'll have to wait.

Hugs to all you lovers out there,

Dawn

PS. We're trying to decided on whether or not to sing at Prairie Days next week. It's kind of late to work up a puppet show, but we really ought to do SOMETHING!

Packing

Part of the reason for my not writing here lately is because my computer hasn't been working the best. Another part is because I have been busily getting my new office in Bismarck ready for clients. A third part is because we have been planting our large garden (the small ones are across the road). A forth part is because I'm lining up a BodyTalk Access class in Napoleon next week. A fifth part is that I'm getting quarters and halves of beef to several families. The last part is that I have been trying to get things coordinated to pack up my dad's house for the sale next month. So you see, I haven't just been twiddling my thumbs. :)

Andrew installed a new system on our computer and now I can't use my scanner or insert pictures, but I'm sure that it's better in a lot of ways--once I figure out how to use it! I'm glad that he's busy helping finish up the seeding, and I know that he will get around to getting things working up to snuff again here SOON. It's just that I have lots of pictures of my new office that I am aching to show everyone.

I had my first work day in there on Tuesday and I JUST LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was so wonderful not to have to work around anyone else!!! Everything in the room was MINE. I had chosen them and nobody moved a thing while I was gone--not even the Kleenex box. In the other office, I never knew where I'd find the Kleenex box. It seems that everyone of my 4 partners had their own ideas as to where the Kleenex box should be.

My clients felt at home there in my new office and said that there was plenty of room. When I was finished with clients, I did some more shopping and bought some office decorations; a coat hook; and a filing cabinet. I tried to put it together myself as the instructions said, "Easy assembly." However, when it was 9:00 PM and the top wouldn't go on no matter how hard I pushed on it, I knew that I had to surrender and head for home. Yesterday Jacob finished assembling it for me and it took him a few hours to do it too, so then I felt better. :)

I'm asking for prayers for Saturday. We're going to Eureka to start packing things up for my dad's auction sale next month. My brother and his wife have begun the process and are feeling a bit daunted, but we couldn't get away from here to help until we were finished with our seeding. Hopefully Robert will be able to finish that tomorrow.

There's a big dread in my heart when I think of going into that house and dealing with all of my parent's stuff, but it has to be done. As Maria in THE SOUND OF MUSIC said when she was overwhelmed at the thought of what lay before her, "Oh Help!"

The most wonderful news around here is that my old washing machine permanently broke. This means that the guys went to Menards and bought me a brand, new one!!! WOW--IT IS SO COOL! It's a front-load type and we can watch the thing do it's work. I told Cora that she needs to get one when she has children as it's a great baby-sitter. It's absolutely awesome that our clothes are actually getting clean!!!!!!!!! YEAH!

Best get to work. I got my new book called, "THE REIKI TEACHER'S MANUAL," in the mail today and it's calling my name. I have my first Reiki 3 student coming to my office in a few weeks and I am VERY nervous. I have lots of studying to do--that's one more thing that's going on in my life! Please keep me in your prayers.

Oh yes, I just remembered another project that I'm working on in my mind. In my studying to teach Reiki 3 to my friend, I actually started reading the book that I received when I got my Reiki 3 last Fall. There is an awesome explanation in the book about how we have 7 layers of these energies inside of us.

When we die, the energies within us die too, so these are OUR energies. Well, Reiki is the highest energy and it is needed to help us get in touch with God. Every time that someone prays, they use Reiki energy naturally. However, most people prefer to try to solve their problems on their own rather than trouble God with their woes. That's why we remain powerless until we give up; get down on our knees; and ask God to help us. VERY SOON, I will write 7 posts explaining these 7 kinds of energies that we all have within us. It's such an awesome explanation................................ Can you tell that I LOVE my work?

Blessings,

Dawn

I DID get stuck

I'm going to start my post with some pictures of my favorite animal friends, although I won't write about them until the end of the post. Call me, "Lazy," but it gets so old dragging a bunch of pictures down the page half a mile. :)

This is our dog, Millie, who has been with us almost 2 years. She tries to help herd the cattle, but ends up in front of them somehow. We're working on it, though, as she has learned to come for a doggie bone almost all the time now.

Cora's aquarium is so aluring as one enters the world of under the water.

Cora's sweet Basset Hound, Millie also, whom she renamed, Lady. We are all in love with her ears.

A few of our turkeys and a chicken greeting each other, "Good morning," as they pass.

My sweet old, Clara, and me in the milking parlor a few weeks ago.

