What do you get? Part 2

What do you get when you put Elizabeth Hanson

 and Dawn Bornemann

 and Roxy Bolz

 and Donna Berger

 in the same room for 2 days watching Dr. Veltheim give 30 BodyTalk sessions?

 What do you get when you put 8 North Dakotans and Dr. Veltheim, who is from Australia, in the same room for 2 days?

 What do you get when you put Dawn Bornemann in the same room for 2 days with Dr. Veltheim who wrote the program which saved Dawn Bornemann's life?

 What do you get when you put Dawn Bornemann together with Dr. Veltheim, who wrote the program which saved Dawn Bornemann's life, PLUS Elizabeth Hanson who used the program which saved Dawn Bornemann's life?

The answer to all of these questions is that you get Dawn Bornemann.

You get Dawn Bornemann ALIVE and HAPPY to be a BodyTalk Practitioner

for exactly FIVE YEARS TODAY!!!

How can I ever thank you, Dr. Veltheim, and you, Elizabeth Hanson for saving my life?

How does one go about the mammoth task of thanking someone for saving their life?

The only answer that I have to THAT question is to imitate what they did and go about the task

of saving the lives that God brings to me in the next 5 years.  They say that immitation is the sincerest form of flattery and so I immitate those who saved me from suicide.  Yes, it's true that many who have had shingles commit suicide as the pain is never ending.

Hats off to Dr. John Veltheim;

Hats off to Advanced BodyTalk Practitioner and BodyTalk Access Instructor, Elizabeth Hanson;

and

Hats off to ME!!!

It's great to be alive!

It's even greater to be able to make a REAL difference in the lives of others as I work with them.  When I think that I am helping others like the 2 in the photo above have helped me, it makes me the happiest that I have ever been.  It makes me happy to sign my professional communications like this:

Dawn Bornemann

BS--Bachelor of Science

 CBPA--Certified BodyTalk Practitioner + Animal Talk

RMT--Reiki Master/Teacher

RO--Radionics operator

EFT--Emotional Freedom Technique

Although it's been a very tough 5 years, just look at all that God has brought me through.  Five years ago this morning, I had just had had my 500th bee sting.  I drove the 60 miles to Bismarck alone but was unsure if I'd be able to drive home or not.

After 8 hours in Elizabeth's Access class, I felt better than I'd felt in an entire year and it marked the beginning of my total recovery from a lifetime of abuse and stress.

I repeat--it's GREAT to be alive and just look at whom the Lord has put into my life as a result of my taking Elizabeth's Access class 5 years ago today.

Do you know how many people Dr. Velthiem and Elizabeth have helped through BodyTalk?  I'm sure that it's limitless and now I can help others too.

Today on my 5th anniversary as a BodyTalker, all I can say to summarize here is that I am humbled and honored all at the same time to be a part of the BodyTalk community!

PRAISE GOD FOR BODYTALK!!!!!  That's one exclamation point for each one in my family.

GOD BE PRAISED!

You may be wondering what I see as the next step for me?  Why to become an Access instructor like Elizabeth--but I'll save that for part 3 of this series, "What do you get?"

I welcome you to check out the website of the International BodyTalk Association here: www.bodytalksystem.com.  You can even go to the Practitioner's page and find me listed there.  Why, you could even send me an email at: linkstohealing@gmail.com and ask for a session and begin your journey towards a wellness and wholeness that you may never have imagined possible.  I know that I could not have imagined, 5 years ago as I drove to my very first BodyTalk class, how much personal growth would come out of it.  I'm a new person, with a new brain, and a new vision and I welcome you to join me on the journey.

Dawn Bornemann   BS CBPA   RMT  RO  EFT

Reiki attunements

Hi everyone,

   I hope that you had as wonderful of a Sabbath rest as I had today!  It was a bit disconcerting to have a client call me at 7:00 this morning needing help.  She had been dizzy and throwing up all night and asked for a BodyTalk session.  Although I do not work on the Sabbath, except to do good, I felt that that this was certainly a case of doing good.  I told my client that I would not charge her for the session, as that would be working.  You can just imagine that it broke her heart.  I was just so happy to be able to be there to help Jean as she was thinking about going to the emergency room. 

  After that, the day was very peaceful and comforting.  We are going through the Moody series again called, "The Wonders of God's Creation."  I sat here and just praised God for an hour and a half for the wonderful planet that He has prepared for us to live on!!!! 

Then I rested and woke to Cora telling me that the family was ready to watch a new British Broadcast Company (BBC) movie called, "North and South."  Now, I will say that here lately some of the BBC movies we've checked out from the Bismarck library were down-right boring, but Not THIS one!!! 

