An Independance Day Miracle

How I wish that I had time to do this post justice but we're rushing around like mad to get chores done. We need to move along quickly because we have tickets for the rodeo in Mandan tonight and we need to get there to pick "Perfect" seats. Plus Jacob wants to stop in Steele on the way to buy fireworks with "His own" money that he earned.

I REALLY EXPERIENCED A MIRACLE THIS MORNING!!!!!!!!!!! I REALLY DID!!!!!! Before I blunder through this, I want to thank all of you for praying for me and my family of origin. I can see how God has worked through my dad's hospitalization in Sioux Falls in a way that He couldn't have had if dad had been in a Bismarck hospital. Thank you, Lord, for blessing me in this way.

You see, yesterday when Rick was talking to me on the phone, I got to thinking that my oldest brother, Russell, should know that dad is sick. Rick said that Duard wouldn't tell him and that he didn't want to either. I said that I would call Russell and let him know what is going on. Rick seemed mildly shocked, but didn't fight me for the honor.

Russell was civil yesterday and I gave him dad's phone number in the hospital. This morning Russell called me to say that he couldn't get anybody at the hospital and to check if the number was right. Robert was on the phone then too and told him that this was a private # and that dad was probably in surgery or having more tests done. Then he got off of the phone. That explained why Russell wasn't able to get dad on the phone.

Russell asked if he could talk to me and I said, "Yes." He proceeded to explain to me why it was literally imposable for him to have been at mom's funeral. I was sympathetic and his heavy heart started to unwind a little bit. Soon he was telling me a few of the horrors that HE went through as a child in the home of Harvey and Erdie Delzer. My memory proved that he was telling the truth but, in addition, my adulthood gave me insights into how dreadfully my brother had suffered because of our parent's sin of sexual immorality before marriage.

I found myself crying for the boy whom was never wanted and then he was crying too. I told him that I felt the same way in the family. He listened and I explained how our father hated me because I was born a GIRL. As soon as I said that, something snapped inside of him and he said, "Of course, that makes sense." Then he proceeded to tell me memories that he had of dad tormenting our mom verbally from his earliest memories. He could see a little of how I was tormented by dad for having the audacity of being born female.

Russell then told me the story of how dad drove him off of the farm. Dad publicly humiliated him and forced him cruelly to give up his dream of carrying on the family farm without a moment's notice. He said, "There's not a day that goes by that I don't relive those words."

We cried together some more while I prayed for wisdom. I said, "I would like to share with you what somebody shared with me. I would like to encourage you to go to God and ask Him to help you to forgive these people who destroyed your life!" I said that I just could not do this by myself but I learned that, with God's help, it was possible. I shared that by forgiving them, they no longer had the power to hurt me with the words that they spoke decades or weeks ago. How I wish that I had thought to mention the book TOXIC PARENTS.

Russell kept thanking me for understanding what he went through. After I had encouraged him to forgive dad and mom, even if it's only for his own sake, he said, "Maybe I can do that now." I wasn't sure what he meant by that but Robert said later that he thinks Russell meant that he could forgive our parents because SOMEBODY from our family took the time to try to understand all that he suffered in that terribly dysfunctional home we were raised in together.

I encouraged him again to seek God's help to forgive them and I felt that he would. I told him that I hoped that we could have a relationship. Without my ever expecting it, out popped those words that have choked my throat all of my life. "I love you, Russell," I blurted out for the first time in my life.

He was crying so hard but he muttered, "I LOVE YOU TOO, DAWN. YOU HAVE A SUPER INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!" I sobbed out, "You too," but then he was gone. I suppose that it was too much joy for him, who had been despised all of his life for nothing that he did, to absorb the fact that his sister understood his pain. WOW-IT WAS MORE "FAMILY" THAN I'VE EVER HAD IN MY ENTIRE 51 YEARS OF LIFE!!! It was REAL. MY BROTHER REALLY LOVES ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can hardly believe it and I can hardly stop crying tears of joy. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!

One more thing that I'd like to mention now. Russell said this morning, "When I got back from Vietnam, our parents treated me like _ _ _ _ (the synonym for manure.)" It registered but it went by so fast that I couldn't respond. Robert said that I need to call him again to thank him for serving his country. I had never in my life heard that he was in Vietnam. Can you imagine how sick this family is? Why in the world would my parents have kept it from us younger children that Russell was serving his country in Vietnam? Perhaps Russell was too emotional and said something that he didn't mean to but I must find out the truth.

Please continue to keep this situation in your prayers. May God richly bless those of you who have carried me and my family in your prayers. A special thanks to Tamera who blessed me unspeakably yesterday with her encouragement. Thanks also to Pastor Kyner for praying for this "Wayward" brother to find his way to the mercy seat of God. Thanks unspeakably to Ellen Johnson for sending her cousin to visit my dad in the hospital. Thanks, most of all, to God who has sustained my life through unspeakable horrors and has put my foot on the solid ground of HIS LOVE!!!!

What greater Independence day gift could HE have given to me than to show me that one of my three brother's genuinely loves me? May the loving Heavenly Father bless all of those who continue serving Him through the "Depths of despair." May He shower each one with joys greater than their sorrows from His ever-giving hands of love.

In the words of my brother, Russell, "You have a super Independence day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"