New Year's resolutions

How can it be that January is almost over and I haven't written to wish everyone a Happy New Year yet? First we had the flue; then we were dealing with sick calves because of the temperature fluctuations; and now we're trying to hit the books more seriously. We've set Andrew's graduation date for June 8th, so that is incentive to get moving big time. Then too, we always have the milking to contend with.

We had a surprise right before the new year started. It wasn't really a surprise because we kind of had our suspicions, but we were guaranteed, "Almost 100%" that the last 3 goats we bought were not bred. This is a picture of Jed Clamp-it which proves one must be 100% positive of such things when you live in ND. The mother had triplets, 2 of which froze. We took Jed into the house and he lived in the kitchen for 2 weeks. After that we could leave him with his mama during the days. Now at night we put him, and the other kid we inherited out of the deal, in a dog kennel in the milk room so the house is quiet again and smells a lot better too. Still, I miss my baby. Look at those wonderful Nubian ears!



I made 3 New Year's resolutions this year. The first may seem like one big DAH to you all, but it's been growing in my mind for awhile. You see, I've always had a heart of compassion for the underdogs of life. I absolutely cannot tolerate anyone being cruel to another person for any reason. Yet I have seen recently, that I have been terribly cruel to myself in many ways. I was abused as a child and I guess I thought that is how I should be treated. Although the years of recovery work have taught me to defend myself from the attacks of others, I couldn't see that I was more cruel to myself than anyone in my life now.
Last Fall I shared a very special day with some friends when the Lord showed me clearly how it hurt Him when I am cruel to myself. I had never thought of it like that before. I had never thought that God would be wounded by my self-abuse. It made me weap before His throne and , after I repented, my mind opened to the possibility that perhaps He wants me to be as kind to myself as I am to everybody else. I have been more observant of this now and have made it my resolution to treat myself as sweetly as I treat everybody else. This is resolution number 1 and it has led to much happiness in my life. :)
Resolution # 2 has to do with the farm. For a long time I've wanted to post a sort of diary about our farm activities. Years ago a friend told us that one of the biggest money makers for rural people to consider is offering city people a chance to come to the farm and see what it's really like to care for animals; to till the soil; and to produce your own food. Our friend had a travel-agent friend who was looking for farmers who would do this. The agency was charging each family member $1,000 a week to go out and work on the farms. We had pondered it at the time but decided not to get involved while our children were so young and impressionable. Still, just knowing that many city people would like to have contact with farmers has made me want to do something to help them.
I figured if I could write a journal of our activities, maybe folks could feel a little closer to the land. I wondered how to do this long before I started this blog and now I have the avenue here. I decided to track the life of this adorable little calf who is living in the barn right now. I will tell you about her, as we go along, and you can get a picture of how long it takes a critter to mature and how her personality develops. Oh yes, they all have their own personalities.
Actually we have 3 calves in the middle section of the barn which is considered the hospital.
The first is Mabel who almost died with something called nervous coccidiosis. She's big, weighing in at about 400 pounds and is looking like she may pull through. Secondly is Daisy who weighs about 250 pounds and was pulled off of a stock cow when she got sick with pneumonia. Lastly is this sweet little girl calf, called a heifer, who was born on a bitter cold night not long ago. When choosing her name, I considered my favorite flower bed blossoms--Shasta daisies. So her name is Shasta and she is a heart-breaker. I will post her picture soon and I will tell you about her antics so that you too can fall in love with this little princess.
So my second new year's resolution is to keep you folks up-to-date about farm life by tracking
activities through Shasta's eyes. By focusing on one animal, it will be easier for me to keep up with this goal of sharing the country life with those who aren't so fortunate as to be living out here in the great outdoors.
My 3rd New Year's resolution has to do with this perfectionism that rules my life. I am a melancholy/sanguine cross disposition. The melancholy must have things perfect while the sanguine just wants to be with people. This has translated in my life to mean that I think I must be perfect when I am with people--and when I am not. That's a big part of the reason that I developed shingles on my brain in 2006. I think that I mentioned this tendency in my first post.
It's so hard for me to just sit down here and write without editing everything as I go along because wouldn't it be terrible if I were to misspell a word or leave out a comma or mix my tenses? That is probably why it's January 25th and I still haven't written to wish everyone all of God's best in the New Year. Cora helped me with this today though.
I told her that I AM GOING TO FINISH THIS WRITING TODAY!!!!!!!!!!! She said, "Mom, want a tip? If you would just feel free to sit down and just write a little post, instead of thinking that it has to be a book, perhaps you would be able to keep up with it better." DAH AGAIN!!!
But I have so much that I want to say and it has to be PERFECT!!!
So I'm going to combine all of these thoughts now and, when I do, I come up with this. I don't have to be perfect, because I'm not anyway, so I'll be kind to myself and just write a little bit as the inspiration comes up. If things aren't worded perfectly, please forgive me. This blog is supposed to be therapy for me and not just one more burden.
So there, I've fessed up and I feel better. Now that I've learned how to put pictures on, things should be more interesting for you.
The last thing that I want to talk about has to do with my newest attempts to get back to wellness. The Lord has led me to a program called THE MASTER CLEANSE. It's also been called the lemonade diet. I'm starting tomorrow and I would like all of your prayers to be strong in my convictions to stay on it for 10 days. Many people have found it to be the only way to get completely well after a major illness. You can get the details by goggling MASTER CLEANSE.
The author of the book I read recommended blogging during the 10 days to encourage others to pursue this detoxification process. And so I will share with you my experiences each day of the cleanse. Now that is my goal and perfection demands that I do it every day. However, I know now that it probably won't happen every day. So I shall be kind to myself and say that I will write when I can.
Thanks for all of your support and I covet your prayers as I continue my recovery from shingles on my brain.