Packed with factory worker's strikes; a secret brother; a suicide; an unexpected inheritance; and MAJOR confusion about the true character of the hero and heroine, I was on the edge of my seat almost the entire 4 hours.  Of course, John and Margaret end up kissing in a train station so "All's well that ends well".  I would truly recommend, "North and South" to all of you who are interested in a BBC movie that is "Realistic".  No rich people walking on beaches for hours on end to nowhere for no purpose with nobody saying anything worth hearing. 

Now I need to go practice doing an attunement on my teddy bear.  "What is an attunement?" you ask.  Well, it's like this.  I have come to understand that God made us all to have healing energy flowing through our bodies so that we would not get sick or tired.  That was before sin entered the world, but  now we DO have sin.  This sin keeps us separated from God who is the healer of us all.

Well, when an attunement is done on a person, it opens up their chakras.  A chakra is an opening in our protective energy field where energy can flow in to us from the environment.  Because of sin, the chakras get plugged full of negative energy and healing energy cannot flow into the person.  The attunement process opens up the chakras so that healing can flow in to the person like it did before the fall in the Garden of Eden.

Anyway, tomorrow I am having a class for 4 people in my Bismarck office.  I'll tell them my first attunement story; explain how Reiki began on the planet; give them their attunements; and then have them give each other full Reiki treatments.  The whole thing will take between 5 and 6 hours and I am VERY excited about it.  Every person that I can attune will have the ability to harvest the energy that is all around us to bring them, or anyone they work with, healing.  Anyone who really knows me will understand how much that thrills me! 

I think that I'd like to share my first attunement story with you now while I'm thinking about it.  It was 2 years ago last Fall.  I rode with my friends, Jean and Donna, to Rugby for the afternoon.  We went to the home of a Reiki Master/Teacher who had the most peaceful living room that I have ever entered. 

 Sharon was so gracious to answer our questions before she gave us our attunements.  She had told us that many people were given visions during the process that helped them as they went on their lives.  She said that some people just saw colors, and others words, and some nothing at all.  I didn't know what to expect. 

As Sharon opened up my chakras to be in tune with God, He gave me a vision.  I saw myself nailed up on the cross.  It stunned me, and as I looked around, I saw that I was being crucified between 2 criminals just as Christ had been.  I looked down and saw many of my friends weeping for me.

"WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?" I recall crying out to God.

Into the still room, I heard God's voice saying to me, "You need to remember that any power that comes out of your hands, is from ME!  If you ever start to think otherwise, you will be put up there.  THIS IS MY WORK--NOT YOURS!!!!!!!!!"

I was trembling because I knew that God was serious--Reiki is HIS power and to be used for HIS purposes.  So how does this play out in the average person?  The Reiki energy goes against anything that is bad in the client.  For 3 days, the Reiki will clean out each of the chakras. 

Being the first chakra has to do with survival, let's say that someone has a problem with suicidal tendencies, the Reiki will go to work against that.  This is what my second attunement did for me but that's another day's story. 

Going up through the chakras, the Reiki will clean out negative thinking and habits the next 3 days in the area of sexuality; the next 3 days in the area of personal self-control; the next 3 days in the matters of the heart (self-love; receiving love from others; and giving love to others); the next 3 days with being able to express yourself verbally; the next 3 days with being intuitive; and the last 3 days the Reiki will begin to clear out problems that the client has in his relationship with God.

All of this can be tough on a client so I keep them in prayer a lot those first 21 days.  After those 21 days have passed, then the client can go on to their second attunement in Reiki 2 and the whole process starts over again, but at a deeper level.

Reiki makes us better people, it's that simple.  I love how it has helped me to learn to take responsibility for the things that I do and say rather than just walking around thinking, "I have an excuse for my impatience.... because I was abused." 

Well, I need to study a bit more and then get to bed early.  It's going to be a big day tomorrow and I covet all of your prayers.  In the meantime, if you would like to read more about Reiki, I encourage you to go to the website listed on my sidebar.  I think it's called, "Reiki for Christians." 

Thanks for listening to my rambling and I wish you all a wonderful new week.  It sure was nice outside tonight, when I went out to milk the goats, so maybe Spring really is right around the corner.

Dawn

PS.  I realized that I haven't shown a picture of my new office yet.  This is right after I moved in, but I thought I'd show it so that you can see me here and send your prayers when you think of me working in here.

