leap for joy

I praise God for Pastor Joseph Prince who preaches and administers to my heart like nobody ever has.  Why?  because he gives me hope and today he even gave me joy.

You see, recently I received a letter pointing out that I am not perfect and you know how much I dislike that thought.  However, after listening to this 6 minute video by Pastor Prince, I have JOY that I have been insulted as one living in sin.

When I first read the letter, I comforted myself by thinking, 'Everyone is living in sin,' but then it really started to smart in my heart that this special friend showed me such little grace in her letter.
The Bible says that we are to correct a brother/sister at the presence of 2 witnesses which she did NOT do.

However, as I cried out to the lord (my computer keyboard is dying and it won't capitalize l for me today but God knows that), for the response that He had for me to this ugly letter which was based strictly on hearsay and twisted by fear, this is what He gave me.

I covet your prayers as I respond the way that God wants me to and I'm asking that you will pray that God's positive will completely overwhelm my negative, helpless, sinful nature.  May my response bring joy to all people and may it open doors for healing to all involved.

For my weaknesses, He has given strength in the past and I beg of Him to do it again.

Happy Sabbath beloved ones,

Dawn

PS.  Please know that Pastor Prince is teasing about Elvis--those who don't know Pastor Prince well may wonder at those remarks. I urge you to keep watching and you will hear one of the most powerful explanations of how God works through us weak ones to do His miracles.  Praise God!!!

ANYTHING?

OK, I know that this may seem as though I've flipped but I really think that I made a wonderful discovery yesterday.  You see, while the children and Robert played, "Scotland Yard," I read the next chapter in the book that Elizabeth blessed me with called, "THE PEARL BOX."  The subtitle reads: Breaking the bondage of disease through Biblical tools for physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. 
  THIS IS AN INCREDIBLE BOOK AND I URGE EVERY CHRISTIAN TO BUY IT AND START USING IT FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY!  It's self-explanatory and there are many insights about recovering from illness that I have not read anywhere else.  The most awesome part is that the author, Sylvia Rogers, shows how to use Scripture to break the patterns of illness!!

So I was reading along and found this healing pearl:  LET THE WEAK SAY, "I AM STRONG."  Sylvia explains that when we think we are strong, we are deceiving ourselves but when we admit that we are weak, then God can come in and strengthen us for ANY personal battle that we are facing. 

  At this point, the author shared the story about a man who was trying to quit smoking.  He had tried many times to quit, but without success.  He met a pastor who offered to help him.  The man assumed that the pastor was going to tell him again to JUST STOP.  However, the pastor gave him permission to smoke as he wished with the condition that each time he thought of a cigarette; bought a pack; lit up; or took a puff, he was to proclaim out loud, "I AM FREE OF SMOKING!"   The man agreed to give it a try and had completely quit smoking within a few weeks!

"WOW" I thought, "I wonder if that would work for my battle with over-eating?" 

As I pondered this, though, I could see that it wouldn't work in exactly the same way as one cannot just stop eating forever.  I was almost ready to move on in my thinking when an interesting thought ran through my mind, "What if I stopped denying myself food?"  You know, "I can't have sesame seeds or MSG because I go anaphylactic." "I can't have strawberries and grapes because they're cooling."  "I can't have starches because they make my body store fat.".............................."

  I next heard the verse, "Behold I have come to give them life and life abundant."

"What in the world are you saying to me, Lord?" I asked.

Every once in awhile I actually hear Him speaking to me and this was one of those times.  "Dawn," He said, "you're so into protecting yourself through removing foods that may make you sick that you totally have missed that I gave you food to nourish AND to give you delight in this world." 

"DELIGHT IN FOOD?"  HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM  "What are you saying, Lord?"

"I'm saying that I want you to be able to enjoy any (clean) foods that you want to eat! I want you to ENJOY life."

"EAT ANYTHING?"

"Dawn, when you get so wrapped up in protecting yourself from food, you totally miss the blessing that I intended food to be to you mortals.  PLUS when you deny yourself a piece of bread because of the starches, it only makes you want it more.  It puts me, GOD, in the position of the bad guy for giving you the bread which is meant to be a blessing.  In this way, you have made the BREAD your god in that IT is more important to you than I am!!!!!!!!"