Mama and baby in the calving pen. This one needed a little help getting her calf out. The yellow tag means that she is one of Andrew's animals.

A lovely robin I spied in the tree by the deck.

Our little chicks we're raising after their mom hatched them out for us. We don't seem to have much success with incubators.

My very best friends, the goats!

The Holstein calves that we bottle fed last year. These animals, being they were hand fed, are very tame.

And now for my post.

I REALLY DID GET THE TRACTOR STUCK--and I was NOT very popular around here for it!

It happened late Friday evening. It was so exasperating as I had gone around 3 lakes during the course of the day. At each one of those lakes in the field I was working, I was able to keep moving that 300 horse power tractor less than 20 feet away from standing water. That morning had gone GREAT and I was so happy that I was strong and healthy and able to help with the field work.

I finished that 30+ acre field by noon. I was just in time to see our friend from South Carolina leave with our 1486 which they were renting from us to plant their field plots on their farm 8 miles from here. I waved a, "Glad to see you back in ND, Gaylin," and felt on top of the world.

After lunch I took a nap as I knew the 50+ acre field that I had hoped to finish yet before Sabbath lay ahead of me. I try not to do so much field work as bouncing around out there tends to be hard on my neck. When I awoke, I jumped in my, "Carriage" as Robert calls our 4890 Case "Big" tractor and drove south to do the field around the Kintyre curve. He usually drives the tractor up in front of the house for me; pops his head in the door; and says, "Your carriage awaits." :)

Storm clouds threatened our progress, but I started the field with high hopes of finishing it before dark if I would push hard. Robert was working across the road from me planting corn and I waved at him when our tractors ended up facing each other at the end of our fields. HOW ROMANTIC!

Once I got a big rock stuck in between the disc blades, but Cora and Jacob got it out for me as they were out there picking rocks out of the places where the rock piles were. They had the pry bar so I just let them help me out while I cleaned out the mud between one of the places where the scraper had broken out.

At first I tried loosening up the places where the big excavator had driven, but Robert said that we needed the chisel plow for that. After I gave that up, I did some serious praying that the Lord would send the rain around our field so that I could finish it before the start of Sabbath at sunset. He seemed very obliging too, as the storm moved to the North and I was bathed in Spring sunshine which lifted my hopes that I'd be able to finish the field.

Robert and I REALLY both enjoy finishing big projects before the beginning of Sabbath. However, it wasn't to be this time. You see, I came to this low place that looked rather dampish but there was NOT one drop of visible water standing in the field. I thought, "No problem, there's not even any water standing in this field." I charged through, with little difficulty although I did have to lift the disc a tiny bit. Little did I know that different soil types have different affects on tractor sinkability, but I was about to find out.

I was pushing hard and trying to estimate if I'd be able to finish up before dark. The fact that the field is cut away for the curve in the road, gave me a little hope. I didn't think about it much when I came back to the low spot in the field. I guess I should have. All of a sudden the tires started spinning and, when I lifted up the disc to help me plow through, NOTHING HAPPENED.

I kept going for a little while, unable to accept that I had indeed gotten that big beastly tractor stuck in a place where there was no standing water. "How can this be?" I asked the Lord. Gradually it DAWNED on me that I was REALLY stuck. I gulped hard; put the tractor in neutral; pulled down the throttle; and prayed.

"Now Lord, you don't REALLY mean to leave me sitting here like this, do you?" No answer. So I prayed for wisdom to know how to drive out of there and I put the thing in first gear and was positive that I would be able to drive out of there. Nope.

It took a lot of courage for me to call Robert, knowing how STRONGLY he wanted to finish his field before dark too. I was almost relieved when I got his voice mail as I very weakly left a message, "I'm stuck." Then I called the house but Cora and Jacob were out at chores yet. I left the same message there and called Andrew who told me that he had just left Linton and was 45 minutes away.

To make a VERY long story short, the guys all came out to the field to help their damsel in distress. They ended up having to unhook the disk and pull it out backwards. Without all of that weight behind, Robert was able to drive the tractor out of the slop. Then they re-hooked the disc and Robert drove the tractor and disc home.

But what was I doing during all of that? Well, it had become apparent that I needed to surrender the driver's seat to Robert. When I stepped down off of the tractor, the mud instantly sucked off one of my shoes. The next step I took, the other shoe also was sucked off of my foot by the mud. How lovely. Here I was a foot and a half deep in mud with NO SHOES.