Focusing on the Positive

The Lord absolutely amazes me!!! I mean it's like HE REALLY KNOWS MY NEEDS AT ALL TIMES. Last night Cora left for the weekend. That may seem like nothing to most of you but Cora and I are VERY close!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We've always been close as I chose to live for her (so that she would have my protection) instead of blowing my brains out when she wasn't even 2 years old so that's 21 years ago now. Then 3 years ago she repaid the favor by giving me 5 bee stings a day for a year. I'M TELLING YOU THAT SHE AND I ARE VERY CLOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This trip of Cora's to Montana with the Dagley family just seems like a terrible testing for me! I'm just going to be honest here and say that I truly am thankful that it's the Dagley's who are going to be coming home without their daughter instead of us. Yet I realize that the day most likely will come when it WILL be Robert and I who have an empty room in our house some day.

Still, it's not only that. My daughter is going to be the maid of honor in a wedding and I don't EVEN GET TO SEE HER!!!!!!!!!! Because of the dairy, we need to stay here and handle the chores so that we can't ever all go somewhere together. So be honest now, if your daughter/son was in a wedding party, wouldn't you want to go and see her/him in the wedding? I prayed a lot about this and feel strongly that I'm supposed to let her go alone and be her own person without me around. OUCH!!!!!!!!!! OH HELP, LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think the fact that I've had repeated miscarriages must play a role in strengthening our mother/daughter bond. Every time one of my babies died, Cora grieved right along with me! She kept praying and praying with me that she'd have a little sister some day. It never happened and little by little we both had to give up that hope until now there is none at all. It is our shared sorrow and one that comes up frequently in her BodyTalk sessions. I pray that she will be completely at peace about miscarriages before her knight in shining armor appears.

Because we are so close, I do pray almost every day that she will settle nearby us on a farm with her husband. Still, I'm not so greedy as to want this at the expense of her misery! That's why when a totally unacceptable young neighbor was interested in her, I was able to accept Robert's advice. He said at that time, "Would you really want her living close by if you would have to see how miserable she was every day?" WHOA. NO--I WANT HER TO BE HAPPY MORE THAN I WANT HER TO BE CLOSE. However, my first choice would be to have her be happy nearby!!!

All of these thoughts tended to make my spirits heavy this morning, especially when I woke up to find Cora's room empty. That's why I said at the beginning of this post, that the Lord always knows what I need. After the boys and I finished chores this morning, I came in to find this forward from a friend. I laughed so hard and I knew that I should share these with others who may be heavy hearted this morning too. I pray that you will embrace the beauty of the day and the joy of the relationships that God DID put into your life today. I'm praying that for me too!!!

Sabbath blessings,

Dawn

Kids Are Quick

____________________________________

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.

____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.. (I Love this kid) ____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. _______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I.

' MILLIE: "I is"...

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' ________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. ______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. ______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

___________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher

__________________________________

SHARE THIS WITH OTHERS AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!

LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!

MC3--Days 7 & 8

Some day I'm going to be thin. I'm just telling you as I tell myself. Someday I am going to be the exact opposite of what my brother's used to tell me after they abused me. They used to say, "You're so stupid, fat, and ugly that no man will ever love you." I believed them too.

I used to always kick myself when I did something less than average in the intelligent department. I'd say, "See, they were right--I AM STUPID." It's taken getting a 4-year degree; scoring very well on the National Teacher's Exam; passing the insurance agent exam; and scoring above the doctor and lawyer level on the GATB test for me to accept that I am NOT stupid.

The ugly part is something that I can't figure out exactly how to go about convincing myself of otherwise. I guess BodyTalk has helped more than anything, to show me the beauty that God put into all of the intricacies that make up me, but it's still something that I struggle with. Sometimes Robert will say to me, "You KNOW that is a lie, Dawn, as I love you and I am very definitely a man!!!" Being as we just celebrated 29 years of marriage, he MUST really mean it!!!

Now the fat part is just plain too obvious to be debatable. I mean there's just NO QUESTION of that part not being true. I've believed that I was doomed to be fat for as long as I can remember that this is what I have become!!! Pretty stupid, huh?

Well, I praise God that He has led me to BodyTalk, EFT, and Dr. David Illig's Success World cassette program. I've never written about Dr. Illig yet but I found him on a shelf in the thrift store in Bismark marked $1 at the end of August. I have been soooooooooooooo blessed with his work as I listen to the tape which reprograms the subconscious mind to come into line with the truth.