I was trembling with excitement and I let these thoughts sort through my mind for a few moments.  "Are you saying, Lord, that I can eat anything that I want?"

"ANYTHING--as long as you are thankful for it.  By doing this, you WILL break the hold that food has on you.  Because you are sinful, you WANT what you think you cannot have.  By making it available to yourself, You WILL break the hold that food has had on your mind through the many years of dieting."

WOW--IT WORKED.  Almost immediately after this, Cora asked me to pop some popcorn.  Now, if you know me at all, you know how much I love to pop popcorn AND to eat popcorn.  Since I've been following THE NEW ME DIET, though, I have felt guilty for enjoying it's crunchiness.  However last night when I looked at the large bowl of fresh popcorn, I told myself, "I can eat all of the popcorn that I want."  As a result, "I only ate 3 pieces" and was overjoyed knowing that I could eat the whole bowl if I had wanted to. 

Do you see what I'm saying?  Because we're sinful, we want what is not good for us.  When, in our flesh, we decide that we WILL conquer ourselves, we are doomed to fail.  However, when we let God direct our thinking, He WILL help us to conquer our sinful natures.  Maybe this wouldn't work for you, but I urge you to give it a try.  If it doesn't, though, keep asking the Lord for what will help you to overcome temptation and be prepared to enter into a truly joyful life.

Want some popcorn?

Dawn

Reiki attunements

Hi everyone,

   I hope that you had as wonderful of a Sabbath rest as I had today!  It was a bit disconcerting to have a client call me at 7:00 this morning needing help.  She had been dizzy and throwing up all night and asked for a BodyTalk session.  Although I do not work on the Sabbath, except to do good, I felt that that this was certainly a case of doing good.  I told my client that I would not charge her for the session, as that would be working.  You can just imagine that it broke her heart.  I was just so happy to be able to be there to help Jean as she was thinking about going to the emergency room. 

  After that, the day was very peaceful and comforting.  We are going through the Moody series again called, "The Wonders of God's Creation."  I sat here and just praised God for an hour and a half for the wonderful planet that He has prepared for us to live on!!!! 

Then I rested and woke to Cora telling me that the family was ready to watch a new British Broadcast Company (BBC) movie called, "North and South."  Now, I will say that here lately some of the BBC movies we've checked out from the Bismarck library were down-right boring, but Not THIS one!!! 

Packed with factory worker's strikes; a secret brother; a suicide; an unexpected inheritance; and MAJOR confusion about the true character of the hero and heroine, I was on the edge of my seat almost the entire 4 hours.  Of course, John and Margaret end up kissing in a train station so "All's well that ends well".  I would truly recommend, "North and South" to all of you who are interested in a BBC movie that is "Realistic".  No rich people walking on beaches for hours on end to nowhere for no purpose with nobody saying anything worth hearing. 

Now I need to go practice doing an attunement on my teddy bear.  "What is an attunement?" you ask.  Well, it's like this.  I have come to understand that God made us all to have healing energy flowing through our bodies so that we would not get sick or tired.  That was before sin entered the world, but  now we DO have sin.  This sin keeps us separated from God who is the healer of us all.

Well, when an attunement is done on a person, it opens up their chakras.  A chakra is an opening in our protective energy field where energy can flow in to us from the environment.  Because of sin, the chakras get plugged full of negative energy and healing energy cannot flow into the person.  The attunement process opens up the chakras so that healing can flow in to the person like it did before the fall in the Garden of Eden.

Anyway, tomorrow I am having a class for 4 people in my Bismarck office.  I'll tell them my first attunement story; explain how Reiki began on the planet; give them their attunements; and then have them give each other full Reiki treatments.  The whole thing will take between 5 and 6 hours and I am VERY excited about it.  Every person that I can attune will have the ability to harvest the energy that is all around us to bring them, or anyone they work with, healing.  Anyone who really knows me will understand how much that thrills me! 

I think that I'd like to share my first attunement story with you now while I'm thinking about it.  It was 2 years ago last Fall.  I rode with my friends, Jean and Donna, to Rugby for the afternoon.  We went to the home of a Reiki Master/Teacher who had the most peaceful living room that I have ever entered. 

