Now this was when he had a serious head cold AND he was walking away from me making it hard for me to hear. On top of this, my mother had just died. I was curious about something so I asked him, "And how would you describe my blog."
He thought a few seconds and I heard him say, "Full of death."
"Thanks a LOT," I thought and proceeded to give him the cold shoulder.
Praise the Lord that Robert looked at me just then and noticed something amiss.
"What did you think I said?" he asked me.
"Full of death," I replied.
Then he laughed and said, "What I said was, 'Full of DEPTH'!"
I laughed then too but it made me realize that perhaps it would be wise for me to "Warn" all of you when I'm in a particularly "DEEP" mood. That way you can go to Cora's blog if you're not ready for the somber thoughts I have at times. Consider yourself warned.
Today I seemed distant from everyone--sometimes we call it being "Off" around here. It was like the Lord was trying to show me something and I needed to pay more attention to Him. I felt so alone over at the Braddock quasi celebration, although my family was all around me. It was as though I needed to step back and look at what was going on as though I weren't in the scene. What I saw saddened me like never before.
Perhaps I was more aware of this because I had just read what the American Family Association (AFA) was saying about our country dropping God out of EVERYTHING. Essentially we are becoming a pagan country--breaking the heart of our God who made us great when we had humble hearts towards him and each other.
Most of the women that I saw were in a state of semi-nakedness. It wasn't just the young women either. I watched how they teased the men in their lives with their bodies. I grew up watching and doing this, having gone through the system, but today it was just so repulsive to me. How are men supposed to focus on morality when their major weakness of sight is used against them by the very women they are to protect? I saw my younger self in this and was deeply grieved. It made me angry that my father didn't care enough about me to warn me to cover my body and keep it to myself--to save it for that special someone who would come later.
Of course I've repented of flaunting my body before any male in sight but that doesn't mean that I don't have regrets.
Most of the males I saw were either drinking; had been drinking; or were talking about going drinking. Praise the Lord that Robert walked away from that scene while in collage and our sons think it's stupid. When we were watching the Strolling Strings, this half drunk man in his 70s tried to get his body into the seat next to me. HE MISSED!!!! He ended up sitting half on my lap and half on the seat next to me. Not only was this disgusting but it HURT MY BACK SOMETHING AWFUL WHEN HE FELL ON ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I was soooooooooooooooo grossed out.
We left shortly after the violinists did. I was so grieved in my spirit that I just wanted to get out of there. Earlier, while we were sitting trying to stomach the bad harmony of one of the groups, I looked around and said to Robert, "I wonder if there is anybody here, other than us, who REALLY loves the Lord!!! I looked for that peace that one bears when they know that they are within the will of God for their lives. I looked for someone who was truly happy with themselves and with their family. Then I started looking for another family. There were precious few families present. You know, Dad and Mom and children--a FAMILY. A family sitting together; laughing together; loving each other--a FAMILY.
My heart is so heavy now as I ponder the demise of the family in our culture. One lady earlier in the day had said that within 25 years there will be no more small towns in North Dakota. WHAT? NO SMALL TOWNS? Well, isn't it true that families built the small towns? The men had their own businesses; the women tended their homes well; and the children learned from both parents what it meant to be a responsible adult. WHERE HAS ALL OF THIS GONE?
I chose this picture because it is how I'm feeling right now. I'm sorry to be so long-faced, but I did warn you at the beginning of this post that I was in a somber mood. I thank God that He has always given me a pet to love during the dark years of my life. Thank God for writing too!
I'm also going to share something that I read on the way over to look at the fireworks. As I've shared before, I am reading the book ERLING THE BOLD to the family during meals when I don't eat or if we're all in the vehicle together. This stirred me up to realize how far we have drifted from true nobility of thought and purpose. Maybe if everyone in the whole country would read about Erling's tremendous devotion to protecting the freedom of the people of Norway from their tyrant king, we the people would wake up and rid ourselves of the complacency which threatens our freedoms as well. I quote from chapter 20:
Haldor looked full in (his son)Erling's face, and his own noble countenance glowed with an expression of majesty which cannot be described, and which arose from the deep conviction that one of the most momentous eras in his life had arrived--a period in which his own fate and that of all he held most dear would in all probability be sealed. Death or victory, he felt assured, were now the alternatives; and when he reflected on the great power of the King, and the stern necessity there was for the exertion of not only the utmost bravery, but the most consummate skill, his whole being glowed with suppressed emotion, while his bearing betokened the presence, and bore the dignified stamp of a settled purpose to do his best, and meet his fate for weal or woe, manfully.
Once I read in Fascinating Womanhood, "If chivalry is dead, then we women have killed it." If it is true that we women weaken our men, by thinking we are so tough that we have no need for our men to be strong like Haldor and Erling were, we deserve to have our men be so weak that only alcohol and women's bodies inspire them. Oh God please forgive me for when I have done this to the men that you have put in my life. Oh God, PLEASE save our land if that is yet possible.
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