Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Turning 60

Yesterday, December 25, 2017 I turned 60 years old!  Sometime I will write an upbeat post about the wonderful surprise birthday party my family gave me 5 weeks back.  Tonight I feel the need to share something else.

It's an awful lot to squeeze into 1 day--Christmas and your birthday.  It's been a bummer most of my life.  As a kid I'd get combined birthday/Christmas gifts.  Then on my brother's birthdays, they would get the same gifts PLUS they got Christmas gifts.  It doesn't take long for a Christmas birthday child to realize that their birthdays are just a pain to already over-stressed parents and grandparents during the "Best time of the year!"  Excuse me for being born, right?

So tonight, I'm sitting here working on my New Year's letter and waiting for this computer to decide to cooperate.  I decided to go on a search of post-Christmas depression articles and there were actually quite a few to choose from.  I liked this one because the writer was encouraging people to write and so I am.

I hope this article blesses someone in the world who is less-than-thrilled right now.  All of the Christmas hype cannot be fair to December 25th.  How can 1 day be THAT incredible?  How can this day, December 26th, be so drab and wearisome when it is just 1 day past that incredible time when Christmas magic abounds?

The thing that I have enjoyed in the past about Christmas is the families gathering together.  However, this year I have neither father nor mother and the brother closest to me in age died this April.  My daughter went to Minnesota with her husband to his family; my son is planning a trip and forgot to wish me happy birthday; and my youngest spent most of his day on the computer.  I'm very thankful for a thoughtful husband but my mother-in-law must have forgotten to call and extend birthday wishes even though that's a tradition of hers.  This article does say to get out our Scroogey thoughts so I'm sorry if I'm making you even more gloomy. 

ANYWAY, my oldest brother remembered my birthday and called me to say so.  It was great hearing someone from home!  Also, my youngest brother texted, "Happy birthday" from Las Vegas so I wasn't completely forgotten.  Another plus was that my son and his wife cooked us supper and spent time playing games (my youngest played too) and watching movies with us!  Actually, though, over the years my clients have become my family and they (plus many Facebook friends) wrote to say how much I mean to them.  So, as always, I must choose between Gloomsville or Pollyanna. 

I'm hoping that my writing here will help you to choose to express any dark Christmas thoughts so that they don't hang around and cause future health problems for you.  Actually writing a gripe letter to Santa Clause doesn't sound like a bad idea.  ;)  At any rate, you can know that you're not alone today if you're feeling that the let down isn't worth the exhilaration for 1 day.

Hugs my dear friends,

Dawn


The Best Way to Overcome Those Post-Christmas Blues

This is a difficult season, the week after Christmas. It’s a mini-season of limbo, an awkward in-between time, and people have different ways of dealing with it.
Post Christmas Blues
Photo credit: Anthony Kelly (Creative Commons)
Some are still running on fumes from the emotional high that opening presents and seeing family brought. They may even try to extend the holiday an extra week, with varying degrees of success.
Others feel guilty for over-indulging in holiday sweets and are on a weeklong shame fest. They are already starting to make those New Year’s resolutions.
Even others are dealing with the disappointment of another year gone by, another December 25 come and gone, and a lingering feeling of emptiness after the last gift is unwrapped.
For years, I felt this way about Christmas, and to an extent, still sometimes do.
There is so much hype and expectation, building up to a single day. How does it live up to its potential? And what do we do the days after Christmas, when for many of us, a good old-fashioned case of the blues settles in?

Write about it

Capture your thoughts — yes, even your angst-ridden, Scroogey thoughts — and share them. Do it honestly and unapologetically.
If you feel something deep and dark, maybe even cynical, write about it. Use a notebook or laptop, and let yourself process the feelings without restraint.
In other words, grieve.
Did you have an amazing Christmas and you’re sad to see it go? Write about it. Did everyone get into a fight and yell at each other? Write about that, too.
Did you end the day, cynical and frustrated, not believing in the so-called “magic” of Christmas? Yes, write even about that.

And as you write, let go

As the memories and frustrations wash over you, let the feelings slip away. Honor them as they come. But don’t dwell on them. Be present to your emotions. And then, let them fade.
This is what grieving is for: not hanging on, but letting go.
Maybe you need to write a lament, like I did. This is a sort of anti-Christmas carol. Instead of singing of the joys of the coming holiday, mourn its passing — whether you loved it or hated it.
Have a funeral for this day of wonder and awe. Because it’s gone. And it won’t be coming back. You will never get this Christmas back.
So shed a tear or sing a “hallelujah.” Do whatever you need to do to let it go. There are 364 other days that need your attention; don’t dwell in the past or on the future. Focus on where you are right now.
Writing (or any creative act) can help you with this.

Ways to work through the blues

If you get stuck, here are some ideas:
  • Write a poem about the feelings you felt right after opening presents. Disappointment? Anger? Release? Capture them in words.
  • Write a complaint letter to Santa Claus about your disillusionment. What really miffs you about this holiday? Tell the old fat man “how it is.”
  • Write a blog post, describing Christmas day, without all the fluffy exaggerations. Be honest. If you didn’t like a gift, say so. Write what we’re all thinking.
  • If you’re so inclined, write a sad song and sing it aloud — for yourself or others to hear.
  • Pray a prayer that allows you to grieve the passing of the day, while still honoring its importance.
  • Paint a picture, listen to music, or do some woodworking. Just create something. Anything.
This is how we work through disappointment and overcome tragedy. We grieve. We process. We pay attention to what we’re feeling, so that we can move on. We own our feelings, so they don’t own us.
This is healthy. This is right. This is necessary.
Be brave today (and the days following Christmas); learn to grieve and let go. There is a wonderful lesson about life and loss to be learned here. If you will be present. If you will press in, mourn, and move on.
Or you can just go shopping and watch TV. It’s your call.
How do you overcome the post-Christmas blues? Share in the 87 Comments.

About Jeff Goins

I write books and help writers get their work out into the world. I am the best-selling author of four books, including The Art of Work. Each week, I send out a newsletter with free tips on writing and creativity.

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