 Sharon was so gracious to answer our questions before she gave us our attunements.  She had told us that many people were given visions during the process that helped them as they went on their lives.  She said that some people just saw colors, and others words, and some nothing at all.  I didn't know what to expect. 

As Sharon opened up my chakras to be in tune with God, He gave me a vision.  I saw myself nailed up on the cross.  It stunned me, and as I looked around, I saw that I was being crucified between 2 criminals just as Christ had been.  I looked down and saw many of my friends weeping for me.

"WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?" I recall crying out to God.

Into the still room, I heard God's voice saying to me, "You need to remember that any power that comes out of your hands, is from ME!  If you ever start to think otherwise, you will be put up there.  THIS IS MY WORK--NOT YOURS!!!!!!!!!"

I was trembling because I knew that God was serious--Reiki is HIS power and to be used for HIS purposes.  So how does this play out in the average person?  The Reiki energy goes against anything that is bad in the client.  For 3 days, the Reiki will clean out each of the chakras. 

Being the first chakra has to do with survival, let's say that someone has a problem with suicidal tendencies, the Reiki will go to work against that.  This is what my second attunement did for me but that's another day's story. 

Going up through the chakras, the Reiki will clean out negative thinking and habits the next 3 days in the area of sexuality; the next 3 days in the area of personal self-control; the next 3 days in the matters of the heart (self-love; receiving love from others; and giving love to others); the next 3 days with being able to express yourself verbally; the next 3 days with being intuitive; and the last 3 days the Reiki will begin to clear out problems that the client has in his relationship with God.

All of this can be tough on a client so I keep them in prayer a lot those first 21 days.  After those 21 days have passed, then the client can go on to their second attunement in Reiki 2 and the whole process starts over again, but at a deeper level.

Reiki makes us better people, it's that simple.  I love how it has helped me to learn to take responsibility for the things that I do and say rather than just walking around thinking, "I have an excuse for my impatience.... because I was abused." 

Well, I need to study a bit more and then get to bed early.  It's going to be a big day tomorrow and I covet all of your prayers.  In the meantime, if you would like to read more about Reiki, I encourage you to go to the website listed on my sidebar.  I think it's called, "Reiki for Christians." 

Thanks for listening to my rambling and I wish you all a wonderful new week.  It sure was nice outside tonight, when I went out to milk the goats, so maybe Spring really is right around the corner.

Dawn

PS.  I realized that I haven't shown a picture of my new office yet.  This is right after I moved in, but I thought I'd show it so that you can see me here and send your prayers when you think of me working in here.

THE LOSS OF ELEGANCE

THE LOSS OF ELEGANCE. Perhaps I will write a book about my feelings on this subject someday. For now, I share only a taste of my thoughts. You see, I have been accused of being melodramatic in my writings, although not recently. I have pondered this accusation seriously, not wishing to exaggerate the truth in any way. However, much of my life HAS indeed been on the dramatic side of things. For instance, it would be difficult for me to make a flippant comment about incest, or miscarriages, or cancer, or definitely not one about shingles.

Over this past weekend, while the boys were away, Cora wisely presented us with the choice of a movie, offered on U Tube, called EMMA. She thought that I would love it and she was right!!! Although Emma's lack of character on one occasion ended up causing her no small sorrow, truth wins out in the end; she confesses her sins; and is cleansed from their power over her. Furthermore, her humility wins her the love of her beloved Mr. Knightly but perhaps I should not have shared that part with you in case you are inclined to take 6 hours watching an old English movie. I cannot recommend it too highly for those who, like me, find yourselves in love with elegance of speech and manners.

Late last night then, as I sat down to send an email to Andrew, I found myself unwilling to part with the beautiful customs of those times. I knew that he would find me "Totally ridiculous" but I couldn't resist and so I sent him the following email.