WOW!!! I have really come to believe now that I WILL BE THIN SOME DAY!!! If I didn't, I wouldn't be in Andrew's room right now typing on this blog post. I would be out at the supper table with my men folk eating the Barbecued Beef pizza that Cora and I made for them and the poppy seed cake that Jacob made for the Sabbath feast. Oh yes, I'd be sipping the warm mulled apple cider in a mug instead of a tall glass of kombucha seeing as I'm a bit weary of the lemonade right now.

So, you see, I'm writing to all of you about the sacrifices that I'm making to get thin. I want you all to know that this is day 8 of the Master Cleanse diet and it'll be a whole 'nother week until I get to sip some of that apple cider. It's not that I want your pity but it's that I don't want your jealousy when I AM THIN!!!

Let me tell you about a situation that used to hold me back before Dr. Illig came along. This was almost 30 years ago when the trauma of moving back to my home town (when I married Robert) got me to eating big time. It wasn't long before I was up to 220 pounds and nobody would have argued with me then that I was fat.

Well, some ladies from my church decided to start a weight loss "Club." I attended regularly and decided to do something about my problem. It wasn't long and I'd lost 60 pounds. One night I met one of these "Friends" face to face in church accidentally. She stared at me and blurted out these words in a gut-wrenching spiteful voice, "I HATE YOU, DAWN BORNEMANN."

I was so shocked that I burst into tears and ran out to my car. I never spoke to her again and I slowly started putting the weight back on. Somehow I got the message that, if I wanted to have any friends, I needed to stay fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It wasn't until I started learning BT that I came to understand that we live about 90% of our lives in our subconscious. So, every time I tried to lose weight in the past, or keep it off after I'd lost it, something down below said, "You're going to lose your friends because they're going to be jealous of your success Dawn."

Isn't that amazing??????????? So, tonight while I'm keeping myself from the feast of Sabbath, which is the highlight of the week for our family, I am in here telling myself that I AM GOING TO BE THIN SOMEDAY. It WILL be worth the effort to lose all of the weight--no matter what anybody says or thinks. I AM taking better care of myself now and I AM feeling better and that IS pretty smart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO THERE!!!

It was great yesterday, at the big rummage sale in town, to look at smaller clothes!!! The highlight of the day for me was when I was digging through the underwear box. I always majorally disinfect everything that I buy which isn't new so I was "Just looking." There was something with blue stripes in the box which looked kind of interesting but I couldn't figure out what it was. Suddenly I got it all turned around and held it up to reveal the largest pair of ladies' underwear that I have ever seen in my entire life. I mean they were 3 times the size of mine.

My neighbor, who was volunteering their, was nearby. I said held them up for her to see and said, "Hey, Tanya, THINGS COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE!!!!" She cracked up and we sent laughter bouncing off the hallways of the parochial school. Cora joined in and it felt sooooooo good to have my weight down to the point now where I don't feel like I AM THE BIGGEST PERSON IN THE WORLD ANYMORE!!!!!

Still, I covet your prayers as I push on to greater healing and greater strength. We're half way through this cleanse now and Cora and I are cheering each other on. It really is MUCH easier to do with someone else. The only problem that we have now is that neither one of us wants to cook. She's lost over 10 pounds and I'm almost there so that IS encouraging.

We had a ball at the sale and brought home 4 HUGE black garbage bags full and 2 grocery bags full for the grand total of $27.20. Now that's what I call SHOPPING!!!! Today we've been washing everything and putting away the summer things in the attic. It's always been a large chore for me to manage the change of clothing exchange at the end of Winter and Summer. It's so nice now that the children are older now and can do their own.

We're still working on apples but are finishing up on the tomatoes. Cora has been such a blessing in this area. The guys have been working on the combines to get them ready for the sunflower harvest. It won't be the crop that we had hoped for this Spring, when things were wet, but God always meets our needs one way or the other!!!

Today the Lord struck home the message that I've been sensing He was hinting at yesterday with the turkeys. I had broken open one of the large squashes that are waiting for the goats and chased the turkeys over to it. They walked right by it. I got out of there so that I wouldn't chase them away but they still didn't see that I had given them so food. It was so exasperating and I knew that God was telling me that HE GETS TIRED OF ME AT TIMES TOO WHEN HE'S TRYING TO HELP ME AND I WON'T LET HIM.

Well, this afternoon Ellen called to tell me that somebody we know committed suicide. I was just stunned as she's been working in the BodyTalk clinic in Bismarck for X years and I met her in 2007 in Modules 1 & 2. Ellen said that she learned that every time us BodyTalkers met to practice, this lady would NOT allow anyone to work on her.