By this time, it was dark outside. I drug myself through the muck over to where Jacob was standing a safe distance from the tow chains. I told him that I'd lost my shoes but we had no time to look for them as Robert and Andrew were trying to get the equipment moved around and we needed to stay away from them as they couldn't see us in the dark. It's kind of terrifying to be standing barefoot in mud with big equipment moving around you in the dark.

All in all, I was standing in the dark with no shoes and my feet and legs covered in mud for about half an hour. There was nothing to do about it as the loader tractor was needed to help pull out the disk and Robert was in the Beast. My feet were so cold and I was so miserable that I couldn't help but sob on Jacob's shoulder.

Finally, the tractor and disc were re-hooked together, on solid ground, so that we could have the loader tractor. Jacob took me home then and I have never been so happy to take a nice, warm shower in my life!!!!!!! I thought about taking a picture of my muddy socks but you can't really see anything but a big glob of mud. Jacob said, "I'd throw those out if I were you, Mom." I haven't wanted to touch them yet, so they're still laying in the entryway where I left them that night. They blend in pretty well with the rest of the entry way, as everyone is dragging in so much mud these days!

We were all VERY thankful that they were able to get the tractor and disc out of the mud hole that night as it's been raining ever since. In fact, we've had 4 1/2 inches of rain since then. When I am tempted to feel sorry for myself for getting a cold out of the deal OR to be mad at myself for not getting the field done that night, I just picture the tractor floating out there with all of this rain, and then I am able to find SOMETHING to be glad about.

So, YES, I DID get the tractor stuck. Thanks to the most ingenious men in the world, though, it now sits in the yard waiting for things to dry out so that I can go finish the field. I wonder if I'll see my shoes floating on the top?

What else is new around here? Well, tomorrow is my last day in my office on South Washington in Bismarck. I am soooooooooo excited to pick up the keys to my new office. I ordered some things for that office but I'm going to save the details until later when I can show you pictures of it. My office will go from a suite of rooms to just one 10 X 12 foot room. However, it is the same price as a fifth of the suite and I CAN HAVE ACCESS TO IT ALL THE TIME!!!! No more sharing the room!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really do need to go finish my kombucha batch. Have I told you that I am in love with kombucha? I'm in the brain field you know. I mean it helps to have brains when I'm driving tractor but it REALLY helps when I'm doing BodyTalk sessions. Whenever my brain starts getting fuzzy, I drink some kombucha and it gets right back on track within minutes. It's wonderful stuff and I'd be happy to send anybody a free starter kit, but you'll need to pay the postage. Cora just sent 2 of them to her blogging friends and it cost over $9 to ship them.

Anyway, I am wondering if anyone has ever made kombucha with Apple cider tea from Bigelow? I'm going to give it a try as all of the ingrediants are warming and it smells heavenly. I'll let you know how I like it in about 10 days. :)

Other than that, my washing machine died yesterday; Cora's little buckling, Roger, has stolen my heart; everyone is out loading up scrap metal today as the guys are going to take up a load tomorrow and help me move into my new office; and we got an invitation today in the mail to Ben Dagley and Hannah Stover's wedding next month.

My truly BIG news, though, is that I took an animal communication class on Sunday with a bunch of BodyTalkers in Bismarck. It was an incredibly exciting experience to learn how to tune into the thoughts of Kris's 2 gorgeous cats. The Lord had a wonderful surprise in store for me, though, that has made me so happy ever since.

I'm sure all of you know how much I have been grieving the loss of my beautiful, Brown Swiss cow Clara! Well, I shared how I have been grieving Clara when Kris started to smile. You see, I had just assumed that Clara would be in someone's freezer by now so that is why I was totally stunned when she said, "Clara's still alive!"

"REALLY? How do you know?"

Kris smiled, "Because you can't tune into dead animals." DAAAAAAAAAA

She told me that she had tuned into Clara's frequency and found that she is still alive but going backwards with all of the rain and something else. "She's asking you to keep doing BodyTalk on her," Kris said.

I sat dumbfounded for a few moments. WHY HADN'T I EVER THOUGHT OF THAT????? If I can do distance sessions on people, why couldn't I do them on my dear, sweet Clara? Another DAAAAAAA.

That was when my tears of grief turned to tears of joy. Kris smiled at me and said, "You CAN keep in touch with your cow by doing BodyTalk sessions on her just like you did when she lived with you." OH FOR JOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She cautioned me, though with these words, "You will know that she is dead when you can no longer tune into her frequency." That makes sense.