To my fine young son, Andrew of Kintyre,

It would seem that I'm developing a habit of writing to you at midnight. :) Your family members stayed up and watched the last episode of "Emma" in which Mr. Knightly and Emma finally realize that they are in love with each other. OH HOW WONDERFUL!!! It did seem a bit of a surprise at first, because he is 16 years older than she is, but then one never can tell where love will come from. :) Can you have guessed that the play was written in old English, by any chaunce?

Oh, by the way, young man. Will you please remember to pick us some raspberries before you leave on your return trip? And, oh yes, you MUST remember to thank your good host and hostess immeasurably right before you leave.

I trust that your stay has been to your liking and that you will be refreshed upon your return to this place. I am most eager to see all of the photographs which you have acquired in your absence.

In fondness always,

Your maternal parent

Finding myself in continued good humor along these lines, I sent a copy of this to Cora with these words attached. The journey to which I was referring was, none other than, our trip to the Dagley farm which we both found exceedingly informational and enjoyable. I teased her that the weather was undesirable because Emma's father, in the movie, was constantly overestimating the negative affects of the weather. Yesterday, the weather was exceptionally perfect making the joke even more ridiculous. Cora found it all humorous because I have been somewhat overprotective of my offspring in a similar manner, although not so absurdly to his degrees.

Dear Miss Bornemann,

I thought that, perhaps, you would be entertained by the reading of the following correspondence which I just recently sent to your younger sibling.

I cannot overestimate the pleasure at the journey which we shared today, Miss Bornemann. I bless you immeasurably for being my lovely traveling companion on this outing. I trust that you were also joyful that we made the trip in such dire weather!

Affectionately,

Your maternal parent

This morning I was overjoyed to receive a reply to my correspondence from, none other than, my daughter. I could see that EMMA was still fresh in her memory as well as in mine. I post her reply for your reading enjoyment knowing full well that she would be delighted.

Dear mam,
Thank you very kindly for making the journey today, as I'm sure if you'd thought real hard, you could have come up with some reason why the weather was not absolutely favorable for an excursion. :) I'm glad you're not THAT concerned about the correlation between weather and health!!!!!!!!!!!!

However, I recall that, it is good for ones' health to meet with your pillow at an early hour, so I must truly be going, although early it most definitely is not.

I agree, today was truly excellent.

Farewell~

Signed--Miss Bornemann

Some small part of me will ALWAYS long for the romantic period when men were gentlemen and women were ladies and you could easily tell the two apart. If I may make one small dent in the world with my existence, I would have it be that the sexes would again draw their distinctions and find the joy in the obvious differences. For in only this fashion, have all of the needs been met and all of the hearts found their joy in a simple walk with a friend.

I will add that I had such a joy yesterday afternoon as I found myself helped over the rocks in the Dagley stream by my old friend, Steven Schadler. It was MOST agreeable to me and he didn't seem to mind in the least. So I see, therefore, that my desire is not only for a return of refinement in manners and speech between spouses, but between ALL gentlemen and ladies whenever and wherever they should happen to meet. AS IT WAS ONCE, MAY IT BE SO AGAIN UPON THE EARTH.

Tempted for a few hours

A friend sent this forward out the other night. I laughed and agreed wholeheartedly--at first. Why, caring too much about what other people think of me is exactly how I came to have shingles on my brain in the first place. "WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK IF I'M OLD AND FAT???" I rebelliously agreed with the forward.


For a few hours I really enjoyed thinking this way. Why, it WAS a wonderful treat last night to eat TWO carmel rolls with the rest of the family at the end of our wonderful meal of fresh-from-the-garden veggie pizza we had made. I even balanced myself to the thought out in the barn so that the stress from such an extravagance wouldn't do more harm than the rolls did. Oh, life is good when you don't care about your health and your weight--until it isn't! I'll let you read the forward now but beg you to read my concluding thoughts of how I won the battle over my complacency regarding the pattern of gluttony which has afflicted me most of my life.

I would never trade my amazing friends; my wonderful life; my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie; or for not making
my bed; or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat; to be messy; to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old some day.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one; or when a child suffers; or even when some body's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old.. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).