It gave me the shivers as I pondered that she could have had the best possible care available today and for free as we exchange sessions on each other at practice. SHE TURNED DOWN GOD'S HELP MONTH AFTER MONTH UNTIL SHE NO LONGER FELT GOD'S LOVE FOR HER!!! Just like the turkeys not being able to see that I loved them enough to break open that squash for them, she couldn't see that God loved her so much that He sent His ONLY son to die on the cross for her. NOW SHE'S DEAD! She leaves a grown son and a grieving mother and many people who tried to help her.

OH GOD, SHOW ME HOW TO HELP PEOPLE SEE HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM AND WANT TO HELP THEM FIND THEIR WAY TO THE PEACE THAT YOU HAVE FOR THEM!!!! This is my Sabbath prayer tonight.

Sleep well and happy Sabbath!

Dawn


PS. This is definitely one of the posts that I'll cringe at later for posting before proof-reading. However, I am tired and I hear that they are done with the feast so I will go and join them for family prayer time. Please bear with the imperfections!!!

Humor--health related

Dear friends,

I was thinking this morning about my post on humor. I was hoping that you all don't think I'm the biggest Scrooge in the world. You see, I really DO feel all of those things about people who mock others. I just can't stand it because I can't stand to think of anyone having hurt feelings. One can't live through all of the years of abuse that I endured and take things like that lightly.

Still, I wondered this morning if my comments may have seemed harsh to others? After all, I wasn't exactly kind to these car expert buffoons. I was a bit surprised, then, that my thoughts were much kinder towards them this morning. Pondering the change I suddenly hit on a wonderful thought.

You see, I have had cancer numerous times in the past. I always treat it with herbs and my zapper and lots of TLC. One of the symptoms of cancer, and usually the first red flag that I'm dealing with it again, is that one's thinking changes. When I have cancer, (I can't speak for others) my thinking gets extremely negative. EVERYBODY BUGS ME!!! Why can't they try and be a little quiet; or a little less wiggly; or a little bit more compassionate? WHY INDEED.

Don't they know that my pain level is out of the roof? Can't they see the pain on my face as shown in this picture? Doesn't anybody care that I have cancer? Why do they expect me to keep working the way I always do when I have cancer? Who cares if they eat when I'm hurting so badly? Why do I have to continually ask people to carry the laundry basket out to the wash line for me? I can hang up the wash but I'm too weak to carry the basket. I want to be useful but I have such little strength. I can snap beans but carrying the water to the canner hurts too much. EVERYTHING HURTS TOO MUCH!!! Car expert bozos hurt too much. Can you see my thought processes here?

I'm humbling myself now. I don't want to be weak. Nobody wants to be weak. Nobody wants to need others to do the little things for them that they normally can do for themselves. I'm aching now because I can see that God wants me to share these thoughts to help others who have cancer and my natural instinct (from growing up in an incestuous home) is to keep my mouth shut and suffer all alone.

Have you ever read the thoughts of someone who has cancer? Has anyone ever taken the time to write them out to try to make a dent in the ignorance all around them? I'm writing for you, dear cancer patient, to try to help you see the ray of hope that comes from tackling problems like cancer by working WITH the body, not by attacking the body. God WILL heal me, as He has done so many times before, but not by my running in to be burnt or cut open.

Do you remember when I said that my naturopath, Dr. Faye, told me to ponder what I am to learn when I have cancer. Well, I see that I just learned a biggie. I think that what God wants me to learn this time is to share my thoughts with the world so that people can see that cancer warps one's thinking. Cancer completely changes me from a confident person to a whiny little kid. Cancer makes me angry because I can't do the work that lies around me without pain, Pain, PAIN!!!!!

Some days I just give up and lie in bed and do BodyTalk on myself and sleep all day--or soak in the whirlpool for 3 hours and turn into a prune. Those are the bad days. I've had it 10 weeks now and most days I can keep plugging along at about 1/2 to 3/4 pace. Those are the good days. Well, you know what? I'm selfish enough to want EVERY day to be a GREAT day!!!!!!!!!!

Cora took this picture of me this Spring when I felt great. When I don't have cancer, I feel great and so alive and so excited about everything all around me. I can work all day without tiring; cook wonderful meals for my family; teach exciting lessons to my children; do the laundry; or drive tractor; or milk the goats all without pain. My face is calm and relaxed and I do not hurt.

I WANT TO LIVE when I don't have cancer and I WANT TO DIE when I do have cancer. It's that simple. Cancer makes you want to die. I suffer from suicidal thoughts often when I have cancer. It just doesn't seem like it is worth the effort of fighting my way through the pain to a pleasant thought when I have cancer. Many people kill themselves when they feel like this. I can understand why.

