Exasperated

Right now I am so exasperated!!! This is the 3rd straight day that our cows have gotten into the neighbor's sunflower field. Yesterday morning, when he called me, HE was exasperated. Robert and Andrew went up right away then and chased the cattle back in; fixed the fence; and talked to the neighbor about our frustration. The cattle are standing belly deep in grass but they insist on going into this field--if it was corn I could maybe understand. Our guys then hot-wired (strung electric fence) around the edge of our pasture which borders this field. Usually this is enough but not with these hard-to-please critters. UGH!!!!!!!!!! So now, being Robert is baling trying to beat the rain, the children went up to chase them in.

Andrew said that they'll have to hot-wire the west end of that cell too if we are to have any peace tomorrow. This means that Jacob will drive the Ram Charger; Cora will push in the electric fence posts about every 20 feet; and Andrew will string the wire. The distance is about a mile so it's going to take them some time. Then they have to unplug the charger; hook the new wire to the one the men strung yesterday; and turn it on again. If any grass or weeds are touching the wire, it won't spark and they'll have to cover the whole distance again looking for what is touching the fence. So do you see why we're all exasperated? This is on top of my dad's situation. Here's the news on that.

Sharel called this morning and said that dad had another acute attack of pain a few minutes earlier. The doctor had just been there and told my dad that this is very serious!!! He is very concerned about doing the surgery without a heart specialist's approval. My dad is "Old"; he smokes; has high blood pressure; and is a diabetic. Basically, then, they won't do the surgery
until a cardiologist approves of it. This means more testing today and they probably won't get "Around to it" today at all.

I had a good talk with Sharel as she was concerned about leaving dad when he is so sick, but she needs to get home for a wedding tomorrow. She said that she just couldn't imagine leaving her dad alone if he were that sick. She was hinting that it would be good if one of us would come to Sioux Falls (about 7 hours away) to stay with him. This was when I told her of the facts of my life. I told her that I lay on my deathbed for 18 days and neither dad (nor mom) called me; visited me; or even sent a card during those 18 days. Her mind was just reeling and she gasped, "I'm trying to wrap my mind around this." She said, "I've been trying to figure out your family dynamics for over 25 years and it just baffles me." So I helped her out a little.

I told her that my dad's cruelty is nothing new. When I was a newlywed, I had pneumonia and was hospitalized for 5 days right there in Eureka--blocks from his home. Not once during that time did my dad send his concern for me in any way. My mom said that she told him to come and see me but he was "Too busy farming". I told Sharel that my dad has been "Too busy farming" all of my life and that now he is reaping what he has sown.

I encouraged her to leave the hospital but she felt that somebody should come and stay with him. I said, "Once a year our family has a big treat and that is on the 4th of July. We already have our tickets and we ARE going to the rodeo in Mandan tomorrow night. If he dies tomorrow, then I guess that he will die alone as he has lived--WHICH WAS HIS CHOICE!!!!!

I encouraged Sharel to keep her family her priority and leave my dad to the Lord's will. She said that Duard had just told her the same thing but it REALLY helped her to hear ME saying so too. I encouraged her to head for home ASAP and she sighed a deep sigh of relief and said, "Thank you".

She told me that it was so strange that on her trip down yesterday, NONE of my dad's children called her to see how my dad was doing. Her brother called her to see how she was handling it all. Her mom called her AND her dad called her to see how the trip was going for her and my dad (she drove dad down to Sioux Falls). I told her that I had been praying for HER all afternoon and she said, "Well, he did sleep most of the way so I'm glad about that." YEAH GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So Sharel is leaving my dad's hospital bedside and nobody is filling her spot there because we are all "Too busy"--just like he was for us all of our lives. Now Rick just called cussing a blue streak because Dad isn't in the Bismarck hospital where dad's sister and Rick live--plus it's a lot closer for our family. I said that I guess we should have thought of that yesterday but Dad was seen by a visiting doctor from Aberdeen in the ER in Eureka. This doctor thought that the surgery could be done in Aberdeen which is about a 2 1/2 hour drive for us. When they couldn't deal with the stone, because of it's massive size, they sent him to Sioux Falls where we know absolutely nobody. The Lord always has a reason, though, and I trust him to see us through this mess. Already last night, our friend Ellen Johnson wrote that they have a friend who visits the hospitals in Sioux Falls so dad may get one Godly visitor yet. What a mess!!!!!

Always I am blessed when I read from the book MORNING AND EVENING. This morning was no different. I share the passage first and then Mr. Spurgeon's thoughts. Genesis 41:4 THE ILLFAVORED AND LEANFLESHED KINE DID EAT UP THE SEVEN WELLFAVORED AND FAT KINE.

Pharaoh's dream has too often been my waking experience. My days of sloth have ruinously destroyed all that I had achieved in times of zealous industry; my seasons of coldness have frozen all the genial glow of my periods of fervency and enthusiasm; and my fits of worldliness have thrown me back from my advances in the divine life. I had need to beware of lean prayers, lean praises, lean duties, and lean experiences, for these will eat up the fat of my comfort and peace. If I neglect prayer for never so short a time, I lose all the spirituality to which I had attained. If I draw no fresh supplies from heaven, the old corn in my granary is soon consumed by famine which rages in my soul. When the caterpillars of indifference; the canker worms of worldliness; and the Palmer worms of self-indulgence lay my heart completely desolate, and make my soul to languish, all my former fruitfulness and growth in grace avails me nothing whatever. How anxious should I be to have no lean-fleshed days, no ill-favored hours! If every day I journeyed towards the goal of my desires I should soon reach it, but backsliding leaves me still far off from the prize of my high calling, and robs me of the advances which I had so laboriously made. The only way in which all my days can be as the "Fat kine," is to feed them in the right meadow, to spend them with the Lord, in His service, in His company, in His fear, and in His way. Why should not every year be richer than the past, in love, and usefulness, and joy? I am nearer the celestial hills, I have had more experience of my Lord, and should be MORE like Him. O Lord, keep far from the cures of leanness of soul; let me not have to cry, "My leanness, my leanness, woe unto me?" but may I be well-fed and nourished in Thy house, that I may continually praise THY name!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Isn't that incredible? You know, even though my earthly father was one of the worst examples of what a dad should be, ALWAYS I HAVE HAD MY HEAVENLY FATHER SHOWING ME THE WAY TO PEACE. HE continually reminds me to take a look at MY responsibilities. He says, "What good does it do to look at your parents failures, because then you will make them your pattern. No, keep your eyes on ME and stive to be like ME!" Thank you, Lord, for seeing me through all that has come before this day, for I know that you will see me through this day too!!!!! I love you, my God and my King!!!! Thanks for being a perfect father to me all the days of my life!!!