To loving fathers everywhere!

I'm having a hard day today. Yes, Mother's Day is hard as I ponder my repeated miscarriages but Father's Day is hard too.  Robert would have loved all of his children, and he will when he gets to Heaven, but it's still hard to have had such short moments with each of our children who left Earth way too soon.

Then, too, my own father was the exact opposite of my loving husband.  My dad did all he could to make sure that I knew I wasn't welcome in his family.  The only loving thing I recall my dad doing was teaching me how to change a tire before I left for collage.  Oh yes, he taught me how to play pool too--such a useful life-long skill.  That was mostly so he'd have someone to play with!

Yes, I have a hard time thinking about my father.  He knew about the incest and thought one spanking of my brothers would end it.  Not once did he say to me, "You have great worth!  You are special!  Nobody should ever hurt you like that ever again!"  or "Come and tell me if they ever touch you again."

Recovery from incest, or anything else I imagine, is strange.  I go along just fine for months at a time and then hearing one word can set me off into bad memories for a week.

I praise God for helping me to buy my BETAR table.  At moments when my emotions are threatening to ruin my day, I spend half an hour lying down on it and listening to music.  What an amazing healing tool it is!

Just now, as I pondered my neglectful father, I knew that I needed some table time.  As I relaxed and let the musical massage do it's work, I again remembered the wonderful father that my children have.  Robert had a terrible father, too, but somehow he took all of those memories and made good ones for our children. He refused to pass on a legacy of self-indulgence and alcoholism.

To Robert then--my amazing husband.  May you know the joys of your family's love for you forever!

To our loving Heavenly Father who has brought us through untold sorrows together.  This song touched my heart just now, as I listened to it on my BETAR table.  There truly is nothing that God cannot take us through if we turn to Him in our hour of need.

To a great new week!

Dawn