I write to you who love someone who has cancer. I write this so that you may catch a glimpse of their thought processes. I write this so that you can try to understand what they are going through. I write this so that you may search your heart for a way to show them that you love them even though they have cancer.

You may never know what a little, tiny, eensy teensy weensy effort to try to understand someone who has cancer can mean to them. You may not know that a simple, little gesture can give a cancer patient the will to fight to the end of that day. You may not know that your words, "I'm praying for your health needs," can touch the heart of a cancer patient with extreme joy. It is this joy, which the cancer patient needs more than anything, that will begin to bring the healing.

Some day soon, when I am completely well, I will write about the routine I use when I have cancer. I'm not strong enough now, but I will do it soon. Today I needed to share what I have shared so that everyone out there will pause just one moment to reach out to someone who has cancer. The cancer patient can't help that they have cancer, but it's so terrifying that people prefer to stay away from them, and that is what hurts the most. That means that when the patient needs love the most, they fight the biggest fight of their lives ALONE!!!

Thank you for listening to my thoughts. This morning I feel quite a bit stronger than I did when I wrote the humor post. This morning I had the strength to write and explain that I only want to bring joy and beauty to the whole world. This morning I count my blessings of almost having the cancer licked. Look at this little guy in my hands. He's a half grown goose by now and I am growing too. I'm picking up my courage to express my thoughts about having cancer. This has helped me to grow more than I can explain. God bless you for listening.

To conclude, I would say that it would be wise for all of us to look for personality changes in those we love. If they seem more snappy and weak, it may be that they just need more rest or better food or a shoulder to cry on. However, if this continues for weeks, perhaps the kindest thing to do would be to climb over the Mountain Denial, and face the possibility that cancer may have become active in the body.

Then you simply MUST run to the doctor, right? WRONG. I can see that I need to write my cancer procedural chart out ASAP. Let me rest now and I'll see if I can find the strength to do it later on today. In the meantime, check out Dr. Hulda Clark's recommendations listed on my sidebar.

Love always,

Dawn

Gladys

I finally have a few moments to write as things have been busy here. Actually Saturday was about as un-busy as a day can be, but I was too busy enjoying being lazy that I didn't even have the urge to write. That was a lovely day of sleeping in late; lazily doing chores; exercising; showering; dining on leftovers from Friday night (we do not cook on Saturday); singing together; "Churching" with pastor Davis; resting; playing games; choring; watching movies.

At chores that night Cora said, "Do you mind if I pick a movie?"

I said, "No, what do you have in mind?"

She surprised me with, "Cinderella." I was delighted and we managed to talk the guys into watching with us. When I was a girl, Cinderella was on tv once a year and I was always fascinated. How could a little nobody become a princess? It still absolutely fascinates me to ponder and it was so much fun singing the songs with Julie Andrews that I haven't sung in years. My favorite is, "10 minutes ago I met you..." Jacob left during the mushy parts but the step-sisters were so pathetic that Robert and Andrew laughed most of the time. I never viewed it as funny when I was a child but with them laughing beside me, and knowing how it would turn out, they weren't nearly as threatening as they were years ago.

Anyway, we were almost finished watching Cinderalla when the phone rang. It was Leo, our neighbor and he was very somber. He said, "I want you to know that I took Gladys up to the hospital in Bismarck--she could hardly breathe." I told him that I would visit her on Sunday, but it weighed on me, and the rest of Cinderella was not very joyful.

Yesterday was as busy as Saturday was restful. I got up and felt very poorly. I'm sure that the stress over Glady's situation was weighing on me. Glady's has been a mother substitue for me ever since we're here--she's one of the few people around here who has been friendly. I knew that I needed to act quickly if my plans for the day would be saved.

I stayed in from chores and did a BodyTalk session on myself while the whirlpool slowly filled. There were lots of emotional issues that came up in the session and I felt much better emotionally afterwards but oh, how my body ached. I'll never really know what the whirlpool does but it works miracles every time I take the time to use it. Thanks, Lord, for this BIG blessing in my life!

Then it was 11:30 and Cora asked me, "Are you well enough to go?" That was what I was wondering too. So I sat down and prayed and felt led to go. Cora quickly packed my lunch while I gathered my books, linens, and purse and I was off to Bismarck which is 60 miles away.

My session was with a new client whom I will call, Walt, and it went very well. It was my first time that I was alone working on a man as I was the only one working in the office and he isn't married. I was glad that I knew him or I'd have died of embarrassment. His session was set for 1:00 and I was dusting when he showed up at about 1:15.

