Tempted for a few hours

A friend sent this forward out the other night. I laughed and agreed wholeheartedly--at first. Why, caring too much about what other people think of me is exactly how I came to have shingles on my brain in the first place. "WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK IF I'M OLD AND FAT???" I rebelliously agreed with the forward.


For a few hours I really enjoyed thinking this way. Why, it WAS a wonderful treat last night to eat TWO carmel rolls with the rest of the family at the end of our wonderful meal of fresh-from-the-garden veggie pizza we had made. I even balanced myself to the thought out in the barn so that the stress from such an extravagance wouldn't do more harm than the rolls did. Oh, life is good when you don't care about your health and your weight--until it isn't! I'll let you read the forward now but beg you to read my concluding thoughts of how I won the battle over my complacency regarding the pattern of gluttony which has afflicted me most of my life.

I would never trade my amazing friends; my wonderful life; my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie; or for not making
my bed; or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat; to be messy; to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old some day.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one; or when a child suffers; or even when some body's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old.. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).

So, can you see now how I could so easily be tempted to "Just temporarily" lay aside my goal of reaching my ideal weight by the New Year? After all, the author of this forward DID make some very valid points about cherishing life and not being ashamed of who I am right now. However, does that mean that I am doomed to live the rest of my life in a fat, stiff, painful body that won't do what I want it to do and that can't keep up with my family? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I SIMPLY REFUSE TO THINK THAT WAY FOR ONE MORE SECOND!!!

So, how did I motivate myself to keep on cleansing and exercising? Well, I'll show you what I did. I went into the boxes with our old pictures and found lots of pictures of me when I was skinny 20 years ago. I took pictures of 3 of them and am sharing them with you all so that you can see that I DID IT BEFORE AND I WILL DO IT AGAIN!!!!!!!! Here's that story in a nutshell.

Shortly after we married, I started eating "An extra cookie" every chance I got. Moving back to the town where the incest had taken place was setting me up for failure. How I wish that I had gotten some counseling before Robert and I married so that my failures didn't have to hurt him so much! By our 3rd anniversary, I had gained almost 100 pounds. How's that for freedom? Sure I was free to eat extra cookies any time I wanted to but, as every reasoning mind knows, for every cause there is an affect. In essence then, I was free to push the scale up to 220 pounds every time that I stood on it. ):

Praise God that He brought Shaklee into my life then as it gave me something new to focus on. In no time at all I was building my Shaklee business and I could see that the excess weight was bad for my business AND bad for my health. Soon I was resisting those second cookies and moving a little bit more and soon the weight started coming off.

After I had lost 60 pounds, Shaklee offered a 3 day class called called, SLIM UP AND LIVE in Omaha, Nebraska. Soon I was on my way with other Shaklee friends to become a SLIM UP & LIVE counsellor. When I got home all fired up to help people to lose weight, Robert and I rented a little abandoned church in Eureka so I could teach the class and I began leading exercise classes there too. Within a year from the time that had I decided that I was worth fighting for, I had lost 90 pounds and weighed in at 130 pounds. How I wish I had known then how stress affects weight and I could have kept it off.

Anyway, here are the pictures taken of me during that time. The first is Robert and I at my parent's house. He was so proud of me and I felt like a million bucks--not only because I was nice and trim but because I could move so much freer from the strong, healthy body I was building in my aerobics classes. Do you think I was feeling sorry for myself then that I had had to "GIVE UP" all of those extra cookies to get rid of the weight? NNNNNOOOOOPPPPPEEEEE! That's one NOPE for every member of my family.

I regret that this picture is so fuzzy as it was a major highlight in my life. This was after the 12 weeks of class. We had a graduation night and every member weighed in 20 or more less pounds than they had been before the class. I think the highest was 27 pounds less. I'm in the green dress and Robert is with me as I gave his mother her graduation certificate. It was a wonderful night for all of us!!!

This was another fantastic night in our lives. We had left the farm and moved to Bismarck. Robert and I got involved with an insurance company which was trying to help people to see what a rip-off whole life insurance is. Just in case you've never pondered this, life insurance companies are getting mega rich off of the people by selling them whole life insuarance. We got them to buy 10 times the amount of term insurance so they'd have adequate coverage. The rest we had them invest in mutual funds so that they, NOT THE INSURANCE COMPANIES, made the big money. The people that we dealt with then are still thanking us for helping them to see this light.

The night that this picture was taken, Robert had just gotten promoted to the position of Regional Vice President. It was a big deal and I felt so proud to be so nice and thin standing beside him as he received his promotion. Would all of the cookies in the world have made up for it if I had been fat that night? NOPE!!!!!!!

So, now I'm older and wiser and I realize that when you deprive yourself of food you shut down your metabolism and you go into starvation mode which makes you put fat on no matter what you do. One of my friends was so shut down that she was gaining weight at 200 calories per day.

What to do? Well, I have found that the Master Cleanse IS a great way to lose weight although I mostly did that to cleanse my body so that I can get well. In other words, I did it for my health and have been amply repaid with improved brain function AND the loss of 30 pounds.

Still, just as I was tempted to go back to the second cookie philosophy espoused in this forward, I became aware of another option. It was posted on my blog list under the Master Cleanse blog link. Feel free to read up on it and, if you'd like to join me, I'd be so happy and honored. The post title was, "Lose 20 pounds in 30 days." NOW THAT'S THE WAY TO THINK!!!

So I'm off and running again and I know that by focusing on the rewards of success, rather than the penalty of failure, I WILL SUCCEED. That's a quote from Dennis Waitley's THE PSYCHOLOGY OF WINNING, but that's a whole another story.

Please keep me in your prayers for, even though I feel quite confident now, I know that there is the possibility that just around the corner the "Second cookie" philosophy is bound to raise it's ugly head. You thief, you can just go away and make somebody else fat--that's what I say. AMEN?

TO YOUR HEALTH!!!