HOPELESSLY OUT-DATED!!!!!!

"Hopelessly out-dated." I should have known better than to harbor a thought like that, but let me back up a bit.

Sabbath was wonderful. We rested; sang hymns; listened to Pastor Davis's sermon on loyalty; and then went to a garden birthday party. How I love birthday parties--ALL parties actually. Well, I shouldn't say THAT as I most certainly do not love parties where the main goal is to consume alcohol. I differentiate there and call them "Wild parties." I like the kind where people sit around and visit and eat and honor the Lord in all that they do and say. Many of the people present at this particular party were born-again Christian's, so the fellowship was sweet. The boys played their instruments, so the music was down-right wholesome too. The weather was just lovely, with no bugs, so it was down-right lovely. Cora posted pictures already so feel free to go there for the details.

Sunday morning, though, wasn't as lovely. I got a phone call from the lady who owns, "Nita's Attic" in Napoleon. She said, "I'm sorry to call you on Sunday morning but I want you to know that I will not be able to use any of those clothes that you brought in."

I was pretty surprised and asked, "NOT ANY?"

"No, not any." Then she added, "They are all HOPELESSLY OUT-DATED, and I need you to come and pick them up this week."

I told her that I would get them soon and hung up the phone. At first I had a laugh with Robert and told the children that our new phrase to chuckle at is, "Hopelessly outdated." Everyone laughed and I went to work weeding in my long flower bed out front. However, as I had lots of time to think and nobody to talk to at the moment, the words started to eat at me.

"We're supposed to be a peculiar people," I mumbled under my breath, "but is "Peculiar" HOPELESS? How can clothing be hopeless anyway? As far as my understanding of the word "Hopeless" goes, I have understood that people who reject Christ's free gift of salvation are hopelessly banned from Heaven. There is no other hopelessness that God cannot fix, is there? What is it about clothing that can be hopeless anyway? Yes, if there are no threads stuck together to cover the body, that would be hopeless. WHO SAYS WHEN CLOTHING BECOMES HOPELESS? HOW CAN ALL OF MY MOTHER'S BEST CLOTHING BE HOPELESS? I WANT TO KNOW!!!!!!!!!!

In the afternoon I finally had time to wrap up my mom's hair and send it to LOCKS OF LOVE. As I filled out the necessary paperwork to identify it, this hopeless concept kept gnawing at me. I hoped that it wouldn't be hopelessly outdated too although it met all of the qualifications that we had read about online.

By evening I started to suffer physically from dwelling on this negativity, so I did a BodyTalk session on myself. Nothing works like BT to bring balance, but I had waited too long. By bedtime, I was physically ill. My abdomen was so tight that I grabbed a bowl, just in case. All through family prayer time, I wondered what else I could do to settle myself down so I could sleep. I did cortices and switching again and felt quite certain that I would keep my supper down.

I felt led to put a few drops of lemon essential oil in a glass of water and drink that down. It's a little trick I've been using here lately when my nerves get to my abdomen. This helped enough so that I could sleep a few hours. All night I was up drinking lemon water which would settle my stomach down temporarily. Towards morning I remembered that Jerome, Robert's cousin, uses Green Drops for upset stomach. I added that to the lemonade and slept well for a few more hours until Cora woke me with, "Mother, it's time to get up."

Today my stomach feels like it's been in a vice all night. I did manage to help with chores this morning and we finished cleaning the flower bed out front. This HOPELESSLY OUTDATED concept is REALLY bugging me though. Being I know that God is always trying to teach me something through the events that He allows me to go through, I just out-and-out asked Him, "What is the point here?" A little while ago, something clicked inside of me and I FINALLY understood. I have viewed my family of origin as HOPELESS. God says, "Nothing is imposable with ME!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Being I'm working on packing up a box for my oldest brother, Russell, I felt led to stick a letter into it in light of this new revelation. Into the box I put the beautiful shawl that his wife, LV, had crocheted for my mom. We felt that she should get it back as she had already made one for Cora, Sharel, and I. I also put in a set of his & hers jackets that have the dates of the Eureka Centennial celebration which Russell attended 22 years ago when Cora was a baby. I put in Andrew's graduation DVD and thank you card. I added 2 funeral bulletins. We then put together a DVD of all the pictures and video clips that we have from mom's prayer service and funeral. They have absolutely nothing from these events as the rest of the family has written them off. I hope that these will be the blessing to them that I intend them to be.

Lastly I wrote this letter. I wonder if I'd have invited them to the farm had I not gotten this "Hopelessly outdated" concept drilled into my head in the past 24 hours? I'm including it so that you can see how I am feeling about my family of origin at this present moment. WOW--is a concept a powerful thing or what? Please be in prayer that this love-box will bring the healing to my brother that he so desperately needs and to me too!!! Is my family of origin truly hopeless?
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pondering,

Dawn




Dear Russell and LV,

I've thought a lot about our phone call on Independence Day, Russell. You may never know how much joy it brought me to be able to talk straight-out about feelings with SOMEBODY in this family. What a bunch!!!!!!!!!!! The good news is that we don't have to stay that way! :) We CAN have a family yet if we choose to do so, can't we? That's why I chose this border to write to you on. It's called, "Welcome to our ranch," and that's just what I'm doing. I would like to invite you both to come and stay with us here sometime when you can get away.

We have much to talk about. Did you say on the 4th, Russell, that you were in Vietnam? I'm pretty sure that's what you said, but I didn't want to interrupt you to make certain. If you were in Vietnam, then why didn't I ever know about it? I really need to try to understand our family of origin somehow.

This love-box is my attempt to show you that our family would like to keep in touch with you two. This is the shawl that you made for mom, LV. When Dad asked us to take all of mom's clothes 2 weeks ago, we found it. Robert and I agreed that you should have it back as a remembrance of mom. I hope that it is as much of a blessing to you as the ones that you made for Cora and I are to us.

I'm also sending his & her jackets from 1987 when Eureka celebrated it's 100th birthday. I don't know if you want them or not, but I recall that you were there at the time, Russell, so I thought that you may like having them too.

I've included a CD with all of the pictures that we have from the family service and the funeral for mom. We have a few short video clips too that we've included. I'm also sending a funeral bulletin for both of you too. You should have these things from our mother's funeral no matter what happened then!!!!!!!!!!! I'm also enclosing a DVD of Andrew's graduation. He sent them to everyone in the family who couldn't be with us on his special day. Thank you very much for remembering him so generously.

I want you to know that I am not willing to do "ANYTHING" like mom did to try to get this family together--my health would never take that. However, I am willing to do my part. If you would like to visit our farm sometime soon, we would love to have you come. We can't visit that far away because of the milking. I pray for peace to come to the Harvey Delzer family.

Dawn