Walt came breathless into the room and said, "Dawn, oh good, it's you."

I laughed and asked why. He said, "Because you wrote that the address is 1101 S. Washington and that is on the other side of the street. I've been driving up and down the street looking for your van."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. So we went outside and looked for the street address on the building which wasn't on the side of the parking lot. Walt took off running around the building and came around a few minutes later stating that the number is on the other side and it is 1102 South Washington. I'M SURE THAT I'LL NEVER FORGET NOW. So, if you're ever scheduled for a session with me at my office, and I give you the wrong address, this is what the building looks like. :)

Anyway, I apologized and we laughed and went back up the steps to the office. He put my cell number in his cell phone then in case that ever happens again. A year ago I'd have died to have a man put my phone number in his phone but I am getting so much more balanced with each session I do and I've come to see that men are just people too!!!

We had a great session and a great talk afterwards. He's very interested in BodyTalk so maybe we'll get a man in our group of BodyTalkers yet!!! I told my family later that he said that he wants to take the next Access class in September and he seemed so interested in learning more about BT and they said, "Sure mom, but he's interetsed in everything." So we'll have to see where that leads.

Anyway, I digress. After I cleaned up the office, I went to the hospital to see Gladys. I was shocked to see how terrible she looked. I prayed silently, "How can I bring it up to her that I KNOW BT would help her in some way." We visited for about half an hour when I felt led to ask her if she had heard about the young man in our neighborhood who committed suicide.

BULLS EYE!!! She started crying. Gladys told me that this young family had joined their church not too long ago but that she left him because of his drinking. Still, she was very upset when he had shot himself through the heart.

When she started trembling, I suddenly remembered her telling me once that a member of her family had shot himself. Then things clicked in my brain. I have read repeatedly that asthma is very strongly emotionally based. Gladys took a sudden turn for the worse right after the suicide. She told me that yesterday morning she had had a terrible attack where 4 nurses tend to her to try to keep her breathing. Well, this would have been during the time when she normally would have been in church.

"May I do a BodyTalk session on you, Gladys?" I found myself asking timidly.

She seemed to take comfort and stopped trembling although the tears still flowed. "Can you do it in here?"

I had decided not to take my books with me when I went in as I felt that I would have been stressed trying to do BT on somebody who was hooked up to all kinds of machines. I told Gladys that I would go out to the car and do it when we were done talking. She nodded and when, a few minutes later she got a phone call, that is just what I did.

It was beautiful there under the trees with the breeze blowing through the van but my heart was heavy. It still is. I was working on trying to free up my special friend from the memories of this terrible thing called suicide, while deep feelings stirred inside reminding me of when I struggled with those thoughts throughout my life and not so long ago.

This was when something neat happened. I don't know if I sobbed but suddenly I felt somebody was watching me. A nice, plump man in his early 70s had come back to his pickup which was parked beside my van. I looked up to see him gazing at me intently. He asked in a friendly way, "Are you ok?"

I smiled at him and said, "Yes" so he smiled back and said, "Good". He got in his pickup and left then and I blessed him for that little, "Are you ok?" meant so very much to me. You see, God always gives us encouragement at just the right time.

Well, I finished Glady's session and found myself out of food and very hungry. I treated myself to a taco salad at Taco Johns and then went to be with my kindred spirits at the Doublewood. The monthly BodyTalk practice for practitioners was extra special this month for not only was Elizabeth there but Melanie, my teacher from New York, was present also.

I learned about upcoming classes and then we reviewed Body Chemistry and practiced on each other. I got to work with Lauri who took Mod. 1 & 2 last year and is a really neat lady. Although we were in Body Chem, a link to my skeletal system came up and my back felt much better afterwards.

All too soon it was time to head for home and I left my little cocoon of safety with my fellow BodyTalkers. Oh, I should say that my friend Ellen Schultz was honored for passing her test. She tapped me on my arm after she sat down next to me and said in my ear, "You're next." Then, when I said my farewell to Melanie she said, "We'll see you in November, Dawn." I laughed as she knows that I'm planning to test then when she comes back to teach again. It was just so wonderful to be together with my friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After I tore myself away from them, I sped towards home. It was a pretty rough trip for several reasons. First of all I knew that I wouldn't see everybody for another month. Secondly, I was burdened for Galdys (who needs another session today by the way) and thirdly because there were TONS of bugs splattering into my windshield. By the time I got to Steels, I could hardly see through the glass. I scrubbed on it for at least 10 minutes while the gas ran into the van. After I was finished, I looked around and saw a sight I have never seen. All around me there were men, women, and children scrubbing for all their might to get the bugs off of their windshields. It was really weird--the feeling that you get at a gas station when you're out there in the middle of a blizzard. There's a comradery in joint misery and so we scrubb, scrubb, scrubbed the bugs off of windshields, dashes, and even headlights so we could continue on our journey.