So, can you see now how I could so easily be tempted to "Just temporarily" lay aside my goal of reaching my ideal weight by the New Year? After all, the author of this forward DID make some very valid points about cherishing life and not being ashamed of who I am right now. However, does that mean that I am doomed to live the rest of my life in a fat, stiff, painful body that won't do what I want it to do and that can't keep up with my family? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I SIMPLY REFUSE TO THINK THAT WAY FOR ONE MORE SECOND!!!

So, how did I motivate myself to keep on cleansing and exercising? Well, I'll show you what I did. I went into the boxes with our old pictures and found lots of pictures of me when I was skinny 20 years ago. I took pictures of 3 of them and am sharing them with you all so that you can see that I DID IT BEFORE AND I WILL DO IT AGAIN!!!!!!!! Here's that story in a nutshell.

Shortly after we married, I started eating "An extra cookie" every chance I got. Moving back to the town where the incest had taken place was setting me up for failure. How I wish that I had gotten some counseling before Robert and I married so that my failures didn't have to hurt him so much! By our 3rd anniversary, I had gained almost 100 pounds. How's that for freedom? Sure I was free to eat extra cookies any time I wanted to but, as every reasoning mind knows, for every cause there is an affect. In essence then, I was free to push the scale up to 220 pounds every time that I stood on it. ):

Praise God that He brought Shaklee into my life then as it gave me something new to focus on. In no time at all I was building my Shaklee business and I could see that the excess weight was bad for my business AND bad for my health. Soon I was resisting those second cookies and moving a little bit more and soon the weight started coming off.

After I had lost 60 pounds, Shaklee offered a 3 day class called called, SLIM UP AND LIVE in Omaha, Nebraska. Soon I was on my way with other Shaklee friends to become a SLIM UP & LIVE counsellor. When I got home all fired up to help people to lose weight, Robert and I rented a little abandoned church in Eureka so I could teach the class and I began leading exercise classes there too. Within a year from the time that had I decided that I was worth fighting for, I had lost 90 pounds and weighed in at 130 pounds. How I wish I had known then how stress affects weight and I could have kept it off.

Anyway, here are the pictures taken of me during that time. The first is Robert and I at my parent's house. He was so proud of me and I felt like a million bucks--not only because I was nice and trim but because I could move so much freer from the strong, healthy body I was building in my aerobics classes. Do you think I was feeling sorry for myself then that I had had to "GIVE UP" all of those extra cookies to get rid of the weight? NNNNNOOOOOPPPPPEEEEE! That's one NOPE for every member of my family.

I regret that this picture is so fuzzy as it was a major highlight in my life. This was after the 12 weeks of class. We had a graduation night and every member weighed in 20 or more less pounds than they had been before the class. I think the highest was 27 pounds less. I'm in the green dress and Robert is with me as I gave his mother her graduation certificate. It was a wonderful night for all of us!!!

This was another fantastic night in our lives. We had left the farm and moved to Bismarck. Robert and I got involved with an insurance company which was trying to help people to see what a rip-off whole life insurance is. Just in case you've never pondered this, life insurance companies are getting mega rich off of the people by selling them whole life insuarance. We got them to buy 10 times the amount of term insurance so they'd have adequate coverage. The rest we had them invest in mutual funds so that they, NOT THE INSURANCE COMPANIES, made the big money. The people that we dealt with then are still thanking us for helping them to see this light.

The night that this picture was taken, Robert had just gotten promoted to the position of Regional Vice President. It was a big deal and I felt so proud to be so nice and thin standing beside him as he received his promotion. Would all of the cookies in the world have made up for it if I had been fat that night? NOPE!!!!!!!

So, now I'm older and wiser and I realize that when you deprive yourself of food you shut down your metabolism and you go into starvation mode which makes you put fat on no matter what you do. One of my friends was so shut down that she was gaining weight at 200 calories per day.

What to do? Well, I have found that the Master Cleanse IS a great way to lose weight although I mostly did that to cleanse my body so that I can get well. In other words, I did it for my health and have been amply repaid with improved brain function AND the loss of 30 pounds.

Still, just as I was tempted to go back to the second cookie philosophy espoused in this forward, I became aware of another option. It was posted on my blog list under the Master Cleanse blog link. Feel free to read up on it and, if you'd like to join me, I'd be so happy and honored. The post title was, "Lose 20 pounds in 30 days." NOW THAT'S THE WAY TO THINK!!!

