First day of Fall

Well, I was doing pretty well today on the first day of Fall. I was so happy to be out in my garden picking produce to put up in the kitchen with my lovely daughter, Cora Beth. We made our first pickles today and everything was warm and sunny and much like the lost Summer.

After it got dark, though, I started pondering what a rotten excuse for a father I have and all the sunshine left my soul. I was telling Robert about how my dad practically worships my sister-in-law, Sharel. You'd think she was perfect or something. HE EVEN BOUGHT HER A BOX OF CHOCOLATES!!!! Not once in my entire 51 years of life, has that man bought me something just to make me feel special.

The doldrums were starting to mess with my head when the Lord came to my rescue. You see I am still looking for a reading about thankfulness to share with the Alfred church this Sabbath. I dug out my very favorite book of poetry by Helen Steiner Rice called, SOMEBODY LOVES YOU! This is the poem I felt led to read and it helped so much. I still would appreciate your prayers, though, as I try to adjust to the change of seasons. Do others of you struggle with this too?

BE NOT DISMAYED BY DISMAL DAYS

It's a dismal, dreary morning and as I sometimes do
I feel a little dreary and kinda downcast too,
For let nobody tell you that life's a "Happy song,"
And that we just keep smiling when everything goes wrong...
For it just would not be natural to always wear a smile,
For a smile would be a, "Silly grin" if it covered up a trial...
For there are certain periods when the soul is, "Sweetly sad,"
As it contemplates the mystery of both good times and the bad.
We're not really discontented and we are never unaware,
That the good Lord up in Heaven has us always in His care,
But the soul of man is restless and it just keeps longing for
A haven that is safe and sure that will last forever more...
And as I sit here writing this a thought passes through my mind--
"Why dwell on past or future or what's ahead or gone behind?
Just follow God unquestioningly because you love Him so,
For if you trust His judgement there is nothing you need know!

I DO love the Lord so much and I DO trust His judgement, but it's just so hard sometimes to know that my mother went to her grave without loving me and my father seems intent on doing the same. How does one ever REALLY accept this without it doing great damage to oneself? HOW???????????