Well, I thought that was the end of my trials but not so. Three miles north of here I came around a curve to find 2 black yearling steers on the road. One headed for the ditch but, just at the wrong moment, the other one turned in front of the van. I was glad that I usually slow down for the curves as I hit him broadside. He bellered and ran in front of the van for awhile until he figured out that he could get away from his tormentor by heading into the ditch. WOW--what a stressful day. I got home with only a broken licence plate holder just in time to pray with my family.

Is it any wonder that today I'm hurting? Now I need to drive tractor all afternoon so I'm asking for prayer. After all of that negativity I want to close with some positive thoughts complete with pictures. This is the broccoli head that I picked on Friday night. I have never in my life grown such a large, tight head of broccoli not to mention that hundreds of little heads growing out there. I would say from the broccoli, Sonic Bloom DEFINITELY WORKS--thanks for sharing it with us, Bob.

This morning I found these pictures of Cora on my computer so I thought it would be a good time to honor her. What would I do without my lovely daughter, Cora? She keeps this place running like a clock whether I'm here or not. Besides being beautiful on the outside, she's a true beauty on the inside. She told me this morning that she sprayed everything with Sonic Bloom again yesterday. Thank you, Cora Beth, for all of the joy that you bring into my life!!!!!!!!!! I agree with you, how I wish that hats would come back into style again. :)

Best get to work.

Dawn

PS. Please keep my neighbor lady, Gladys, in your prayers.

Dad

Well, we're home and dad is not with us. I never dreamed that I would have peace about leaving him down there, but I praise the Lord that it is so. I'm not certain if I could tolerate living with somebody who is that selfish. A friend said to me that suicide is the ultimate in selfishness and I think he's right. Well, here are the details of our day.
Robert was so tired this morning as he cleaned grain all day yesterday.
OH RATS. Things have changed here and I can see that I don't have time to do this justice. Still, I will summarize the day so as not to leave you all hanging about my dad. We took dad to church and then went out to the cemetery. Duard came when we got back to the house and we discussed dad coming home with us. Dad said that he wanted to stay at home and help Duard on the farm.
Duard told us privately that twice yesterday dad drove the tandem truck in the ditch at the intersections of country roads. Does he really need that kind of help?
Anyway, I told Duard that I want the opportunity to do BodyTalk sessions on dad and he agreed. I did a long session on dad, which he slept through, and afterwards he seemed more steady on his feet.
We took him to the play, which Sharel directed, and he even laughed a few times.
Somewhere in there I sat down with dad and told him that I do not EVER want to hear him talk about suicide ever again. I told him that it stresses me out when he does so. He looked at me with the strangest expression. I swear that he never saw me before in his life. He growled,

"Well, I guess I have to keep my thoughts to myself."

"If you're going to have thoughts like THAT, you do," I replied.

We sat and looked at each other like two old bears who meet over the same berry bush. Then we went and ate lunch. Is it any wonder that I got an eating disorder?
We saw Robert's folks for about an hour before we left Eureka. They want us to tear down their old building NOW and Robert said, "NO." Then we headed for home and discussed how selfish our parents are until I fell asleep.
Now chores are done and we are all together again. Cora just said that she made oatmeal so I'll warm it up and Andrew can tell us about his day of grain cleaning and we can tell the children about our trip to Eureka. I'm glad that I survived and I am soooooooooo glad that our home remains intact.

Suicide

PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR FAMILY. My brother, Duard, just called and BEGGED us to take dad up here for a few days or for a week. He said that dad is getting worse. I asked him, "In what way is he getting worse?" Duard said that dad just cries and cries and this morning he told Duard that he wants to kill himself.
Duard said, "We have got to get him out of that house."
Being there is nobody at Duard's house during the day, we are the most logical choice for a place to dump him.
I called Robert and he said that he will think about it. One thought he had is to tell my dad that, IF he wants to live, we will bring him here to help him--otherwise not.
This is all so crazy. Robert is trying to protect me from giving myself away to the point where my health falls apart again. I wonder if it wouldn't be easier to have him here where I can keep an eye on him--maybe give him some BodyTalk sessions that would help him to process mom's sudden death.
The only thing that dad likes to do is to watch tv and we don't even have one. OH HELP US TO KNOW YOUR WILL, DEAR LORD!!