FINALLY

Finally I THINK I get it--I think I understand the mystery of this finger business. I have been deeply grieved over it since this last session. It's like all hell has broken out with it peeling almost all the way up to the knuckle on the backside and blistering something awfully on the front side. It kept me awake last night until I got up and put some kombucha on it. I figured, if that didn't kill the itch, nothing would. Then I slept.

I just didn't seem to get what the Lord was trying to teach me through this experience. Did you ever have lots and lots of thoughts about something, but nothing seemed to make sense when you added up 1 + 1. Did you ever pray for weeks about something and then, all of a sudden, it clicked and you understood. This is what happened tonight--this is how the Lord spoke to me through my precious family.

Jacob was reading my, "Pet peeve" post. He asked, "What's a peeve?" Everyone laughed and we tried to explain it to him. Then he jokingly said, "Well, where do you keep your PET peeve, Mom?" I was trying to come up with an answer to that question when somebody said, "What do you want to keep it for anyway?" Then somebody else said, "Yeah, why not get rid of it?" Then somebody else said, "Maybe you should run an ad in the giveaway section, "Pet peeve for giveaway."

We all laughed, but it stirred something up in me and I felt suddenly excited that I was coming to the end of my journey with this finger business and maybe much more than that! As I washed the supper dishes, my mind was taken back to 2006 when I was deathly ill. I had a friend named Christopher then, who is a Master Herbalist. Chris helped me in soooo many ways, as I battled for my life, but the thing that sticks in my mind the most is when he explained something really profound to me about the concept of healing.

Chris had the details that I don't have now, but he said that we are constantly making new cells in our bodies. These new cells replace the old dead cells so that every so many weeks or months our organs, endocrines, and body parts are completely remade. He went through the different kinds of cells and how quickly the multiply--some of them completely replacing their old parts in as little as 21 days!

By that time I had been ill for many months. Most of those cells that I had when I first had gotten ill had been completely replaced. I remember Chris saying to me then, "If you've had all new cells since you first got ill, then why are you STILL ill? Could it be that your THOUGHTS are keeping you sick? Could it be that sick THOUGHTS are making the newly made cells sick too?" INDEED!

So back to tonight. As I pondered getting rid of my pet peeve AND my itchy finger, I realized that it is once again my thoughts that are keeping me sick. This is almost 4 months now that I'm dealing with this finger. Then I thought about what emotions that finger stores. IT STORES ANGER AND SEXUALITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, if you've been following my blog for any length of time, you'll know that for 20 years I've been trying to recover from the severe abuses that I endured in my childhood. Those are the emotions that have been coming out of my finger during these last 4 months of REALLY deep BodyTalk sessions.

"I JUST DON'T GET IT," I cried out to the Lord as I washed the supper dishes, "what are you trying to tell me? If I'm capable of rebuilding healthy cells very quickly (especially in the skin) then why is my finger still so sick?"

I felt the Lord urging me to think about the emotions stored in the finger and how long they've been there. Why, it's been almost 50 years since the abuse first began--that's a long time to store something. "If it's true, Lord, that I could have rebuilt all new cells in my finger by now, then why didn't I?" EXACTLY.

SUDDENLY, LIKE A LIGHTNING BOLT, I UNDERSTOOD THAT MY FINGER HASN'T GOTTEN WELL BECAUSE I DON'T REALLY BELIEVE THAT GOD CAN HEAL ME FROM INCEST!!!!!!!!! IT'S TOO UGLY! IT'S BEEN TOO LONG! MY PARENTS NEVER MADE IT RIGHT! IT'S HOPELESS! WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Melanie always says that a BodyTalk session brings things to the light so that we can deal with them. It's like lowering the water layer on an iceberg so that we can see what needs to be done to fix the problem. Now I am in tears as I see that my UNBELIEF is what has continued my agony these many months with this finger.

Now I see that even THIS must yield to Scripture, so I insist that it try to stand up against this promise in Philippians 4:13: For I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. ALL THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can even be healed from the chains of self-hatred forged early in the home of my childhood.

What a leap for my mind to see that on the inside I can be totally clean and healthy and happy like my finger will be once again after this passes on. I covet your prayers as I face the most dreadful truth of all--the knowledge that I have despised myself for something that wasn't even my fault! Do you suppose that it's time, like Ecclesiastes says, to tear down the self-hatred that I learned 5 decades ago? GOD CAN HEAL EVEN THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PRAISING HIM,

Dawn

OH MY!!! I always knew that the Lord is incredible but I just closed this post; went in my room to put my books away for the day; and my eyes feel on these words. I knew that I just HAD to open this post up again and add these words from my Module 3 book. This is what Dr. Veltheim writes in the chapter explaining how consciousness works. I quote from page 66:

Other kinds of expectations can be around the client's view of themselves or how they label themselves. For example, someone with a drinking problem may accept the label, "I am an alchoholic." For this person, even if an underlying physiological disorder such as poor sugar metabolism is balanced, they will still be unable to drink socially. Because they have accepted a label of alcoholism, the first drink will trigger their belief that they cannot drink moderately. They may indeed go on a drinking binge and fulfill the prophecy contained in the label. THIS CAN BE SIMILAR FOR ANY DISEASE WITH WHICH A CLIENT IDENTIFIES--NO CURE IS POSSIBLE. AS LONG AS THEY LABEL THEMSELVES BY THE DISEASE, THEY CAN ONLY GO ONTO TEMPORARY REMISSION OF SYMPTOMS.

In my case tonight, as I ponder these words, I see that very early in life I accepted the label, "Victim," for that is what I was and that is what I stayed! I share my prayer with the hopes that, if this is sounding familiar to you, you too will seek His help to be free from all labels!!!

OH LORD, PLEASE FREE ME THIS VERY NIGHT, ONCE AND FOR ALL, FROM THIS DREADFUL LABEL WHICH HAS KEPT ME WEAK AND SICKLY WHEN YOU HAVE SUCH A BETTER LIFE PLANNED FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHOW ME HOW TO OVERCOME THIS LABEL OF "VICTIM!"

IN YESHUA'S NAME,

AMEN!