This came as an email forward from organic farming friends last night. We watched it over and over until our hearts were as light as theirs. I thought that I'd add it here to lighten this very imperfect blog post. This is what was said about it on YouTube. "An old couple walked into the lobby of the Mayo Clinic and spotted a piano. They've been married for 62 years and he'll be 90 this year." I feel that this is a perfect example of the thought pattern that I am trying to establish in my mind--that old age is simply a matter of attitude.
Mrs. Perfectionist is feeling pressure here because I didn't keep my word to myself to write every day of the Master Cleanse, like I did last time. I tell you this perfectionism thing is a pain in the neck--literally it causes my neck more pain when I INSIST THAT EVERYTHING BE PERFECT. I think I got some life-changing help, though, on Friday when my neighbor lady, Tamera, came to visit & to pick up Olivia's birthday cake. Cora has posted pictures on her blog of our visit if you'd like to see them (sorry Tamera--maybe the comparison will come next time.)
On Friday I was sharing with Tamera that I noticed lately that I seem to be so obsessed with little things. She, being a true friend and also a medical doctor, told me that she noticed that about me a loooooong time ago. She defined it for me as obsessive compulsive disorder. There, now I feel better that I know the name of it. She also told me that she has seen it disappearing as I get better AND that the fact that I became aware of it recently is a good sign. Usually people are totally unaware of these things when they need them for a crutch. As a person gets well, they can gradually let go of their crutches and just be happy being themselves--THAT IS THE GOAL!!!!!!!
I was telling Tamera that earlier in the week we had had pizza for supper. There were 3 pieces of pizza left on the pan when everyone was full. Two were facing one way and the other was at a very odd angle to them. In my mind I could see that everything would be just "Perfect" if SOMEBODY would slide that 3 piece of pizza into the other 2 so that they would fit together nicely on the pan.
I was getting stressed about this. Why couldn't anyone else see that the piece of pizza needed to be slid into it's "Proper" spot? That night I had finally laughed at myself and explained to my family that I couldn't have peace until the pizza pieces were all lined up correctly. You should have seen the looks I got
Tamera explained to me that the best thing for me to do, now that I can see this as "ODD", is to just go ahead and "Fix the problem" right away. She explained that if I had just slid the pizza piece in it's "Proper" spot as soon as it bugged me, I would have been able to lower my tension level immediately. I wouldn't have had to drag my family into my "Plight" at all and tensions would never have mounted. WOW. Thank you, Tamera, for helping me to see myself more clearly here!!
Since then, I've straightened out my bedspread even though my family was waiting for me to go to Eureka. By doing it right away, it no longer had the power over me to whisper all day, "I'm wrinkled--you're a poor housekeeper." WOW--that was a major de-stressing victory for me yesterday when I had enough stress to deal with just going to the graduation and my brother's house for the reception.
So Friday we cleaned the house; made the feast; visited with the neighbors; and I resolved not to be so PERFECT that it KILLS me if everything in the world ISN'T perfect. That resolution came in handy when we were in Eureka.
First I should say that we most likely would not have gone to my nephew Dylan's graduation in Eureka if my mom hadn't died. I knew that I needed to go and check on dad so we headed down there--it's an 80 mile drive. Andrew was excited to go pick up his new dirt bike that Uncle Ronald brought down from Fargo for him. It helped to have him along--at least somebody was excited about going to Eureka.
Anyway, it was a typical graduation except that they had it out by the lake. It really was a gorgeous setting and the weather was perfect. We got to sit by our home school friends, Donald and Roxanne and their 2 children. I was glad that we were sitting by them when the valedictorian very crudely snubbed home schooled students. We were all shocked!! Apparently the home schoolers keep beating their team at the state level in the brains' division. She thought it a good time to vent her anger about that and neither the Gills nor us were impressed. Robert did say on the way home that we should take it as a complement that the school system HAS noticed home schooling as an effective form of education.
The cool part is that Dylan included me in the list of ladies he honored with a rose. I was pretty surprised but pleasantly so. Also I was so happy that the Lord provided a nice tray of fresh fruit at Duard and Sharel's house. I was dreading going to the reception as it feels plenty silly not eating with my family here at home, but going to a party and not eating would seem "Ungrateful." With things not being good between our 2 families for decades I just did not want to make a scene by not eating. Having to say something like, "I'm on the master cleanse and am not eating anything for 15 days didn't seem like much comfort either." So, when I saw all of the wonderful fresh fruit, I delighted myself. This IS allowed under the phrase in the MC book, "If you simply MUST eat something, eat fruit." I just don't want to get in that habit because I WANT TO STAY TRUE TO THE PLAN AND LOOSE AS MUCH WEIGHT AS I POSSIBLY CAN." Any time a person on the cleanse eats, it slows down the detoxifying process and that is not the goal.
Speaking of this, I should say that yesterday morning I decided to weigh myself and found that I'd lost another 3 pounds in those 2 days. So far then, I've lost 9 pounds in 6 days. I decided to pat myself on the back when I was telling Robert about it and he chuckled. Knowing that the cleanse is working made it easier to sit and watch my family eat their fruit, chips, sandwiches, taco salad, and cake. TACO SALAD TOO--I LOVE THAT STUFF!!!
Well, today is 2 weeks until Andrew's graduation and I want to be the best that I can possibly be, so I press on. I didn't weigh this morning because I don't want to know if the fruit changed anything. How's that for denial? Truthfully, it takes a lot of prayer to prepare food for my family and know that I will have my lemonade for that meal while they enjoy the results of my labor. Friday night feast was the worst but maybe this week I'll have some fruit. :)
Well, we're going to plant the rest of the garden this afternoon; Spring clean the whole house; and take a nice leisurely nap so I'd better close. Then I wonder why I get stressed when I set such unrealistic goals for myself. OH GOD, HELP ME TO FIND THE BALANCE THAT WILL BRING ME TO TOTAL WELLNESS.
Thanks for your prayers and support as I continue on my journey towards wholeness and balance. If others have ideas to share about keeping positive along the way, please let me know.
Love to all,
Dawn
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