I did a long session for my girl on the way home that night and short ones each day since. She's doing better now! You know how I know? I ask, "Are you feeling better, Clara?" I got a YES through our biofeedback technique that we use in BT.

Then I asked, "How much better? What percent?"

Yesterday she was 42% better than she had been on Sunday. Today I got that she was 92% better than she had been on Sunday. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! GO, CLARA, GO!!!!!!

So you see, God wanted me to go to that animal communication class because he knew that the grief of thinking she was dead was too much for me to bear right now--especially since she ISN'T. I needed to be with Kris, who has the skills to tune in to all animals (she's been doing this for 6 years), to learn that I really CAN keep in touch with my girl through her daily BT sessions.

My heart is so much happier now as I see that the Lord opened my eyes to see the door that I had been using to care for my girl STILL EXISTS!!! I just have to do it from a distance, but what do I care. As long as I know that my Clara is well, I am happy. I'm not sure why I didn't think of doing that before, but I just assumed that she would be slaughtered immediately.

I do realize that only animal lovers would ever be able to grasp what I am trying to say here, but that's ok. I was with a room-full of animal lovers on Sunday, so I know that I'm not the only one who cares so intensely for our furry friends. Animals have always been the ones who loved me through the rough times in my life. Now I'm just thrilled to be able to return their love on a whole new plane.

Best get to the performance session that I'm doing for a fellow BodyTalker who is graduating tomorrow. It's my gift to her with the hopes that it will help her to be the very best that she can be on her special day.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings!

Dawn

The Nudge

I am sooooo grateful to those of you who have said that you pray for me! Like I shared in my last post, prayer truly IS the most incredible gift that anyone could ever give another person--other than leading them to the Lord, of course!

So much has happened here this past week. Ever since Jacob's test, I've been wanting to share how the Lord used that testing experience to show me that I needed to sell my milk-cow, Clara. I cried, after Jacob's test was finished, as I told Kristen and Jacob about how hard it was to release Clara, but that I could see that Jacob needs to be my priority. Kristen patted Jacob's hand then, and said to him, "You have a good mom."

That was great and soothing then, but this morning when I went out to the barn and she was gone, there truly was no comfort for me to be had. I cried and cried most of the morning. Now, when the guys left to go watch last year's calves be sold, I just couldn't go with. It's the first time since we started farming again that I had no desire to go with to the sale. How can I go there knowing that Clara is there waiting to be put on some truck for some feedlot somewhere--at best.

I think you all know what the, "At worst" part is. I tried to convince myself to keep her until she died, like I did with my all-time-favorite milk goat, Rachel. However, Clara is worth a lot of money alive and NONE dead. Also I can't imagine the grief I'd go through watching her decline. To eat her ourselves is out of the question. I used to laugh at city slickers who were timid about eating an animal. However, Clara is one animal that I know I could never stomach eating.

This morning when I pondered writing this post, I was going to call it, "Perfect timing." I was going to share how God led me to my very own BodyTalk office yesterday in Bismarck on the very same day that my family hauled Clara in to the sales barn (the day before the sale). I praised God last night through my tears, as I thought of Clara being in the sales barn instead of here at home with me, that He had brought me a new joy on the day of such a great sorrow.

I really AM excited about my new office, but the reality of Clara's empty stall this morning has been hitting hard today. Clara was my friend. She was 14 years old and I dreamed of helping her to reach the distinciton of being the oldest cow in the world through her regular BodyTalk sessions. Some day soon I will post her last formal session report--when I have the heart for it. I did that session the day that Jacob was testing and it is a comfort to know that God really does want me to sell her so that I can focus on Jacob's schooling as my business grows. Like I told Kristen, "Something has to give," and it was a comfort to me that day when she understood what I meant.

Well, it's NOT going to be home schooling that goes--there are 4 wonderful years of home schooling left before I have to say goodbye to THAT chapter in my life. I can't imagine how I'll cry that day, after investing 21 years of my life into my children in that way. Still, I milked Clara night and day (except when I was ill or busy in the fields or nowadays with clients) for over 5 years. [Oh Clara, how I miss you my dear sweet Brown Swiss cow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!] You probably guessed that I'm crying again, so it is so nice to be alone here and be able to write about my sadness at parting with the most wonderful cow in the whole wide world.