So I'm off and running again and I know that by focusing on the rewards of success, rather than the penalty of failure, I WILL SUCCEED. That's a quote from Dennis Waitley's THE PSYCHOLOGY OF WINNING, but that's a whole another story.

Please keep me in your prayers for, even though I feel quite confident now, I know that there is the possibility that just around the corner the "Second cookie" philosophy is bound to raise it's ugly head. You thief, you can just go away and make somebody else fat--that's what I say. AMEN?

TO YOUR HEALTH!!!

Depth

One day Robert was commenting how people really seem to enjoy Cora's blog. He said, "She's just so full of life that it's fun to read her blog."

Now this was when he had a serious head cold AND he was walking away from me making it hard for me to hear. On top of this, my mother had just died. I was curious about something so I asked him, "And how would you describe my blog."

He thought a few seconds and I heard him say, "Full of death."

"Thanks a LOT," I thought and proceeded to give him the cold shoulder.

Praise the Lord that Robert looked at me just then and noticed something amiss.

"What did you think I said?" he asked me.

"Full of death," I replied.

Then he laughed and said, "What I said was, 'Full of DEPTH'!"

I laughed then too but it made me realize that perhaps it would be wise for me to "Warn" all of you when I'm in a particularly "DEEP" mood. That way you can go to Cora's blog if you're not ready for the somber thoughts I have at times. Consider yourself warned.

Today I seemed distant from everyone--sometimes we call it being "Off" around here. It was like the Lord was trying to show me something and I needed to pay more attention to Him. I felt so alone over at the Braddock quasi celebration, although my family was all around me. It was as though I needed to step back and look at what was going on as though I weren't in the scene. What I saw saddened me like never before.

Perhaps I was more aware of this because I had just read what the American Family Association (AFA) was saying about our country dropping God out of EVERYTHING. Essentially we are becoming a pagan country--breaking the heart of our God who made us great when we had humble hearts towards him and each other.

Most of the women that I saw were in a state of semi-nakedness. It wasn't just the young women either. I watched how they teased the men in their lives with their bodies. I grew up watching and doing this, having gone through the system, but today it was just so repulsive to me. How are men supposed to focus on morality when their major weakness of sight is used against them by the very women they are to protect? I saw my younger self in this and was deeply grieved. It made me angry that my father didn't care enough about me to warn me to cover my body and keep it to myself--to save it for that special someone who would come later.

Of course I've repented of flaunting my body before any male in sight but that doesn't mean that I don't have regrets.

Most of the males I saw were either drinking; had been drinking; or were talking about going drinking. Praise the Lord that Robert walked away from that scene while in collage and our sons think it's stupid. When we were watching the Strolling Strings, this half drunk man in his 70s tried to get his body into the seat next to me. HE MISSED!!!! He ended up sitting half on my lap and half on the seat next to me. Not only was this disgusting but it HURT MY BACK SOMETHING AWFUL WHEN HE FELL ON ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I was soooooooooooooooo grossed out.

We left shortly after the violinists did. I was so grieved in my spirit that I just wanted to get out of there. Earlier, while we were sitting trying to stomach the bad harmony of one of the groups, I looked around and said to Robert, "I wonder if there is anybody here, other than us, who REALLY loves the Lord!!! I looked for that peace that one bears when they know that they are within the will of God for their lives. I looked for someone who was truly happy with themselves and with their family. Then I started looking for another family. There were precious few families present. You know, Dad and Mom and children--a FAMILY. A family sitting together; laughing together; loving each other--a FAMILY.

My heart is so heavy now as I ponder the demise of the family in our culture. One lady earlier in the day had said that within 25 years there will be no more small towns in North Dakota. WHAT? NO SMALL TOWNS? Well, isn't it true that families built the small towns? The men had their own businesses; the women tended their homes well; and the children learned from both parents what it meant to be a responsible adult. WHERE HAS ALL OF THIS GONE?

I chose this picture because it is how I'm feeling right now. I'm sorry to be so long-faced, but I did warn you at the beginning of this post that I was in a somber mood. I thank God that He has always given me a pet to love during the dark years of my life. Thank God for writing too!

