Frustrated and Farming

This is ridiculous. I have been feasting since Sunday night after half a month of fasting on the Master Cleanse. This means that in the past 48 hours I have had several white flour buns; lots of our baked beans; plenty of tortilla chips with salsa and hot cheese dip; 1 glass of punch; and 3 pieces of cake. Today I have a sore throat. How can that be? I fought off Robert's bug for almost a month as long as I stayed off of sugar and white flour. Now just a few "Cheats" later, I have a sore throat which is how Robert's bug started. ): I guess I just cannot handle sugar and that's that. Of course, I also know that stress plays a role in weakening our immune systems and I've had a little of that this weekend too.

Then today I GOT to drive tractor most of the afternoon. I was complaining to Robert that I kept picking up rocks in between the disc blades. This means that I had to take the 100 pound (only a slight exaggeration) disc wrench out to the disc. After using leverage to pry the rocks out, I had to drag that thing back to the cab; hoist it up to the floor of the cab which is about 2 feet above my head; climb back in the tractor; and then lift it over the seat as it rests behind the seat. Robert told me not to complain about being held up with all of this because, when I was finished discing, I get to pick rocks. LOVELY!!!!!!!

I finally got the field finished about 4:00 and then did some deep reciprocals while I waited for Cora and Jacob to pick me up with the 9030. Jacob drove and Cora and I picked rocks until 7:00. It was cool and damp and miserable and my throat started to REALLY hurt. This was when I decided that I better get back to placing my health as a priority.

So I'm going in to my room to exercise. According to Peggy Brill, the author of the Core program, you should never skip more than 2 days in a row or your muscles will start to go backwards. I didn't do it last night because I wanted to finish my post about the graduation party. I didn't exercise for 2 nights before as I was at the graduation party or preparing for it, but now I am going. My neck and shoulders really ache and that is the best antidote, so I'm going now. :)

Can you tell that I'm trying to talk myself into this? Why is it that I never need to talk myself into eating sugar or white flour, when I know that they are bad for me? Why must I talk hard to convince myself that it is time to exercise or mix up a new batch of lemonade? I suppose the reason is that I am a sinner and like Paul says, "That which I would not, I do; and that which I would do, I don't." Sometimes I get so sick of the sin in me that I could just scream, "Why didn't anybody love me enough to use the rod on me when I was little?" Proverbs 22:15 says, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." Now I am stuck as an adult, with all of this foolishness in me, and I have to wait until God can get through my thick skull to prune it out of me. PLEASE FORGIVE ME, LORD, AND DO YOUR GOOD WORK IN SPITE OF ME TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!