So now you understand why I didn't want to go along to the sale. I told my men-folk that I would stay home and do a few distance BT sessions that need doing. Then Andrew gave me THE NUDGE!!!! He's nudged me a few times over the past couple of years to finish my book. However, since he got back from a home school graduation recenly, he has been studying self-publishing as the graduate was trying to find ways to publish a book that she had written.

If you remember YELLOW DAISIES, then you've been around a long time. I started it when I was yet VERY ill, as my mind needed to know that I was doing good with my time even when my body was still bed-ridden. It also seemed to take my mind off of the pain in my body to be focusing on the early days of our marriage. When I got well, it seemed like a distasteful task to finish it. So much pain is tied up in it that I'd just as soon forget the whole thing.

I know that the Lord wants the story told about how He saved Robert's and my marriage 20 years ago. I know that He wants me to share how I could have contracted a lethal disease from the man that I thought was somehow an improvement on the one that God had given to me. I've known for almost 20 years that the Lord wanted me to tell the story in written form because every person that I told it to verbally was deeply touched by the love of God for Robert; myself, and our family.

I guess I just thought that someday, when I'm not so busy I'd finish YELLOW DAISIES. Now I feel Him urging me to go and work on it some more TODAY!!! Today, when my heart is grieving the loss of my dear Clara AND the house is quiet--THIS IS THE TIME I MUST WRITE.

First, though, I need to know that others will pray for me. PLEASE pray for me to finish this work. After I got into the story, I could see that the Lord was trying to do MORE than just show how HE saved our marriage. I believe that He will use it to soften the hearts of those who question HIS plan for one man to marry one woman and raise children together who will serve and love HIM--the giver of life. I covet all of your prayers as I again take the time and energy to dig into the past!

Andrew urged me to consider that my finishing the story can possibly make us some money. How I have detested money most of my life, but now I see that a Christian can do more good with money than without it. After all, it's going to take quite a bit of money to build the health center here that He showed me He would do when I was up at Paulette's on my deathbed.

Perhaps I really AM ready to finish YELLOW DAISIES?

Before I go dig into that project, though, I simply MUST pay tribute to the incredible cow who stole my heart with her quiet dignity the first time that I laid eyes on her 5 years ago. Being she's a Brown Swiss, I had thought of calling her, "Heidi" as I so love that movie filmed in the Swiss Alps. Everyone here chuckled at that name, though, so I picked Heidi's cousin, Clara, instead.

I hope that you will enjoy this last picture review of milking time, taken a few weeks ago, here at SEEDS OF HONOR! By the way, 4 of our 6 milk cows were sold today in Napoleon; one will be hamburger for our customers; and the sixth one, Sally, is still here pumping milk for our bottle calves whose mothers couldn't care for them. Andrew plans to get Sally put into a good home as she is young and a good milker with many good years ahead of her yet. For now, though, Sally is safe at home with us.

This picture is kind of dark but you can see Cheerio (Andrew's cow) leading the way; Lilac (Jacob's cow) is in the shadows pulling into her stall beside Cheerio; and Clara is next but still outside. This was our second batch. In the first batch not shown were Sally (Andrew's cow), Louisa (Cora's cow), and Sadie (Cora's cow).

Here is Clara pulling into her stall on the South end of the milking parlor. I just love her ears which are full of soft hair. I love her big, brown eyes which gaze at me with wonder, but the part that I love the most about her is the light circle of hair all around her muzzle. I wanted to touch it so many times but never did. A couple of times she let me touch her ear, though. I could lean up against her side or leg any time I wanted and oftentimes, her calf would kick at me. Oh, what a wonderful thing it is to be loved by a diary cow!!!!

Once the cows were in their stalls, somebody would pull the cables that locked in their head-gates so that they couldn't get out. Depending on the weather, we'd close the big barn door. Here is Cora enjoying the lovely Spring weather.

When I did my BodyTalk sessions on Clara, I'd pull up a chair beside her. She'd perk up her ears to hear what I'd say. Sometimes, she'd stop chewing her oats and gaze at me with her gorgeous brown eyes. I'd find the links and then tap them on myself most of the time. Sometimes I'd need to tap them on her but she never minded. I'd take the brush and give her a scratch if her session was short. OH HOW I LOVE THAT COW!!!!

Cora caught this one of me as I said, "Goodbye" to my girl until next time.

The thing that separates that day from this one is that now there isn't going to be any more next times. CLARA IS GONE AND MY DREAM OF HAVING THE OLDEST LIVING COW IS GONE WITH HER. Worse than that--MY FRIEND IS GONE FOREVER!

Please pray for me,

Dawn