I'm also going to share something that I read on the way over to look at the fireworks. As I've shared before, I am reading the book ERLING THE BOLD to the family during meals when I don't eat or if we're all in the vehicle together. This stirred me up to realize how far we have drifted from true nobility of thought and purpose. Maybe if everyone in the whole country would read about Erling's tremendous devotion to protecting the freedom of the people of Norway from their tyrant king, we the people would wake up and rid ourselves of the complacency which threatens our freedoms as well. I quote from chapter 20:

Haldor looked full in (his son)Erling's face, and his own noble countenance glowed with an expression of majesty which cannot be described, and which arose from the deep conviction that one of the most momentous eras in his life had arrived--a period in which his own fate and that of all he held most dear would in all probability be sealed. Death or victory, he felt assured, were now the alternatives; and when he reflected on the great power of the King, and the stern necessity there was for the exertion of not only the utmost bravery, but the most consummate skill, his whole being glowed with suppressed emotion, while his bearing betokened the presence, and bore the dignified stamp of a settled purpose to do his best, and meet his fate for weal or woe, manfully.

Once I read in Fascinating Womanhood, "If chivalry is dead, then we women have killed it." If it is true that we women weaken our men, by thinking we are so tough that we have no need for our men to be strong like Haldor and Erling were, we deserve to have our men be so weak that only alcohol and women's bodies inspire them. Oh God please forgive me for when I have done this to the men that you have put in my life. Oh God, PLEASE save our land if that is yet possible.

Frustrated and Farming

This is ridiculous. I have been feasting since Sunday night after half a month of fasting on the Master Cleanse. This means that in the past 48 hours I have had several white flour buns; lots of our baked beans; plenty of tortilla chips with salsa and hot cheese dip; 1 glass of punch; and 3 pieces of cake. Today I have a sore throat. How can that be? I fought off Robert's bug for almost a month as long as I stayed off of sugar and white flour. Now just a few "Cheats" later, I have a sore throat which is how Robert's bug started. ): I guess I just cannot handle sugar and that's that. Of course, I also know that stress plays a role in weakening our immune systems and I've had a little of that this weekend too.

Then today I GOT to drive tractor most of the afternoon. I was complaining to Robert that I kept picking up rocks in between the disc blades. This means that I had to take the 100 pound (only a slight exaggeration) disc wrench out to the disc. After using leverage to pry the rocks out, I had to drag that thing back to the cab; hoist it up to the floor of the cab which is about 2 feet above my head; climb back in the tractor; and then lift it over the seat as it rests behind the seat. Robert told me not to complain about being held up with all of this because, when I was finished discing, I get to pick rocks. LOVELY!!!!!!!

I finally got the field finished about 4:00 and then did some deep reciprocals while I waited for Cora and Jacob to pick me up with the 9030. Jacob drove and Cora and I picked rocks until 7:00. It was cool and damp and miserable and my throat started to REALLY hurt. This was when I decided that I better get back to placing my health as a priority.

So I'm going in to my room to exercise. According to Peggy Brill, the author of the Core program, you should never skip more than 2 days in a row or your muscles will start to go backwards. I didn't do it last night because I wanted to finish my post about the graduation party. I didn't exercise for 2 nights before as I was at the graduation party or preparing for it, but now I am going. My neck and shoulders really ache and that is the best antidote, so I'm going now. :)

Can you tell that I'm trying to talk myself into this? Why is it that I never need to talk myself into eating sugar or white flour, when I know that they are bad for me? Why must I talk hard to convince myself that it is time to exercise or mix up a new batch of lemonade? I suppose the reason is that I am a sinner and like Paul says, "That which I would not, I do; and that which I would do, I don't." Sometimes I get so sick of the sin in me that I could just scream, "Why didn't anybody love me enough to use the rod on me when I was little?" Proverbs 22:15 says, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." Now I am stuck as an adult, with all of this foolishness in me, and I have to wait until God can get through my thick skull to prune it out of me. PLEASE FORGIVE ME, LORD, AND DO YOUR GOOD WORK IN SPITE OF ME TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!